Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Safe (1995)

Carol: I'm sorry. I know 

it's not normal but I can't help it.

This week Criterion dropped their 4K of Todd Haynes' 1995 masterpiece Safe -- or do I type it as [safe], I am never sure -- and I plan on re-watching the movie for the gazillionth time via this upgrade this weekend; I find something new every single time I revisit it, as all the greatest films manage. Thinking about what it will look like in 4K though has me thinking about what an astonishingly good looking film it is -- I wonder why it's the only movie Haynes ever shot with DP Alex Nepomniaschy? They accomplished something so spectacular together! -- and so I looked up the movie's budget and they made Safe for one million dollars. One million dollars! I know we're thirty years removed but that's incredible -- I looked up what that works out to in 2026 dollars and it's only about two and a half million now; Safe could not be made for 2.5 million in 2026, that's for sure. 

That's an odd tangent for me to spin off on -- the point is they made a film for one million dollars in 1995 that will look better than 99% of the movies released in 2026, and even assuming one percent might beat Safe in beauty and visual extravagance seems an enormous caveat to make. How we're thirty years removed from this movie and Todd Haynes still remains underappreciated I cannot fathom -- Safe is as far as I'm concerned a Top 5 movie about America. It should be bouncing around at the top of Sight & Sound polls. The original poster for this movie that I own is one of my greatest possessions. Sing a song of Safe y'all! Oh and I really recommend you all go read Walter Chaw's fantastic piece on the film at Roger Ebert today -- when he finds the thoughline to The Birds I just about wept at the perfection of it. 

Everybody is incredible in this movie but it really is a Toni Collette Picture when it comes down to it

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— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) August 4, 2026 at 8:41 PM

And in related news -- Velvet Goldmine is currently streaming on the Criterion Channel so I re-watched it two nights ago and good god what a movie. That's another one that I find new things with every single view. So besides watching Safe this weekend I will be spending most of my time in a prayer circle, dragging a dagger down the middle of my palm, in hopes we can get that movie a 4K from Criterion soon. I'm basically just counting the days until De Noche, Haynes' gay movie with Pedro Pascal and Danny Ramirez will come out. Please please please be next year. In summation the following randomness made me laugh for a very long time this morning:

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Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

Or should I say "Good Afternoon to Alexander Ludwig," who apparently finished his day's workout at 5:29 this morning -- for fuck's sake, man. I guess that's why he looks like that and I'm all...

Dino Fetscher Six Times

Oh my a very Happy Hump Day to us all from actor and current mustache-rider Dino Fetscher, who was generous enough to share these leathered-up and stripped-down photos via his Insta today! Hit the jump for the set...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

I almost posted these photos yesterday of Taron Egerton taking a shirtless run, but decided to save them for this morning, for extra-good good morning feels -- isn't it like blisteringly hot in the U.K. right now though? (I believe he was in London here.) I hope he's staying hydrated. If not -- Taron, I got you covered. Just ask and hydration will be yours -- all you can drink. The rest of youse, just hit the jump for the photos...

Flesh, Fantasy, and Michael Vlamis

Did you know there was a reboot of the Y2K classic series Roswell that ran for fifty-two episodes beginning in 2019? I had no freaking idea. Looking up actor Michael Vlamis here was the first I'd ever heard of it. Why was I looking up actor Michael Vlamis, you might ask? (If you're asking that you probably didn't look at these pictures though as I am but a simple man.) I was looking up Mikey boy because he's in a queer horror movie I just reviewed out of Fantasia Fest -- it's called Corpus and you can read my review right here. And here's another picture of Michael Vlamis for your trouble:

it's a good movie! But of course Michael plays the straight guy in what is otherwise a very queer movie -- I say "of course" because that just about fits my pattern. Makes sense! I mean I have no idea what he does in his private life, but in the movie he is obnoxiously heterosexual and extremely hot while doing that. (Just wait for the gifs!)  I even posted about him on Bluesky like right after watching the movie a few weeks back lol:

Watched a movie co-starring this guy named Michael Vlamis over the weekend and I don't think any of you should be surprised if I start posting about him a lot in the future is all I am saying

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— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) June 29, 2026 at 11:46 AM

Godzilla Takes New York (Film Festival)

Today will have to be a very very good day news-wise to top the news that  Godzilla Minus Zero, the new Godzilla movie from Takashi Yamazaki director of the Oscar-winning Godzilla Minus One, will be having its World Premiere at the New York Film Festival in October. And "very very good days news-wise" are rare enough beasts in 2026 that I'm just gonna go ahead and state that this is the best news of the day. The week. Hell the year probably! The news is super-sized surprising at first, but then you realize that 1) the film hits U.S. theaters on November 1st so the timing is perfect and 2) Godzilla is actually coming to NYC in the film itself, as briefly glimpsed in the very first teaser trailer which you can watch right here. I personally won't be watching any more trailers after that -- I know all I need to know, and now I've got a date for when I'll get to see it all with my Godzilla-loving eyes! NYFF is killing it this year! I haven't mentioned the other announcements that they've made so far but you can keep track of them all on their website. The big expensive passes are on sale right now but individual tickets start going on sale at the end of the month. NYFF runs from September 25th through October 12th! Roar!

Tyriq Withers Six Times

I haven't read the interview yet but our beautiful boy Tyriq Withers is one of the cover-people for Variety's new "Young Hollywood" issue and he is, as he is wont to do, looking like pretty perfection. Swoon. I hope he books some interesting projects though -- the two projects IMDb is showing ahead for him seem pretty low-key -- one of them is a romance between a tennis pro and a basketball player called Love Love? Sigh. Somebody put this stud in something I want to watch, please. Like a new trilogy of Magic Mike movies! Anyway hit the jump for the rest...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

Although none of these new photos of Theo James for Dolce & Gabbana rival any of the shots he did in nary a stitch save a wet white speedo for their frangrance brand, he's still Theo James so they're still worth staring at. I could check this but it's before noon and I don't do that -- has anyone heard anything about that George Michael movie Theo here was supposedly going to make? Did he make it already? Is it happening? I haven't heard anything and tbh Theo always seemed a little old for it... although given I know nothing of the project they could be focusing on any part of the singer's life I suppose. And I certainly won't be the one to side-eye the gift of Theo playing gay. If they wanna put him in some pigtails to de-age him, fine by me. Hit the jump for the rest...

Kelvin Harrison Jr. Seven Times

The year or so ahead for the great Kelvin Harrison Jr. looks like a big one -- he's got a role in the next Hunger Games movie, he's starring in a new biopic of Jean-Michael Basquiat (from the director of Luce!), he's in Michael Gondry's upcoming musical about Pharrell Williams life, and -- best of all to me -- he's in the new movie from the Zellner Brothers, the filmmakers behind the glorious weirdnesses of Kumiko the Treasure Hunter, Damsel, and Sasquatch Sunset! That one is called Alpha Gang...

... and it's got an over-the-top killer cast including Cate Blanchett, Dave Bautista, Doona Bae, Riley Keough, Chris Pine, Lily-Rose Depp, and Léa Seydoux, and it's described thus: "Alien invaders, in the form of a 1950's biker gang, are sent on a mission to conquer Earth." SIGN ME THE EFF UP, YO. It's playing TIFF so y'all who pay attention to what's playing TIFF probably already knew about this, but it came as news to me as I checked out Kelvin's IMDb page after remembering I had this photoshoot of him (via) sitting on my computer waiting to be posted. Which has now been accomplished! Checked one teensy thing off the ten mile long list. Hit the jump for them all... 

I Want Your Brainsss

I considered waiting a little bit for another review of mine that is dropping later this afternoon, but what the hell -- not being patient guarantees me another post today and given the case of the Murky Mondays my head's currently swimming in that's not a gift I should side-eye. And linking to two reviews in one post is already a bounty, a bouffet -- then you add on half-naked Mason Gooding and -- I feed you people well dammit. That photo is one Mason himself shared from his behind-the-scenes experience making Gregg Araki's I Want Your Sex, which my review of dropped at Pajiba on Friday. Read it right here. Surprising nobody I loved it -- do I wish that one of the many mentioned Grindr hook-ups that Mason's character kept talking about happened on-screen? Duh and durrr. Of course. But then there's a scene where Mason's in short running shorts and a half-shirt and I remember Gregg Araki always feeds us well too. 

The other review of mine that dropped over the weekend was another one out of Fantasia Fest -- click here to read my thoughts on the horror doc Black Zombie, which ingeniously speaks about the undead-genre through the lens of Haitian and American race history. It's a terrific doc about The Movies -- as I say in my review it's yet another one that throws all the money I spent on getting a Film Studies degree in college into a big fire-pit; what I probably spent an entire sememster's worth of thousands of dollars on you can now see in a compact and fun little documentary. No I am not bitter, you're bitter. Great movie though! And as I said at the top -- stay tuned, I've got another Fantasia review dropping shortly...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

True History of the Kelly Gang (2019)

Ned Kelly: My wish for you, my dearest child, is that all the coarse words and cruelty I have related in these pages seem queer and foreign to you, like some strange tale from an ancient world. But if they do not, and you, like I, have suffered from injustice at the hand of oppressors, remember that you are a Kelly, and never forget that you were mine and that you were loved. Whatever they write about me, whatever names I am given or whatever falsehoods are attributed to me, know that much is true. So go out into the world and make of it what you wish. Write your own history. For you are my future now.

A very happy birthday to Mr. Essie Davis himself, the great Aussie writer-director Justin Kurzel -- we're huge fans of his movies which have been non-stop dissections of modern masculinity and its various elaborate grotesqueries. I am ashamed to admit that I still haven't watched his Jacob Elordi series The Long Narrow Road to the North -- have any of you? I mean...

... how have I not watched this yet? Between that and Kelly Gang and Fassbender in Macbeth -- our man knows how to make men look gorgeous when he wants to, and disgusting (Snowtown, Nitram... also the Kelly Gang) also when necesarry. That should wor well if his next project ever starts filming -- I told you about Burning Rainbow Farm all the way in January 2025 but it still hasn't filmed; not sure what's up with that. It will tell the true story of a gay couple who boult a stoner utopia in Michigan in the 90s which became embroiled in a war with the government, and it was set to star Sebastian Stan and Leo Woodall. The people demand this movie happen dammit!

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

I find myself in the strange position of rooting for Aaron Pierre here's new superhero series Lanterns to succeed without actually having any desire whatsoever myself to watch it -- I guess we'll wait and see how the reviews are and/or how many times Aaron appears shirtless to make a definitive statement on that but yeah.. even if I did think the new Sipder-Man movie was pretty good (and I did) I am still plenty superhero'd out at the moment. But I love Aaron and he's overdue becoming a proper star and if anybody was created in a lab to be a superhero -- I mean, look at him. He's extraterrestrial perfection. Anyway hello and happy Monday -- these photos of Aaron are from GQ (read his chat at that link) and I've got the full beauty barrage after the jump...

Would That It Werwulf So Simple

Yesterday while I luxuriated in a full day of "Scary Movies" screenings the fine folks at Focus Features dropped the gorg new poster for Robert Eggers' Werwulf -- and star Aaron Taylor-Johnson might be far more nude than I was but he's decidedly less luxurious, twisting himself into knots one assumes mid-transformation. It is, as with all things Eggers touches, simple yet exquisite -- carving a myth down to its old-school fundamentals. That curs-ed hand in front of the moon will be giddy-making for any monster-kid, meaning that yes I have already dug around looking to see if they're selling this print yet. (No they are not.) Still plenty of time given the movie doesn't drop til Christmas -- here's the teaser trailer (full of Aaron butt!) in case you missed it. Or should I say myssed it? I have to tell you, I really had to fight the instinct not to spell everything in butchered faux-Olde-English in this post. You're welcome. 

Pic of the Day

This photo of Johnny Knoxville gleefully astride a giant pink penis "mechanical bull" ride at the L.A. premiere of Gregg Araki's wonderful new film I Want Your Sex last night -- while Araki's gives them the ol' thumbs up -- is my new favorite picture. This movie's out in theaters tonight, tonight, tonight -- our damned 14 year big-screen Araki dry spell has at last dissipated, huzzah! I've got a review of this movie coming shortly but for now luxuriate in this splendor.

OHHHH a Now Apocalypse reunion too! THE PEOPLE DEMAND SEASON 2 #meiamthepeople

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— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) July 30, 2026 at 4:39 PM

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

The Green Knight (2021)

The Lady: Why is he Green, do you think?

Gawain: The Knight?

The Lady: Yes. Was he born that way?

The Lord: Maybe it is the color of 

his blood when he blushes.

The Lady: But why green? Why not blue? Or red?

Gawain: Because he is not of this earth.

The Lady: But green is the color of the earth. 

Of living things. Of life.

Gawain: And of rot.

The Lady: Yes. We deck our halls with it, dye our linens, but should it come creeping up the cobbles, we scrub it out, fast as we can. When it blooms beneath our skin, we bleed it out. And when we, together all, find that our reach has exceeded our grasp, we cut it down, we stamp it out, we spread ourselves atop it and smother it beneath our bellies. But it comes back. It does not dally; nor does it wait to plot or conspire. Pull it out by its roots one day, and the next there it is, creeping in around the edges. Whilst we're off looking for red, in comes green. Red is the color of lust, but green is what lust leaves behind--in heart, in womb. Green is what is left when ardor fades, when passion dies, when we die, too. When you go your footprints will fill with grass; moss will cover over your tombstone. And as the sun rises, green shall spread over all, in all its shades and hues. The verdigris will overtake your swords and your coins and your battlements, and, try as you might, all you hold dear will succumb to it. Your skin, your bones. Your virtue.

Happy 5 to David Lowery's The Green Knight! 

Now there was a movie that knew how 

to turn an epic poem into a great movie.