my new plaid pants

Thursday, July 02, 2026

Today's Mood

I haven't mentioned how fucking hot it is in three hours

so let's fix that with this gif from Street Trash aka My Life Story.

Normally I would feel overwhelmed by the sexy onslaught slamming into me this Thursday, as it's keeping me from getting any other substantive work done, but my brain is so fucking fried by this heat (Have I mentioned the heat yet? Perhaps in every post today?) I'm happy that a new photoshoot of MNPP fave Mason Gooding showed up in front of me (via) the literal second I finished making dozens of wet slutty gifs of MNPP Charles Melton. This is easy, gratuitous grunt work, keeping my dullard's brain occupied with forward momentum and gigantic pecs. It's about all I can handle today! Hit the jump for the remainder of our Mason here...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... wettin' Chuck's whistle.

Well I had a feeling this was coming, after two days of this sluttily-updated -- slupdated? -- "Got Milk?" campaign starring Charles Melton sending me off the deep end. (See the first post of pictures here and see the second one here.) Now there's video. Of course there's video. Why would there not be video? Y'all it is so hot in NYC today and this campaign's theme is "Stay Hydrated" but all they're doing is making my blood temperature spike. I have to go lay down. Y'all hit the jump for 20+ gifs as well as the video while I go lay down...

I know a lot of people complain about all the trash that Ryan Murphy has un loaded upon popular culture, but we need to remember the good things too -- like the fact that he hired this male model Hayden Michael Brown for a single episode of that show I did not watch called All's Fair and now I'm doing my second slutty morning post of photos of him without feeling guilty about it. (See the first very large very hot post right here.) Unlike that earlier post which documented every single photo I could find of Mr. Brown this morning's comes from a single shoot (via) -- they say it's a tribute to Brad Pitt in Fight Club and yes, Brad Pitt does indeed rock a pink robe in Fight Club, iut's true. But I can't be the only person who sees a pink robe and thinks of Michael Douglas in Wonder Boys first can I?

Hayden's robe is obviously a replica of Pitt's with the little scattered coffee mugs embroidered into it though, so I get it. But I still think of Douglas first! He owns pinks robes in my brain. But I won't bother doing a "Who Wore It Best? poll because that is deeply and profoundly unfair to pit (heh see what I did there) anyone against Brad Pitt in Fight Club in one of those. Anyway this is a wonderfully sleazy shoot of Hayden and given how sweaty and grimy and gross I feel after trudging to work in this heatwave we're experiencing in NYC right now, sleaze feels right. Hit the jump for the rest..

Milking Charles Melton

If you're anything like me you've spent the past 24 hours since the first batch of "Charles Melton Milk Pictures" dropped creaming your everything over them -- well Big Milk must be in league with Big Jeans because they clearly want us all to spoil more of our collective pants as they've today dropped an entire 12-month calendar of these images. Find out about it here -- they make you buy some milk online in order to get a download of the thing, which I totally fucking did because obviously I needed to have this as soon as possible. Now I've got some messenger headed my way with a carton of milk on the hottest day of the year so far but I didn't make these rules! I am just surviving here! And I do like milk and drink it every day so it won't go to waste. Anyway I posted most of the images that weren't already included in yesterday's post over on the Tumblr, so feel free to click there if you're not inclined to have a messenger bring you a carton of milk like some maniacs are. The things we do!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Old Dark House (1932)

Sir William Porterhouse: So, you got your feet wet?
Gladys: Yes, Bill, and that wasn't all either.
Sir William Porterhouse: Yes, I didn't suppose it was!

James Whale's The Old Dark House is a perfect movie -- if you were making a list of the ten best haunted house movies you'd have to include it and it's not even about a haunting. The fact that I only saw it for the first time within the past decade or so stuns me -- you can see how every "haunted house" movie after has been forced really to riff on it because it is a perfect distillation of the thing it is. Anyway I'm not really here to heap more praise on this movie, as I've done several times now since seeing it -- I'm just here to wish one of its stars, one of the gay ones, a happy birthday.

Happy 127th to the grand old closet queen Charles Laughton -- speaking of James Whale, Laughton went on to wed Whale's Bride of Frankenstein herself Elsa Lanchester, which provides me with the opportunity to once again recommend any and all books about those two but especially her autobiography Elsa Lanchester, Herself, which is probably the single most entertaining celebrity bio I have ever read. Lanchester was a grand writer and storyteller and had one fuck-ton of a life to regale us about, including her gay ass husband. Not that it's possible to hold it against Chuck, given the times he lived during -- and anyway he directed the masterpiece The Night of the Hunter so anything he ever did is black water under the dreamy night-time bridge.

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

I Have No News of The Onania Club...

... I was just curious if any of you had heard about this movie? I only heard about it for the first time when John Waters brought it up during a Q&A at for the Criterion release screenings of his two movies last week. So if you're like me and clueless -- first off, I apologize. So The Onania Club was directed by Tom Six, the dude who made the Human Centipede trilogy (which of all things was just announced to be getting an enormous fancy 4K box-set from Umbrella in Australia btw, in case you're into those terrible terrible terrible movies.) Six made this movie is 2019 but supposedly very very very few people have seen it -- one of them being John Waters, who put it into his Top 10 list in 2021; and here's what John had to say which I think will give y'all the gist better than I ever could:

"OK, I’m really going out on a limb here, replacing Pedro Almodóvar’s exquisite Parallel Mothers, a film everybody should love, with this loathsome unreleased feature everybody will probably hate. The Human Centipede director tops himself with a story of rich Los Angeles women who gather together to masturbate while watching news footage of the world’s misery. Often wrongheaded but sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, it has been rejected by film distributors worldwide. All I can say is that the movie sure as hell delivers. You will probably never be able to see it. Maybe that’s a good thing . . . "

And sure enough nobody has released it in the seven years since it was made. There's a thread on Reddit about it that says Six is just holding out for an inflated check for the film and that several labels including the fine freaks at Severin have indeed offered to release the movie -- this makes sense to me since everything I've ever heard about Tom Six is he's a total maniac. Of course you could just read the logline for the Human Centipede movies and assume that, but it's surprisingly rare -- look at Wes Craven! Most horror directors are like him -- perfectly nice people who get their subconscious freak-shit out on screen. Six seems to be one of the exceptions. Anyway we love an urban legend movie like this so I had to do a post -- Waters brought the film up in relation to a question about whether movies and art still had the ability to shock in our current world, saying that watching rich ladies jerking off to footage of 9/11 shocked even him lol. Anyway this makes me realize I didn't post the video I took of John Waters introducing the screening of Hairspray I attended over the weekend! So I should do that.

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Good Morning, World

I was surprised when hit-maker and pop-god Mark Ronson posted this photo on his Instagram earlier this week, since this hot man has been notoriously stingy at exploiting his own hotness for our sakes for ages, even though he's always been as hot a piece himself as any of the stars he wrote music for -- anyway it seemed right to give him props for this little Pride gift not just in Ye Olde Pit Thread on Bluesky (which is still going steady and strong with fresh entries landing every damn day!) but here on the site proper as well. We've nursed a Mark Ronson crush for actual decades now -- anybody remember that time he got his pants torn off on stage? Ahh memories. Anyway happy July! It's my birthday in two weeks -- what are you buying me? None of that peace shit -- I demand war.

Tuesday, June 30, 2026

Jon Bernthal Twenty-Two More Times

Well this was a perfectly spectacular rabbit hole to fall down here on the afternoon of this absolutely shitty fucking day -- back in the middle of May I posted ten pictures of Jon Bernthal for Esquire magazine that were on their own quite the treat. But it turns out I should have done some further digging because over on the Instagram of the shoot's photographer Billy Kidd (do we think that was his birth name?) outtake upon outtake upon outtake were being unfurled -- twenty-two of them to be specific! So why the hell would you stare at news of the world falling apart when you can just focus very very intently on the way that shirt cradles Jon's bosom instead? You're welcome. Hit the jump to have your shitty day saved...

A happy update to share on last week's annoying news that the cowards at Amazon had dropped Luca Guadagnino's movie Artificial, about Open A.I.'s leading piece-of-shit Sam Altman -- the wonderful folks at Neon have supposedly picked the movie up for distribution! That comes via the in-the-know Matthew Belloni on the Nazi-website (via, thx Mac) who says this will be officially announced later this week and the movie is probably going to be out before the end of this year. Huzzah! Make like the film's co-star Cooper Koch here and drink one in praise of there still being some balls in the film world. Anyway I'd actually forgotten all the people in this cast (not that it's surprising given any actor with even half a brain should want to be filmed by Luca's loving camera) -- besides star Andrew Garifled there's Cooper here, there's Anora bald-beauty Yura Borisov, there's Jason Schwartzman (who basically stole Queer from everyone not named Lesley Manville or "Drew Starkey's Nipples Through That One See-Through Shirt), there's Cooper Hoffman and Billie Lourd and Monica Barbaro and Chris O'Dowd and Zosia Mamet and Nicholas Hamilton (the cute gay who played the bully from the It remakes) and Mark fuckin' Rylance (who definitely stole Bones and All with that fucking scuzzy hair-braid of death). Fingers crossed this lands at NYFF! Cannot wait. In summation -- fuck you, Amazon.

Give 'Em Hell Refn

As if unloading that slutty milk campaign on us Charles Melton admirers wasn't enough for this sweaty end-of-June Tuesday afternoon, Neon has just now unleashed the first full-length trailer for Nicolas Winding Refn's Her Private Hell as well -- and as glimped in the first teaser as well as yesterday's sweaty torso poster it appears to be a real "Imagine Charles Melton in a fetish, any fetish, and voila you got it" fest. Leather, uniforms, you name it Refn is gearing Chuck up for our visual benefits.

I still have no idea what the fuck this movie is about and oh my god I do not care in the slightest -- as with anything Refn has made in the past decade and a half it's all about the vibes and I subscribe to these vibes. A lot of people don't! And I feel bad for them! There are shots in this trailer that made my eyes pop out of my head.

Literally. My eyes are sitting on my desk right now, I am typing this blind. Anyway this movie was not loved at Cannes but that only made me more excited -- his two T.V. series (Too Old To Die Young and Copenhagen Cowboy) were similarly divisive and I loved every second of them. I would put Refn in alongside Robert Eggers and Wes Anderson as filmmakers who've alienated a lot of people by going off the deep ends with their respective styles but I'm so here for it from every single one of them. Art, baby!

Her Private Hell is out on July 24th. And hit the jump

for more Charles Melton gifs if you think you can take it...