Do Dump or Marry: The Running Men

I'm not being show-offy when I tell you that I'm leaving the MNPP HQ desk early this evening so I can run off (get it) to see Edgar Wright's The Running Man remake (now you do) -- I am merely stating a fact, a statement of truth. This is just what is going to happen. I know how crushed this makes you many Schwarzenegger-heads and I apologize. Y'all can see it Friday! If we make it to Friday. Who knows. We all might be performing in life-or-death game shows by then the way things are going. But until then let's play a life-or-death game of our own by "Do Dump or Marry"ing the three hunks at the heart of Wright's re-do who stunned on the red carpet premiere as seen in these photos -- that'd be Colman Domingo, Lee Pace, Lee Pace's Mustache, and Glen Powell. Now [in my best Richard Dawson voice]  RUN... to the comments and choose! (pics via)

Everybody Wants to F*ck Taron Egerton

If ever there was a movie that Taron Egerton was meant to star in it's a movie titled Everybody Wants to F*ck Me, and here we are -- that's the first image of him in the now-filming film from newcomer director Jonathan Schey, who is at this point mainly known for directing a series called Ladhood in the UK which I heard about but never saw any of. Anybody seen it? Anyway EWTFM is described as a "razor-sharp wild and original dark comedy thriller" (via) but other than that -- and the fact that it co-stars Jessica Henwick as well as Worst Person in the World's surprisingly sexy Herbert Nordrum -- there's not much info out there that I can find. If I were to make a wild guess I'd land on that episode of Buffy where Xander gets love-potioned and it becomes a hyper-horned-up melee, but that's a shot in the horny dark honestly. I'm a little annoyed that we're only seeing ladies check him out in the full photo -- somebody photoshop me in there doing that famous head-turn meme because that's the true truth.

Well Hello Marty Supreme

I approve of the slutty new Marty Supreme poster. 

Also I guess there's a new trailer tomorrow.

I'm seeing this next week! Huzzah!

Jonathan Bailey Thirteen Times

The "Sexiest Man Alive" is back at it! Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the internet without Jonathan Bailey smacking you upside the face with his hotness and crippling your ability to think about anything else -- wham! A new Esquire magazine cover-story and photo-shoot. And, fashion-wise, who so ever though up mixing his Bridgerton pomp with his modern gay stud circumstance deserves a gold star because while I don't think anybody should wear many of these outfits in the real world as a fetish spectacle they're really hitting the spot. But then Jonny always knows how to take things just that extra bit -- the placement of his hand under his thigh up above? The tiniest hint of cum-gutter flashed below? Chef's kisses. This is why our man keeps winning. Hit the jump for the shoot...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Oh Wait! More Oscar Isaac Good Morning!

Sigh -- of course literally five seconds after I dropped this morning's "Oscar Isaac naked in Frankenstein" gif-pile do I see that Oscar's on the cover of the latest issue of GQ too, flashing pit (onto the pit thread we go) and looking hot as fuck, which would've been useful information to have for that post. Oh well -- two "Oscar Isaac is a sexy fucker" posts in a row -- there are worse fates to have! Worse ways to greet a Monday after several days off. Hit the jump for the rest of the photos...

Good Morning, Monsters

Hello and happy Monday -- your wayward host has indeed returned and he's brought with him several gifs of a butt-naked Oscar Isaac in Guillermo Del Toro's Frankenstein to smooth the process along -- and while we're at it, what is it with Guillermo and hot dudes barely visible junk floating in bathtubs anyway? It's a very specific thing to have pop up in two (live-action) movies in a row, right? (I added the "live-action" because as far as I recall I don't remember Gepetto getting his gray balls out to take a soak in Pinocchio but it's possible I blocked that out.)

Anyway Frankenstein dropped on Netflix over the weekend so I assume most of you have now seen it if you weren't near one of the theaters where it was shwoing, so please -- offer me your opinions! I liked not loved it -- Jacob Elordi is terrific, it looks great, it sounds great, but there was just something missing... some spark of life, if you'll allow me that indulgence. Maybe if Mia Goth had gotten more to do I'd have been bigger on it? Anyway it's not every movie where Oscar Isaacs gets his pubes out (more like "every other" at this point, blessed man) so hit the jump for the steamy collection of gifs I assembled...

Makin' Like Rob And Twinklin' Away

I keep forgetting to mention to you fine readers that I'm taking a brief vacation this week to detox my extremely toxic brain, and I'll be off for the rest of the week starting tomorrow. Me and the boyfriend are headed to the middle of nowhere to stare at some trees or whatever. Much needed! Anyway that means I won't be here to review Lynne Ramsay's new movie Die My Love, out on Friday, so here are a pair of Robert Pattinson photos to make up for that. And since I'm not reviewing it the most I'm going to share is that he and Jennifer Lawrence are sure naked in the movie a lot. I think that will help y'all make up your minds just fine. See you next week!

Joel Edgerton Twelve Times

The Sundance sensation Train Dreams (which I quite liked -- especially its killer score from The National band-member Bryce Dessner) is hitting some screens this weekend and so we're getting lavished with photo-shoots of the film's star (and possible / deserved Best Actor nominee) Joel Edgerton wearing some of the most coveted-by-me clothes I've seen in a men's fashion layout in ages...

... I love love love so much of what he's wearing in this shoot for Palm Springs Life magazine. I would wear 90% of this stuff. (That yellow jacket above -- actually every piece of that outfit -- is especially making me swoon.) As for Joel obviously yes please yes but I do kind of wish he could land bigger magazine covers than Palm Springs Life. But it's not my job to make that happen! At least they gave us a shit-ton of photos. All of which I will share with you now after the jump...

Finally Queer in My Hands!

It's sexy boy Drew Starkey's birthday today, the fact of which knocked off a series of comments and clicks by your truly leading me to yesterday's tweet semi-announcement from Sony Music Soundtrack's socials that Trent Reznor & Atticus' Ross' criminally under-appreciated score for Luca Guadagnino's film Queer will really for real be getting a vinyl release! Huzzah! All the info we have thus far are these two cropped images -- presumably from the vinyl's sleeve -- and the small sum-total of what they said, which was "no use fighting it. QUEER vinyl news coming this week 👀" Not sure if this means it will be coming via Sony, or Milan Records (who released the Challengers score), or the Nine Inch Nails website, or A24's own shop -- it could be any or several or all of these locations! But as surely as I'll google gifs of Daniel Craig and Drew Starkey making out at least once a week I'll surely say something more about this news once we have more about this news to say. 

ETA of course five minutes after I write up this post they go and announce more news and pictures from the vinyl -- it still doesn't say where we'll be able to buy it but Sony says the Queer soundtrack is finally going on pre-sale on this Thursday, November 6th. You can see a few more photos on Instagram.  

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Sinners (2025)

Remmick: Long ago... the men who stole my father's land forced these words upon us. I hated those men, but the words still bring me comfort. Those men lied to themselves and lied to us. They told stories of a God above and a Devil below. And lies of a dominion of man over beast and Earth. We are earth and beast, and god. We are woman and man. We are connected, you and I - to everything. You will taste the sweet pain of death. We will make beautiful music together.

I'm seeing this movie on IMAX again tonight!

So it's on my mind. Anybody rewatched it lately?

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Pics of the Day

Looks like there's some sexy Y Tu Mama shit going down on the second season of The Night Manager, if these just dropped photos via Vanity Fair are anything to go by. That's the series' lead Tom Hiddleston on the left with actress Camila Morrone in the center and our boy Diego Calva on the right, and do note how he's getting a little manhandled by Tommy. You can see Diego clearer in the photo below. Any fans of the first series of this show? I liked it a lot but I will probably have to go back and re-watch it, I remember very little except for Tom Hollander trying to eat Tom Hiddleston's dick inside a restaurant. You don't forget that sorta thing.

Good Morning, Sexiest Man Alive

I was laying in bed last night seconds away from turning off my phone and falling asleep when this "Jonathan Bailey is the Sexiest Man Alive!" news broke and I almost leapt out of bed, woke up my partner, and did a jig -- okay listen I was deep into my Ambien and I wasn't thinking like a normal person so yes, a little embarassing. But still! This is something! An out gay man just finagled the title of People magazine's annual ""Sexiest Man Alive" for the first time! And he made sure to take pictures for the spread that...

... would remind everyone of that fact! And I know that this is a silly meaningless title and I know it has to do with whose publicist is working the hardest and who's got the biggest PR push behind them for upcoming projects blah blah blah. I don't care this morning. And I didn't care last night when I posted to Bluesky about it (before anyone else I might add -- where's my magazine cover?) 

I no longer have to feel that annoying little poke in the brain that I do every year when this comes around that, "Well they'll never pick a gay guy." It was there every single year and now it's one infintesimal annoyance I don't have to deal with in a world bursting with them. I will take any such respites that I can get so I can have all my energies for actually important things. And yes I am gonna go find and buy an issue of this on the newsstand (if I can find a "newsstand with magazines" in 2025 that is) and I recommend every else do the same. Let's make this their highest selling issue! With this photo-spread they're making it fucking easy, believe me. Hit the jump for the ridiculously sexy (for once) photos...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974)

Alice: I saw the "Waitress Wanted" sign. 

I said, "Why not?" So I took this job.

Flo: Well let me give you a hint.
Honey, unbutton that top button.

Alice: Really?

Flo: Yeah. If you bend over you get
more tips when you're working.

Alice: You're kidding me.

Flo: I'm not kidding. I got $50 last week.

Alice: Really?

Flo: Yeah.

Alice: Like that?

Flo: Yeah. Honey, forget what I said. 

You do that and I'm never going to get a tip again.

Terrible awful news to hear that Diane Ladd passed away today -- her daughter Laura Dern (maybe you've heard of her) released a statement saying "My amazing hero and my profound gift of a mother passed with me beside her this morning at her home in Ojai, California. She was the greatest daughter, mother, grandmother, actress, artist and empathetic spirit that only dreams could have seemingly created. We were blessed to have her. She is flying with her angels now.” I'm just going to assume that last line is a reference to Ladd's iconic role as Marietta in Wild At Heart where she recreates the Wicked Witch's broomstick flight:

I actually almost quoted that role for this post, but then I decided quoting her role as Dern's mother Helen on Mike's White's series Enlightened would be even better but I couldn't find a transcript of the script for that show's legendary episode all about Helen -- one of the great episodes of T.V. period, the end. She was so good on that show. Goddamn Enlightened was a masterpiece ahead of its time. 

Anyway from there that brought me to her lovely and hysterically funny performance in Martin Scorsese's great Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore. I grew up watching the spin-off T.V. series Alice, my mom loved it, so I never saw Scorsese's film until I was an adult -- seeing Ladd's take on the grits-kissing role that Polly Holliday (who passed away earlier this year, marking a real bad year for Flos) had burned into my little brain was a surprise and a joy. She's wonderful in it. Anyway I kind of can't believe she passed away before Bruce Dern did (not to jinx anything -- sorry, Laura!) since Bruce has seemed so frail for so long, and so this came as a real surprise to me today. Rest in peace, icon.

 

The Scream King Cometh

After years upon years of bouncing about in horror flicks, from the ace Strange Darling recently all the way back to that time Faux Freddy Krueger menaced him in a red speedo in the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, actor Kyle Gallner has gone and written one of his own! It's called Man Vs. and it's a Gold Rush era survival thriller about a miner who gets betrayed and left to die in the Rockies during winter and must, you know, survive. Hence the term "survival thriller." One of the Radio Silence guys (Justin Martinez to be specific) is set to direct the movie -- and Kyle will of course star. As he well should! We love a period horror film, we love movies about grizzly bears hunting people, we love Kyle Gallner -- all we need to know now is when we can buy our ticket. Okay also will there be any skinny-dipping in mountain streams -- if you haven't written that scene yet Kyle I recommend you scribble one down quick. Something like, "And then he goes skinny-dipping in a mountain stream." See? Easy. Can I have a co-wirter credit?

Kyle Gallner’s eyes totally follow you in this photo pic.twitter.com/nSlO0BAuOR

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) September 20, 2024

Garrett Wareing Three Times

Three outtakes from The Long Walk actor and fave new fur twink Garrett Wareing's previously posted photoshoot for Numero Netherlands have been unloaded upon our faces today (via). I don't think I mentioned on here that I finally caught The Long Walk when it hit streaming after missing it in theaters (although I did share a few words on Letterboxd) and... I did not like it. It didn't work for me at all. Although I will say this for it -- this was my first time seeing Garrett here act and I actually thought he was good in it. I'd been assuming he was just a pretty boy hot piece but he held his own. So he's a pretty boy hot piece who can also act! Will wonders never et cetera. Hit the jump for the other two photos... 

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... cradled tight between Henry Golding's calves.

(via)

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

A good Monday morning from Paul Mescal and from me and from Oliver Hermanus' gorgeous film The History of Sound, which landed on Mubi over the weekend -- did you watch it? I hope you caught it in theaters if you were able to (picture the above shot twenty feet tall and you'll understand why I swooned in my review) but streaming is second-best (or you can now pre-order the blu-ray too!) so I hope you did. If not -- get to it! Look at that shot! That shot is in the running for shot of the year as far as I'm concerned. I do think the shot is even more beautiful in its full framing and not cropped to highlight just the sweet stuff though -- not to mention there is more to this scene worth giffing -- so I've got all of that gorgeousness for you after the jump...