How in the fresh Cylon hell has it been 17 years since Battlestar Galactica finished its run? It was talked about a lot here on MNPP in our early years -- especially Jamie Bamber dropping that towel, that was a very popular subject -- but to be truthful I haven't watched a minute of the show again since it finished its run. I think I watched some but not all of the short-lived spin-off Caprica? I guess that's why it was so short-lived! Anyway news has landed today that the show is hitting streaming -- this can't be for the first time, can it? -- at Paramount+ and Pluto TV on May 1st, so perhaps a re-watch is finally in order. The world inexplicably feels more dystopian than it did during the GWB presidency, which is what that show was of course riffing on -- I feel like it might have entirely new lessons to impart here in 2026. All I know is we should throw our fucking President out of the airlock, full stop.
You know as long as Aaron Taylor-Johnson doesn't want to have sex with me -- and by all accounts (to date) he does not -- then I guess it's not so bad that he's married to a woman who will take very attractive shirtless photos of her husband reasonably often and then upload them onto the internet. It could be worse -- him not wanting to have sex with me, that is. He could be with someone who (understandably) kept him all to her/himself! I would be that person. I would so totally be that person. You'd never see him again if he was mine! I guess saying things like this on the internet is probably a part of why he doesn't want to have sex with me. Alas. I must speak my truth.
Much to many of your no doubt chagrins Heated Rivalry breakout Connor Storrie has been booking roles left right and V-shaped center -- for one I believe he's already filmed his role in Beef and Shiva Baby actress Molly Gordon's upcoming comedy Peaked opposite Gordon and Emma Mackey and Laura Dern and Amy Sedaris and lots of people (it's a comedy about a high school reunion), which sounds right up my alley since every name I just listed off is heaven. But we're not here now for Peaked -- we're here because Deadline is reporting that his next movie might be a thriller called Turpentine from Compliance director slash The Penguin showrunner Craig Zobel, which already has Melissa McCarthy circling. Those two in a thriller already has me pre-thrilled! The plot, described as "following a deadbeat son who hires friends to rob his own parents to pay off a bookie with disastrous results", sounds pretty Fargo-ish to me, but Zobel makes me think it will be played straighter than the Coens did similar ingredients. But it'll be good to see McCarthy do another serious role -- I wouldn't be angry if this was just The Deep End but with Meliessa McCarthy playing the Tilda role! Although if they wanna go goofier maybe she could play her character like an older version of that roommate from Go! So many possibilities.
You know how people who are really genuinely afraid of clowns get irritated about how, some time post-It, everybody decided clowns are creepy? Maybe I just have that one territorial coulrophobe in my life, but I think there is something to people being suggestively brainwashed into thinking they find something scary after enough repetition or reinforcement, and I say this from experience because I am pretty certain I never used to have Trypophobia (otherwise known as a fear of clusters of holes or bumps in irregular patterns). I don't remember this being a thing in my life anyway, not until I'd heard about it being a thing thanks to the internet -- then suddenly I felt myself becoming convinced it's true, that it's fucking digusting to look at clusters of holes or bumps in irregular patterns. Anyway that's the reason you're looking at the above poster for the movie Ghost in the Cell and not the official poster that's on its IMDb page, which makes me want to never stop barfing. If I couldn't stop barfing then I wouldn't be able to continue typing, and then you'd never have had read all of that blather -- and wouldn't we all be so much worse off that way? I thought so.
Anyway I thought I'd posted about this news but I guess I just did it on social media (which happens more than it ought to) -- Joko Anwar, the modern maestro of Indonesian horror behind films like Impetigore,Satan's Slaves, Satans Slaves 2: Communion, and the upcoming Satan's Slaves 3: Origin (and that's new news of its own), has a horror movie out in theaters in Indonesia right this minute! It is indeed called Ghost in the Cell and it's about a -- god I have done this gag so many times -- you guessed it! A ghost, it's in a cell. It's a horrible specter, a ghoul, a poltergeist, and it's inside a prison, a jail, a penitentiary. Use any of those words and you too can have a movie title. Seriously though I love love love what Anwar's been cooking over the past decade -- he would wield Trypophobia for his poster, since that's so perfectly in sync with how good his movies have been at poking me in uncomfortable places. Remember the dude eating a fistful of furry caterpillars in his script for The Queen of Black Magic? I sure fucking do ughhh. There's a sweaty tactility to his movies that really worms around in your flesh, so I can't wait for a new movie from him!
Unfortunately that's exactly what we'll be doing since who the hell knows when Ghost in the Cell is getting a U.S. release. Anwar's enough of an international name now (he had that creepy crawly anthology series on Netflix, after all) that I know this will come here at some point, probably via Shudder or IFC or one of the small horror-tinged studios of a similar sort. It seems a safe bet. Just when remains unclear, but believe you me I'll be all up on that business when we know it. And -- if I'm not barfing -- I will share said news with you then. Here's the trailer:
The last time I posted about actor Fra Fee -- who could be seen getting naked all over Leo Woodall in the Apple series Prime Target -- I found out that he's an out and proud 'mo a la me (and perhaps you) and I vowed then and there that I'd make myself a big ol' cheerleader for all things Fra Fee related. Well now just a couple months later he's coming at us looking tres sexy in a shoot for Numero magazine as his new Netflix series called Unchosen (about cults and co-stars Asa Butterfield and Christopher Eccleston) premieres literally today so I am here, also, proving myself a man of my word. Take note, Fra! I am here for you. Hit the jumpfor the full photoshoot...
Neon just dropped the above... poster...s... for the upcoming gay horror film Leviticus -- since it's a gif of two images I'm not sure what to call it. I've seen the phrase "motion poster" before so I suppose that fits. Anyway they're both great images, and supposedly we're getting a trailer tomorrow (the movie is out on June 19th) but, unlike the trailer for the new Evil Dead movie that I just posted, I doubt I will share the one for Leviticus. Because I've seen Leviticus -- I posted about it about a month ago, that it was playing the "New Directors" fest here in NYC -- and I am one hundred percent certain y'all should go into this movie as cold as possible, like I did. I've really been wanting to write up my thoughts on the film, which are myriad and emotional, but I've hesitated for a couple of factors.
One is that I'm not sure I can write about it without talking about everything going on with it, but honestly that's not been the main issue. The other is that, and I don't think this will surprise any of you who've been here lately, I've really had some writer's block bogging me down over the past several months. I've felt like it's had to be super obvious to any of you visiting -- I've really been operating on auto-pilot lately, and I need to get myself out of this funk. Especially if I'm going to write about a movie like Leviticus, which moved me in some profound and extremely personal ways. So if anybody has any words of encouragement I wouldn't hate to hear them, is what I'm saying -- the thing is that I'm hardly alone in feeling broken by the world these days, and I guess that's what's sort of kept me clammed up about it. It's been very much the preacher's funeral sermon in Synechdoche New York -- "Maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery because they have their own." It all feels redundant and obvious and in turn pointless and it cycles, and cycles. Hopefully I can dig myself out of this grave and do better! Understatement! Anyway here's some video I took of Leviticus director Adrian Chiarella introducing the movie at MoMA a couple of weeks back; he really speaks beautifully:
That there is the first teaser trailer for the next Evil Dead movie, titled Evil Dead Burn, and unlike what I normally say about horror movie trailers I think it's perfectly fine to watch this one! It's about a minute of footage from the movie, a single unbroken take that shows very little except the expected chaos of any Evil Dead movie. But I think it gives you a good feel for what French director Sébastien Vanicek will be rbinging to the typical Deadite-inflected proceedings -- I was a huge fan of his 2023 spider-horror flick Infested, which is in itself kinda extraordinary because I fucking hate spiders, they terrify me, and I usually can't bring myself to seek out horror movies about spiders. And yet! Even I, through my fingers, couldn't deny the fun and power of Infested. (And speaking of I will now renew my plea for a physical media release of it. Come on, Shudder!) Anyway Evil Dead Burn is out on July 11th and below (via) is the plot description, which does fill in some gap points of reference for the clip above:
"Evil Dead Burn unleashes the franchise’s most savage and terrifying ride to date, blazing onto big screens with an all-new chapter of carnage and demonic mayhem. After the loss of her husband, a woman seeks solace with her in-laws in their secluded family home. As one by one they are transformed into Deadites—turning the gathering into a family reunion from hell—she comes to discover that the vows she took in life… live on even in death."
Any fans of the show I Love L.A. here on this site? I was an immediate adopter of Rachel Sennott with the great Shiva Baby in 2020 (followed by the also great Bodies Bodies Bodies in 2022 and the super great Bottoms in 2023) which makes it very weird that I haven't gotten to the show yet -- I think the first reviews I saw were dismissive and I decided I didn't want to see her suck so I stayed away just in case. But since then I've gotten the impression that maybe that initial impression had been incorrect. So I ask you, the people, my people, what you think. If I can't trust you then I might as well climb into that bath with Josh Hutcherson and drop a toaster on us both!
I don't know why I need to take Josh Hutcherson with me in this secnario -- I guess it's just that if I'm gonna go, I might as well go with a smile on my face. Is this too much murder-suicide talk this early in the morning? (Is there ever too much?) Anyway Josh is also on that show, hence why we're here. Well okay these pictures for GQ are "why" we're here -- the show is the reason he's in GQ. That's some real spider-ate-the-fly bullshit huh? Hit the jump for the rest of the photos...
I took Austin's gratuitous bait last week, I might as well take it this week too -- especially since this time's even more gratuitous. Plus (more importantly) it's a Monday and I am feeling even more lazy. Tired? Lazy. Whatever. Austin Nichols took his clothes off for us and posted a video of it online and we're nowhere close to being above cheaply bought off in such a manner. If only all actors were as easy as I am. We am. We are. I need to go stare at the sea y'all.
he hauls off. He hauls off! He beats the living shit
outta you! So, really interesting guy, overall.
Ben Brandt: That was a brilliant analysis.
Sam, throw these dum-dums overboard.
You know I chose this passage of dialogue from the Road House remake just to post these gifs of Billy Magnusson in a speedo -- you know it, I know it, Billy knows it, the aliens a billion light years from Earth know it, so let's just move on. Because it's Billy's birthday! Our beautiful blond Billy boy is turning 41 today and we wish him a great one. I imagine he is having one of those anyway since well he's Billy Magnussen, look at him. But also his new series The Audacity has, from what I can tell, gotten very good notices -- I haven't started it yet but it's very much on the list. Any of you watch it yet?
When I saw Our Hero, Balthazarat Tribeca last year I was kinda annoyed that Noah Centineo kept that shirt on during the scene pictured above -- it really got in the way of the things I wanted to see, Noah! That said when this set photo presented itself a few days ago (thx Mac) I felt much more forgiving. And here we are. OHB hit theaters a few weeks ago and I believe it's still playing in some and not out on VOD yet -- I honestly wasn't all that crazy about it when I saw it but perhaps you'll dig it. Who knows? Opinions are like Noah Centineo's asshole -- if you wear a long shirt over them nobody will get to see them! Anyway even if the movie's not out on VOD you can find this scene on the internet, in places (ahem) -- I am going to wait until it hits VOD officially to make gifs. Blah blah blah happy Monday. Another fucking week to get through. Let's get to it, then.
How dumb am I (full stop) to've thought that we'd seen the last of the Charles Melton in Men's Health photos after I'd spent half the past week posting, you know, literally hundreds of them. When I posted that hot one yesterday I really thought that'd be that since Beef was now out on Netflix. (Have you watched any? Can we talk about the coyote scene yet???) Thankfully I am the stupidest peron who has ever lived or will ever live, and three more photos have come via MH's Instagram in the past day or so. So now I'm gonna be smart and say this won't be it -- I'm gonna guesstimate that they're holding on to five thousand more photos to share, and that'll prove my smarts! I'll show you! Okay go watch Beef so we can talk about the coyote scene, the end. Oh and hit the jump for the rest of these pictures as well I suppose...
"I too quit smoking (2013) AND find this type of pictures cool. Also, PSA: if you're feeling like you want to start smoking again, just remind yourself "I do not want my body and house to stink like stale horseshit", then go drink one more glass of water to entertain your hands and lips. Congrats, btw."
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