Grunts Be Gruntin'

I briefly mentioned this earlier this week but I have yet another dentist appointment this afternoon, and so depending on how that goes this might be it for this here Friday. But since we've been posting photos of the Warfare cast of one thousand hotties every day this week I didn't want to let this day go without one, so there's a set photo of Noah Centineo and his grunt's mustache making me grunt in return. Semper f-word, Noah!

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

An itty bitty gift to us Charlie Cox lovers on this week's episode of Daredevil Reborn -- itty bitty indeed since we barely see Charlie from the shoulders down. But why show a beautiful man undressed when you can luxuriate in extremely gory fight scenes instead? And being a lover of gore I normally wouldn't bring up that old (but not baseless!) "Sex vs Violence in American Entertainment" argument, but since this is Disney we're talking about now (instead of Daredevil's old home of Netflix) and they seem to've embraced Daredevil's violence to a surprisingly notable degree, I do feel this warrants a mention. 

Not that there isn't real heat between Charlie and Margarita Levieva when she sneaks into this shower with him moments after these gifs. The two actors have pretty scorching chemistry. Let's just be honest -- I just wanna see Charlie's butt dammit. I don't think that's too much to ask when I'm also being treated to a serial killer's lair where a bunch of dead women's bodies are hanging from meat hooks. Remind us what we're fighting for! All of the good in the world! In this instance represented by Charlie Cox's butt! Okay I'll step down off my soapbox. Unless you need some extra lather, Charlie...

Kit Connor Sixteen Times

Our impatience has been rewarded! Yesterday when I posted the new photoshoot of Kit Connor's Warfare co-star Will Poulter I bitched and moaned about my impatience waiting for Kit's turn... and here it is! He's been photographed for Flaunt magazine and they did a bang-up sexy-ass job -- and this finally earns Kit a tag here on the site. Good boy! But you don't wanna listen to me ramble so I will now shut up and we can all just hit the jump for all the pretty boy snaps...

Hell of a Summer in 150 Words or Less

May the devil bless Fred Hechinger because he's the only one making anything land in Hell of a Summer, the "Scream at a summer camp" riff that was written and directed by (and co-stars) Strangers Things actor Finn Wolfhard and his Ghostbusters buddy Billy Bryk. The best choice those boys made was giving Hechinger their lead role as a past-his-expiration-date camp counselor who loves the gig too much to let go -- even as the movie flails around him, neither funny enough to be comic nor scary enough to be horror, Hechinger is at least never not charming and goofy and worth following as he makes bad dialogue feel okay enough to pass. Otherwise this is a lazy lazy lazy movie that offers up nothing new or interesting in its under ninety minutes -- one gets the feeling nobody wanted to tell Wolfhard no, so I will say it. No.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Sightseers (2012) 

Carol: You didn't let him see you do 

number twos, did you Tina?

Tina: Never!

Carol: Mystery, Tina, is a woman's sanctuary.

A happy birthday to the brilliant and funny Alice Lowe -- her performances in Edgar Wright's Hot Fuzz and in Ben Wheatley's Sightseers were what initially endeared her to me but then when I saw her second directorial effort Prevenge was when I really fell in love -- in a weird coincidence I finally watched her latest movie Timestalker this past weekend after sitting on it for months and  laughed my fool ass off; you can rent it right here. I'll share the trailer below. She is a delight! Love her.

Pic of the Day

White Lotus three-timer Jon Gries (dude pictured in the middle above who plays Greg / Gary) seems to've had the best time out of anybody on the seven month long shoot in Thailand -- his Instagram has been a non-stop beefcake-fest. But the above photo of him sandwiched between his co-stars Patrick Schwarzenegger and Arnas Fedaravičius really takes the cake. Cakes, even! Lucky man. See a few more below:

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, Koch Bros

How deeply and profoundly odd that I haven't posted any of this Behind the Blinds photoshoot (via) of actor Cooper Koch and his desperately hot twin brother Payton here on MNPP yet -- I've been aware of this shoot for weeks and have gone full Cathy with the "sweatdrop sweatdrop sweatdrop" over it but never dropped any of the photos here? I'm drunk. Anyway here they are, the ones I could gather up; hit the jump for a good goose of brotherly love...

Will Poulter Eleven Times

As has been mentioned a couple of times this week already the next nine days or so will no doubt belong to the boys of Warfare photoshoot-wise, and today it seems to be Will Poulter's turn as Man About Town magazine has just dropped these pictures via their Instagram. Will looks hot (arms!), we love us some Will as you well know, but I gotta be honest and admit...

... I'm getting kinda frustrated impatiently waiting for Flaunt magazine to drop their new and extremely sexy looking Kit Connor photoshoot, which lo-fi snaps of have leaked onto social media. Look at that shit! I keep checking basically every hour, for naught -- anyway stay tuned. Warfare is out until next Friday so one of these days we'll get it! For now enjoy Will after the jump...

Who Wore It Best?

Crowded field for birthdays of perennial beefcake today -- we already wished Michael Fassbender a happy one this morning but we had other options, given both Chris Meloni and Pedro Pascal slid out their mommas on an April 2nd (the former in 1961 and the latter in 1975). Finding a commonality between these two proved difficult -- I was hoping I'd find pictures of Pedro in a half-shirt or a skirt to go up against photos of Meloni's memorable turns in both of those but they weren't to be. But both have been photographed multiple times wearing white tank-tops -- and as an aside I do understand why we can't use the term "wifebeater" any more for obvious reasons but I do miss its brevity -- so we'll go with that butch-bitch staple. (Butch Bitch is okay, right? Whatever.) Have at it!

online polls

Hug It Out For A Not Half Day

I was just about to tell y'all that it was going to be a half day here at MNPP because I thought I had a press screening of the upcoming queer flick On Swift Horses starring Jacob Elordi, Will Poulter, and Diego Calva to head to -- watch the trailer here -- but I fucked up my calendar and the screening was actually this morning! Damn damn damn. I am so daft. Anyway I'll probably be able to sneak into another press screening soon so it's not the absolute end of the world, but I was really looking forward to running free and gay for an afternoon -- sigh. Come comfort me with a hug and our pant-fronts pressed tightly together, Jacob Elordi. Anyway I am seeing Andrew Scott live on stage doing Vanya tonight thanks to a generous friend so at least I do have some proximity to gayness on tap -- I need my fix or I'll turn blue, I tells ya.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Batman Forever (1995)

Robin: Holey rusted metal, Batman!

Batman: Huh?

Robin: The ground, it's all metal. 

It's full of holes. You know, holey. 

Batman: Oh.

Yes I do indeed maintain that the two Joel Schumacher Batman movies are brilliant in their embrace of camp entertainment -- I'm slightly partial to the Batman & Robin (although Clooney is lousy) but they're both such dumb fun and they really should be appreciated as such. Set aside your fears! Straight dudes especially can't seem to get them. Anyway that said, onto the sad reason we're here --  RIP to Val Kilmer. I wasn't ever that huge a fan of him but he certainly was a large and oft formative part of my childhood, gifting us with the volleyball and locker-room scenes in Top Gun, his leather pants in The Doors...

... and of course, the pièce de résistance, Willow. (I should actually send a text to one of my oldest best friends in the world and see how she's doing, as she's the world's biggest Willow fan.) Val was never really my bag but his moving scene in Maverick and the 2021 doc on him both endeared him to me more than he'd been at the height of his career, so I'm at least glad he's not in pain anymore. If you were a fan tell me about it in the comments!

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

A happy-ish birthday to Michael Fassbender on this the morning of him turning 48 -- oh I'm sure it's perfectly happy for him now that he's made a nice little comeback at last thanks to Steven Soderbergh's movie Black Bag totally rocking (here is my review and PS that movie hit VOD this week so go watch it if you missed it, it is super) and his series The Agency also doing well as far as I can tell. (I was a little bored by that one but he was good and more importantly looked great). I say "happy-ish" for my own reasons -- namely there are like ten workers in my office replacing and cleaning windows right this minute and alongside all of their hammering half the windows are open and it's in the 30s this morning so I am both cold and irritable. Good morning!

Fred Hechinger Ten Times

I'm off to see the new Fred Hechinger picture tonight -- that'd be the forthcoming slasher-comedy Hell of a Summer and you can watch the trailer here -- and so this provides us with a fine opportunity to share these two photoshoots of him (via and via) that've been burning a hole in my Pants for too long. The unspoken business here being that these were both from around the time Gladiator II came out and I was so offended by the homophobia of that movie, with regards to Fred & Joseph Quinn's characters in particular, that I had to avert my eyes for a moment. But Fred still has some goodwill saved up thanks to The White Lotus and Thelma and Fear Street movies so twas inevitable, our swing back his fuzzy, adorkable way. Let's hope tonight's movie doesn't feature too much sissy-phying then! Hit the jump for the rest...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... doing "press" with the Warfare cast.

As I said yesterday when I posted more of Noah Centineo's most recent photoshoot the press push for Alex Garland's upcoming war film with a cast of ten thousand hotties has lots of possibility, and I ain't just dreaming -- this is real, this is really happening! 

The guys seem to've been feeling especially frisky while talking to EW for this cover-shoot. At this rate, with nine days to still go until the movie's release, they'll be frotting by Monday. Huzzah!

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Do Dump or Marry: The New Beatles

Last night at CinemaCon Sam Mendes unveiled the four actors he's cast to play The Beatles in four yes four seperate movies, each one focusing on a single member -- there's Joseph Quinn as George Harrison, Barry Keoghan as Ringo Starr, Harris Dickinson as John Lennon, and Paul Mescal as Paul McCartney. Love all these actors -- you'll see Quinn in Warfare soon enough but that was when I finally decided I am a fan of him -- but as I've probably said on this site a few times over the past twenty years I just do not give a shit about The Beatles. And I don't say that to posture myself as Too Cool or above anything; I recognize that they were an earthquake in music and they have some perfectly good songs but JFC I cannot be bothered. Put their music catalogue or Radiohead's in front of me and I think you can guess where I'll wander. Anyway this will probably turn out to be an interesting expiriment -- telling their story from each point of view -- so if for no other reason we'll be watching. But for right now I invite you to "Do Dump or Marry" these four actors (and as always when there's four feel free to double up on one of those choices) in the comments! (And "Do" = spend one night with; "Dump" = spend zero nights with, and "Marry" equals "spend all the nights with" of course.)

Good Morning, World

Good morning from the Ratliff boys coming to you from the 

shores of sunny Thailand! Nothing but a positive outlook for them! 

So... who do you think dies?