Make Like Ryan Phillippe And Blow

I'm not going to link to all of the posts I did a decade-plus ago whining about how badly I wanted the rumored Director's Cut of writer-director Mark Christopher's 1998 film about the whole Studio 54 thing titled 54 to happen, and then the news that it was happening circa 2015, and then how it happened -- needless to say my reactions were all very close to what's happening on Ryan Phillippe's face here in these gifs. I was excited! But then I don't know what happened -- a fucking decade happened and here it is 2026 and I never got around to watching the Director's Cut even though I owned the blu-ray of it. 

Shiny things! I moved on to the next shiny thing to whine and whinny about. Anyway this realization hit me yesterday when the fine folks at Vinegar Syndrome announced they're releasing a fancy deluxe 4K edition of the out-of-print Director's Cut (also including the original Theatrical Cut) -- you can pre-order that right here as I did, with a firm promise to myself and all you people in the world who frankly couldn't give a shit that I will watch it this time, I swear it. Oh and this post, while informational, is also out of self-interest -- I have now listed my unwatched blu-ray of the Director's Cut of this movie over on eBay for sale, if anybody wants to snatch that up. I actually added a lot onto eBay in the past week or so, so check that out and buy my shit, please. I am drowning in things! Ryan knows how I feel. Right, Ryan?

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... bucking between Miguel Ángel Silvestre's thighs. 

Lucky goddamned horse. (via)

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

Look at Alexander Ludwig shirtless in the mountains! Living the dream! Okay I'm not sure if it's his dream or my dream -- can we share it? Please? He was posting from one of my favorite vacation spots (the Dolemites in Northern Italy) so I think we should share it. (via) 

Whatcha Got Down There, Jake?

Heads up -- or rather heads down, like Jake there -- I've got multiple screenings tomorrow so I'm taking the day off. Both are movies that are not out yet -- one is a rewatch of something I've already seen and the other is one of my most anticipated movies of the year. If you follow me on Letterboxd this will be easy to figure out since I will log them (but not review them) when I watch them tomorrow. But anyway that is where I will be. Still if you need something more you can point your head downward like Jake there and you'll see there's plenty of shit to read below. Emphasis on shit obviously. Or just stare at the way that sweaty t-shirt clings to Jake -- whatever. It's not my business. See you Wednesday!

It Puts the Lotion on Its Skin

One of my favorite movies from this year's Sundance is hitting some theaters this upcoming weekend and I'm just now realizing I have not shared this information yet! The movie's called Night Nurse and it's a perverse little psycho-sexual thriller that feels like it's floating in a ketamine daze -- right up my alley then. I called it "deliciousness for sickos" in my review and as a self-proclaimed sicko myself (I'm not just the President, but I'm also a member) I think you should take my word. The movie's about a charismatic older gentleman in a retirement community who causes the nurses to fall under his predatory spell, and one in particular who goes right off the deep end -- anyway I don't think you should know much more about it but the trailer is below if you're so inclined. It's only hitting a couple of theaters in NYC and LA this weekend but click here and you can see if/when it will spread from there. That said it's a very small movie without any recognizable names so my guess is this'll be on VOD before you can say "rectal thermometer" ten times fast. Seek it out!

Josh Rivera Five Times

I missed the first batch of these Josh Rivera photos when they dropped with the interview at Cero magazine back in June, but thankfully the photographer also shared a couple of outtakes (the first two photos you see here) and those, for obvious reasons, caught my eye. How do photos like this become outtakes? Bad decision, Cero magazine! Bad decision. Anyway as hot as Josh was in Spielberg's West Side Story remake (watching that movie I could not fathom why Maria was ditching him for bland-ass Tony as played by Ansel) Josh really upped the heat next level for his role as Rocky in The Rocky Horror Picture Show opposite Luke Evans on Broadway which... well, I suppose anyone would work out a lot if one was going to play that half-naked sex-god role. I don't say this much but -- thank you, Broadway. Hit the jump for the rest...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Sin City:A Dame to Kill For (2014)

Ava: What does it feel like? Dwight: What?

Ava: Murdering an innocent man. 

Just wanna know what it felt like. Must have been beautiful.

Dwight: What are you talking about innocence?

Ava: I knew I could count on you. 

Sex always made you stupid, ready to believe anything.

A happy birthday to our beloved Eva Green, who is hopefully recovering well and with no pain whatsoever after beingn injured on the set of the next season of Wednesday last week -- latest reports say thankfully no bones were broken when she fell off a horse while filming a scene and my god, the things actors go through for us. Anyway as middling as I have found Wednesday the show to be so far I will absolutely be tuning in now that Eva's joined the cast. She's one of those actresses that has never not eleveated whatever shit she's gracing with her presence -- which isn't to say she's made a lot of shit, but when she does she's always the best thing about it. Did any of you see the two French Three Musketeers movies that came out recently? I finally got around to them a couple of months ago and they were legitimately terrific and absolutely did right by her. She's somehow still so damn underappreciated! We here at MNPP HQ are huge fans who'll follow her anywhere. A queen. Feel better, queen!

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

There, a little get up and go for your 

Monday morning via Glen Powell. 

Stay Cool, Cats

I got approximately zero point zero zero things accomplished today but I think I can be forgiven, as my brain liquified somewhere around 9am on the subway platform, leaking down into some rat's nest to never be seen nor heard from again. From here on out this weekend will be an extraordinary cancellation of any activity that moves me off the couch -- nothing but air conditioning and probably a Pedro Almodóvar marathon as I find myself very much in the mood for that. The heat makes me think of Pedro! I can't imagine why. 

Whenever it gets hot I find myself wanting to watch Pedro Almodóvar movies and I've been feeling a real hankering to re-watch his past decade's worth of beauties and marvels, many of which I've only seen once -- perhaps this weekend a little binge!

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— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) July 1, 2026 at 11:25 AM

Anyway everyone stay safe out there in this abysmal swelter -- do nothing more than lounging about like fancy-boy Josh O'Connor there in his bedazzled Dior blouse being pretty, please. Click here for more of that new campaign (thx Mac) which also includes fancy-boy Lakeith Stanfield lounging about sexily! I do wish they'd gotten Josh & Lakeith to lounge around with / on top of one another. Reenact some Maurice for us, you two. I'd buy a spangled blouse for that.

Today's Mood

I haven't mentioned how fucking hot it is in three hours 

so let's fix that with this gif from Street Trash aka My Life Story.

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Mason Gooding Seventeen Times

Normally I would feel overwhelmed by the sexy onslaught slamming into me this Thursday, as it's keeping me from getting any other substantive work done, but my brain is so fucking fried by this heat (Have I mentioned the heat yet? Perhaps in every post today?) I'm happy that a new photoshoot of MNPP fave Mason Gooding showed up in front of me (via) the literal second I finished making dozens of wet slutty gifs of MNPP Charles Melton. This is easy, gratuitous grunt work, keeping my dullard's brain occupied with forward momentum and gigantic pecs. It's about all I can handle today! Hit the jump for the remainder of our Mason here...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... wettin' Chuck's whistle.

Well I had a feeling this was coming, after two days of this sluttily-updated -- slupdated? -- "Got Milk?" campaign starring Charles Melton sending me off the deep end. (See the first post of pictures here and see the second one here.) Now there's video. Of course there's video. Why would there not be video? Y'all it is so hot in NYC today and this campaign's theme is "Stay Hydrated" but all they're doing is making my blood temperature spike. I have to go lay down. Y'all hit the jump for 20+ gifs as well as the video while I go lay down...

Good Morning, World

I know a lot of people complain about all the trash that Ryan Murphy has un loaded upon popular culture, but we need to remember the good things too -- like the fact that he hired this male model Hayden Michael Brown for a single episode of that show I did not watch called All's Fair  and now I'm doing my second slutty morning post of photos of him without feeling guilty about it. (See the first very large very hot post right here.) Unlike that earlier post which documented every single photo I could find of Mr. Brown this morning's comes from a single shoot (via) -- they say it's a tribute to Brad Pitt in Fight Club and yes, Brad Pitt does indeed rock a pink robe in Fight Club, iut's true. But I can't be the only person who sees a pink robe and thinks of Michael Douglas in Wonder Boys first can I? 

Hayden's robe is obviously a replica of Pitt's with the little scattered coffee mugs embroidered into it though, so I get it. But I still think of Douglas first! He owns pinks robes in my brain. But I won't bother doing a "Who Wore It Best? poll because that is deeply and profoundly unfair to pit (heh see what I did there) anyone against Brad Pitt in Fight Club in one of those. Anyway this is a wonderfully sleazy shoot of Hayden and given how sweaty and grimy and gross I feel after trudging to work in this heatwave we're experiencing in NYC right now, sleaze feels right. Hit the jump for the rest..

Milking Charles Melton

If you're anything like me you've spent the past 24 hours since the first batch of "Charles Melton Milk Pictures" dropped creaming your everything over them -- well Big Milk must be in league with Big Jeans because they clearly want us all to spoil more of our collective pants as they've today dropped an entire 12-month calendar of these images. Find out about it here -- they make you buy some milk online in order to get a download of the thing, which I totally fucking did because obviously I needed to have this as soon as possible. Now I've got some messenger headed my way with a carton of milk on the hottest day of the year so far but I didn't make these rules! I am just surviving here! And I do like milk and drink it every day so it won't go to waste. Anyway I posted most of the images that weren't already included in yesterday's post over on the Tumblr, so feel free to click there if you're not inclined to have a messenger bring you a carton of milk like some maniacs are. The things we do!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

The Old Dark House (1932)

Sir William Porterhouse: So, you got your feet wet?

Gladys: Yes, Bill, and that wasn't all either.

Sir William Porterhouse: Yes, I didn't suppose it was!

James Whale's The Old Dark House is a perfect movie -- if you were making a list of the ten best haunted house movies you'd have to include it and it's not even about a haunting. The fact that I only saw it for the first time within the past decade or so stuns me -- you can see how every "haunted house" movie after has been forced really to riff on it because it is a perfect distillation of the thing it is. Anyway I'm not really here to heap more praise on this movie, as I've done several times now since seeing it -- I'm just here to wish one of its stars, one of the gay ones, a happy birthday. 

Happy 127th to the grand old closet queen Charles Laughton -- speaking of James Whale, Laughton went on to wed Whale's Bride of Frankenstein herself Elsa Lanchester, which provides me with the opportunity to once again recommend any and all books about those two but especially her autobiography Elsa Lanchester, Herself, which is probably the single most entertaining celebrity bio I have ever read. Lanchester was a grand writer and storyteller and had one fuck-ton of a life to regale us about, including her gay ass husband. Not that it's possible to hold it against Chuck, given the times he lived during -- and anyway he directed the masterpiece The Night of the Hunter so anything he ever did is black water under the dreamy night-time bridge. 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

I Have No News of The Onania Club...

... I was just curious if any of you had heard about this movie? I only heard about it for the first time when John Waters brought it up during a Q&A at for the Criterion release screenings of his two movies last week. So if you're like me and clueless -- first off, I apologize. So The Onania Club was directed by Tom Six, the dude who made the Human Centipede trilogy (which of all things was just announced to be getting an enormous fancy 4K box-set from Umbrella in Australia btw, in case you're into those terrible terrible terrible movies.) Six made this movie is 2019 but supposedly very very very few people have seen it -- one of them being John Waters, who put it into his Top 10 list in 2021; and here's what John had to say which I think will give y'all the gist better than I ever could:

"OK, I’m really going out on a limb here, replacing Pedro Almodóvar’s exquisite Parallel Mothers, a film everybody should love, with this loathsome unreleased feature everybody will probably hate. The Human Centipede director tops himself with a story of rich Los Angeles women who gather together to masturbate while watching news footage of the world’s misery. Often wrongheaded but sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, it has been rejected by film distributors worldwide. All I can say is that the movie sure as hell delivers. You will probably never be able to see it. Maybe that’s a good thing . . . "

And sure enough nobody has released it in the seven years since it was made. There's a thread on Reddit about it that says Six is just holding out for an inflated check for the film and that several labels including the fine freaks at Severin have indeed offered to release the movie -- this makes sense to me since everything I've ever heard about Tom Six is he's a total maniac. Of course you could just read the logline for the Human Centipede movies and assume that, but it's surprisingly rare -- look at Wes Craven! Most horror directors are like him -- perfectly nice people who get their subconscious freak-shit out on screen. Six seems to be one of the exceptions. Anyway we love an urban legend movie like this so I had to do a post -- Waters brought the film up in relation to a question about whether movies and art still had the ability to shock in our current world, saying that watching rich ladies jerking off to footage of 9/11 shocked even him lol. Anyway this makes me realize I didn't post the video I took of John Waters introducing the screening of Hairspray I attended over the weekend! So I should do that.

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