Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Today I'd rather be...

... in need of rescue. 

Save me, David Corenswet! You're my only hope! My pants have fallen off and only you can do something about it! Pardon me my Superman fan fiction here -- Entertainment Weekly dropped their big Superman issue this week (the movie is out in exactly one month!) and every photo of David Corenswet, in and out (ahem) of costume, was like a slap upside the face with a fistful of kryptonite. 

Sight unseen I hope this movie is good and successful because 

I need to continue staring at David Corenswet for a very long time. 

All About Andrea

In between all of the many, many, many Tribeca screenings I've been to over the past several days I did actually manage to drop a review -- click over to Pajiba to read my thoughts on Dragonfly, the latest tour de Andrea Riseborough. She remains one of my favorite actresses working today and this movie offers plenty more fuel for that fire. Oh and her co-star Brenda Blethyn ain't no slouch! Good pretty solidly fucked up movie.

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

If any one would like to spend their morning helping me figure out wtf is going on with that tattoo on Michele Morrone's lower business you're more than welcome -- the actor shared these pictures on his Insta yesterday and I was like, "Oh hot... oh... huh??" Even the one on his chest -- something about a parade? What is happening? Perhaps they're not for me to understand. They're a secret message to someone else. And yet! These were dropped in public so I feel implicated somehow. Are these my red or blue pills? My white whale? Are Michele Morrone's cum gutters the looking glass? Anyway hi, happy Wednesday. I'm back from several days of Tribeca screenings and uhhh obviously worse for the wear. Let me go contitute myself with some coffee and Cheerios and we'll talk shortly. Hit the jump for more of this abdominal markings mystery...  

Good Monday, World

Jonathan Bailey says Happy Monday!

 

As for me, I say that too -- but I am say that you should remember that I told you on Thursday I'll be in screenings for the Tribeca Film Festival most of today and tomorrow. I should be back here posting like normal come Wednesday though. Still there's no reason we can't have some Pantsless Jonathan Bailey this morning anyway. As a little treat.  

And People Wonder...

... why I will love Dakota Johnson forever.

Sam Nivola Five Times

Rather than leave you all weekend staring at my disappointing take on the Jai Courtney Shark Movie whenever you open the site, let's have a happier event on top -- The White Lotus' twink du jour Sam Nivola's new photoshoot for Dust magazine. He was photographed by the great Ryan McGinley so the photos are the good stuff (I got them off RM's Insta since Dust doesn't seem to have a link, at least not yet) -- I don't know if this is it or there might be more coming, but y'all make due. Oh and P.S. the Tribeca Film Fest begins today so I'm gonna be in screenings off and on for the next week so posting will be erratic. We'll see how it goes when we get there! Hit the jump for the rest of this tight little shoot anyway...

Maybe the Dangerous Animals Were Us All Along

I have been relentlessly hyped for Dangerous Animals, the "Jai Courtney murders people with sharks" movie since it was announced in May of last year -- how could I not be? That description has everything. Jai Courtney. Murder. Sharks. These are my interests boiled down to their essence. Just glance through our archives and you'll see all my ceaseless yapping. So anyway now the movie's in theaters today, the critics have been raving, and... y'all I didn't like it. What? How??? I even watched the movie twice just to make sure! I thought maybe the first view might've been a fluke because I had a really annoying woman sitting next to me at the screening who kept talking through the entire thing -- seriously if your deep insights amount to, "Oh he's dead" maybe keep that shit to yourself? -- but unfortunately the second viewing only cemented my first negative opinion, and even harder. 

Jai himself is a lot of fun, but the rest? Ooof. So yeah go read my review at Pajiba for the all of the gory details. I'm feeling extremely alone on an island with this opinion, too -- like I said as of right now this movie has a positive 88% on Rotten Tomatoes. But I'm right. Since it pains me to say it so much I have to be! It just never threads the needle it needs to between dumb and fun. The script is legitimately and deeply bad (dialogue that made me want to permanently deafen myself) and the movie takes itself stupidly serious. And I hate hate hated the two lead characters that weren't Jai. What a sad day for us all. Well at least we'll always have The Loved Ones, director Sean Byrne. Onto the next...

Just finished a review sort of eviscerating a movie I was really looking forward to and I thought I liked fine on a first watch - we critics can be unwieldy beasts

— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) June 4, 2025 at 5:21 PM

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watchin' Me

My favorite movie from Sundance this year was the queer-ish thriller Lurker starring Archie Madekwe (Saltburn) playing a rising pop star and Théodore Pellerin as the fanboy who worms his way into his inner circle -- the movie really keeps you on your toes and both the leads (as well as Havana Rose Liu from Bottoms) are absolutely ace. Here is my review of it. Today they dropped the trailer...

... and the poster (see the bottom of this post) since the movie is hitting screens on August 22nd so prepare yourselves! Honestly maybe don't watch the trailer, as it gives a lot up. Just listen to me! Why isn't that enough for you? Have I literally ever steered you wrong? Each and every one of you agree with me 100% of the time and I won't hear otherwise.

Seriously though -- everybody is terrific in this movie but this is sort of the role that Pellerin (an actor I've loved in everything I've seen him in to date) was kind of born to play... which maybe seems like an insult, given the role? But the boy nails it so he shouldn't care. (It probably says more about me than it does him to be honest.) But yeah he's so great in this -- just utterly cuckoo delicious. Will probably be one of my, if not the most, favorite performances of the year. So slap this bitch on your calendar, yo. And hit the jump for a couple more gifs from the trailer of note plus that poster...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Leave No Ma Behind

I don't know if any of you missed the news yesterday that Octavia Spencer is returning as Ma in Ma 2: The Ma-ening, but I wouldn't want anyone to go without that news so here I am making sure you don't. Yes I made up that title but clearly -- clearly -- that needs to be the title. I am available for script supervision, Octavia! I'm cheap! (Cheap as fuck.) Here is my review of the first movie -- here is the bit that really sells the movie, I think:

"Ma is superficially ninety minutes of ridiculousness and fun, a goof where Missi Pyle gets plowed over for a lark and Luke Evans' peekaboo cock is put to excellent prop use; where a lewdly photographed teenage boy does a gratuitous striptease and Allison Janney gets put in a dog cage."

So let's hope they know the movie they're making and 

they go for it again. Welcome to the Ma Rennassaince! 

Good Morning, World

I had something else planned for our last "Good Morning, World" post of the week this week but when I woke up this morning and opened my phone the first thing social media greeted me with was Jonathan Bailey strutting around in straight boy drag -- plus a skirt! -- for GQ and voila, our fortunes were altered. Doesn't this shoot feel like a somewhat purposeful choice though? To make him come off just a little itty bit butcher as he becomes the leading man in an enormous Hollywood franchise? But then...

... there are also shots like this and I feel as if I should rein in that talk. Not that nominally hetersexual menfolk a la Oscar Isaac and Morgan Spector haven't been rocking the skirt lately as well. Just shots like this...

... feel like such a sudden put-on to me. He's like chugging beer and eating chips in the video -- we're more than halfway to Tradie Porn here. Yes I might be American but I still gleefully know what Tradie Porn is thank you very much. And I think Jonathan certainly knows what it is as well. I don't know. It's early and I'm trying to think too much. Let's just look at the pictures! Hit the jump to just look at the pictures...

A Very Important Bisexual Announcement

Gregg Araki's throuple-coded romp Splendor from 1999 and starring a perhaps never hotter Johnathon Schaech, Kathleen Robertson and Matt Keeslar (swoon), is now streamng, for the first time anywhere I believe, on Tubi! Watch it right here! Granted the man-on-man action in this movie is extremely and frustratingly limited -- Araki for all his gay cred often edged us on that front -- but the homo-tension between Schaech & Keeslar is still enough to light my socks on fire every time I watch and re-watch and rewind and pause this movie, and I think you'll enjoy it too if you've never seen it. (See my previous posts on it here.) I have been having the feeling that this movie might be getting a physical media release soon -- once Gregg''s long long long begged for "Teen Apocalypse Trilogy" finally made its way to Criterion and then Smiley Face made it to Vinegar Syndrome I figured it'd only be a matter of time before the rest of his classics got dug up. I have a feeling that The Living End might be ahead as well. Also I just realized that I think Kaboom is out of print too? WTF! And of course Araki's series Now Apocalypse is still in desperate need of any release at all. Get to it, studios!

Oh Alain You Devil

Misericordia kind of fell through the cracks for me last year -- I saw it at NYFF but never got the chance to review it and then I was never really clear about its theatrical release... anyway the latest movie from Stranger By the Lake director Alain Guiraudie is very good and very very gay (no shock there) and I wish I'd written about it, is my point. But here's my chance, as well as yours -- Criterion will be premeiring the film on the Channel on June 10th! That's less than a week from now! Gay Pride is good for something! Also they've dropped the news that the film will also be getting a blu-ray release in September -- they haven't added it to their site yet but I imagine it'll be up there soon for pre-order. Anyway y'all should catch this one when it drops, whether online or on physical media, it's a weird little gem (quality "Queer Creeps" content) that's wedged itself into my brain and refused to let go all these many months. I look forward to revisiting it mself. Here's the trailer:

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

We here at MNPP HQ have been trying to monitor the Lucas Bravo Situation -- namely that the actor has been spotted "canoodling" with granola pariah Shaileene Woodley on several ocassions -- but for now we have nothing to report. Other than Lucas has gifted us with a sexy new photoshoot and video for yet another new magazine, this one called Imagine. This is the real news you can use.

The magazine hasn't shared any interview online yet -- they haven't even shared the photoshoot officially and all of these images are taken off of various Instagrams. So perhaps Lucas will 'splain himself in there, or not, whatever. We'll try to get over it with the assistance of these photos and the gifs I made, after the jump...

Pic of the Day

Timmy went to "Oh, Mary!" 

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... getting artistic with Ben Whishaw.

Yura Star!

How lovely! An opportunity to post a couple of pictures of Anora breakout star Yura Borisov! And with some helluva news, too. For a quick minute the headline for this news freaked me out -- all I saw was a THR headline with "AI" and "Luca Guadagnino" in it and I was like, "Noooooooo Luca!" I feared he was going the Natasha Lyonne route of disappointment. But no it's not that thankfully -- Luca is attaching his name to a movie called Artificial that is about the true life story of Open AI and its CEO Sam Altman, who was fired and rehired over the course of a couple tumultuous days in 2023.  So a Social Network kinda biopic sitch is what I'm getting from this. Anyway as for casting Yura isn't playing the lead Altman...

... that would be current Luca love Andrew Garfield (who's the star of his already filmed After the Hunt which is out later this year), which makes the Social Network connection feel even more on point. Yura would play "Ilya Sutskever, a co-founder who led the movement to get rid of Altman" while Timmy's A Complete Unknown co-star Monica Barbaro would play another person of interest, chief technology officer Mira Murati. THR says that Amazon is gung-ho on this project and wants it to shoot this very summer, so perhaps our skepticism about Luca's many unmade projects should be set aside on this one. We'll see. 

Cosmo Jarvis Plays the Other Man of Steel

Somehow I totally missed this news that dropped a couple of weeks back -- Variety reported that our talented boy Cosmo Jarvis is going to play Joseph Stalin in a movie called Young Stalin, directed by Georgian director Géla Babluani and based on the bestseller by author Simon Sebag Montefiore. You can see a photo of what Stalin looked like in his earlier days down below -- I'd say Cosmo's pretty good casting, especially once he slaps on that stache. Apparently Little Joe got himself into all sorts of criminal shenanigans involving bank robberies and that's what this story's about -- I don't know why they'd feel the need to draw a throughline from a life of criminality to dictatorships these days. So weird. Just coming out of nowhere, that one! (As a more pleasant aside if you'd like a couple more photos of Cosmo from the shoot seen up top, click here.)