It seems besides the point to point out that The Substance is using a sledgehammer to deliver its messages about our culture, its impossible beauty standards, and the fucking nightmare it is just trying to go through a day in 2024 without wanting to tear your own face off in the mirror. Because what else could it use? Our culture is a sledgehammer itself -- The Substance is just meeting it on its own obscene terms. Writer-director Coralie Fargeat's second feature -- following the terrific blood-soaked rape-revenge movie Revenge from 2017 -- is as subtle as a beauty queen slamming into the pavement from fifty stories up, and that is its best asset. (And typing that just now strikes me that Fargeat would be the perfect choice to finally adapt Chuck Palahniuk's book Invisible Monsters-- oh my god we need that to happen. Although it might be a little close to The Substance for it to be her next movie. Next after next, then.)
I'd often wondered how the Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? horror sub-genre of Grand Dame Guignol could be updated to our current age where a lot of people at a certain point simply don't age anymore -- they just freeze in place. Wonder no more -- Fargeat found the way, the sweet spot through where Dorian Gray meets The Swan by way of Society. The latter influence seems especially on point to me -- when Brian Yuzna's 1989 body-horror class comedy came out it never even got a proper release here in the U.S.. But now our culture has evolved -- or perhaps devolved, but this movie counts as a perk of our devolution -- to the point where one of the biggest movie stars of all time will star in a body-horror freak-out comedy that goes every ounce as hard as Society did. And it will premiere at Cannes for fuck's sake!
And its leading lady will have a gleeful audience of admirers -- me included -- shouting, "Oscar! Oscar! Oscar!" from theirs spots in the sewers. To say this is the best performance Demi Moore's ever given isn't the most demanding of claims -- she's always been more of a movie-star than an actress. Which is fine! Great! We need movie stars. Sometimes those categories overlap and movie stars are also great actors, but they don't have to for a "movie star" to be important in itself. Having the presence and glamour and inherent fascination needed to hold an audience in thrall, that's rare and beautiful and it should be celebrated. Not always with acting awards, mind you -- box office, success, fourteen houses including one for just your dolls. These are plenty just rewards.
That said, while I won't say I'll eat my shoe if Demi Moore is nominated for an Oscar for a movie where... well everything that happens in the last act of The Substance happens... I don't anticipate that happening. She'll have to make due I think with the praise of being the cool pick -- the one too cool and too too out there for the Academy, even if the Academy has proven itself a little riskier than in the past recently. But what am I even talking about awards for? The Substance is one fuck-ton of a movie, man!
An aria of self-loathing shrieked to the rafters, The Substance might be two and a half hours long but unlike its characters this thing has no filler -- the redundancy of its ritualistic self-abuse is methodical. Fargeat wants us to really soak in this chemical peel until our own skin stings and sloughs off; until we too can step out of our former self like a rubbery pink nightgown has fallen to the floor around our feet. It demands time for the hatred that Elisabeth Sparkle (Moore) feels for herself to bake itself around us like a crust, hard and uncanny. We gotta sit in this shit and stew, man. And in exchange Fargeat makes the experience a pop-colored candy buffet of goofiness slamming up hard against the gore -- it's like spinning, starting off slowly, slowly, but by the end we're flying so fast we're dizzy, puking, elated and half-dead but never more alive.
The Substance is a movie I can see myself putting on in the background of my life for the entire rest of it. It's grotesque, obscene, hilarious, meanspirited, gorgeous, heartbreaking, exquisite. It's an M&M with a cockroach inside; a long trail of innards curled up like a golden crown. To hold its excesses aginast it is to deny the excesses of its targets. Sometimes a punch to the face is needed. And I want to marry The Substance, punches and all, if it will have me. I promise I will be good to you, movie! Punch me unto nirvana!
Danish director Christian Tafdrup (seen above, what a babe!) who made the 2022 original Speak No Evil -- a film I consider a horror masterpiece (here is my review from when it screened at Sundance that year) -- has spoken out now that he's seen the remake starring James McAvoy, and his words are... incredibly similar to what I said in my review of the remake earlier this week. He was not happy! Now there are spoilers for the endings of both movies in what he says, so if you haven't seen them I suggest not reading this. And also I suggest you go watch the original movie right now -- it's easy to access, it's streaming on Shudder and rentable everywhere else. Anyway a hearty hear hear to all he says:
"I don’t know what it is about Americans, but they are brought up for a heroic tale, where the good must win over the bad, and this version of the film cultivates that,” Tafdrup complained. He went on to say that the changes that were made to the film made it feel “less dangerous,” and more sanitized for American consumption. "When I saw the film yesterday, I could see that they would never succeed with a film where the characters are stoned to death, as they do in our film. These people [in the U.S. version] must fight for their family and defeat the bad guys […] It is a kind of happy ending, and it is so deep in their culture that America must be able to handle it all." Comparing audience reactions, Tafdrup said he witnessed audiences leaving the remake “who were completely over-enthusiastic and clapped, laughed and whooped. It was like being at a rock concert” while he recalled how “people…left my film traumatized.”
I saw these gifs of Russell Tovey on Looking making the rounds on Tumblr yesterday and I realized I don't think I ever posted these shots here before? Which is insane. And so here they are, Russ in all his glory. Or you know, 85% of his glory anyway. Can you believe Looking is 10 years old already? We are all on death's door. Happy Friday!
A super sexy photoshoot of our boy Sebastian Stan hitting these streets today thanks to Variety, where they are chatting with the actor mainly about his role as you-know-who in The Apprentice movie, which is out on October 11th. I haven't seen it and to be honest I don't know that I have it in me to see it, at least until after November 5th. And I don't know that they are smart, releasing this movie before the election? Who wants more Trump right now? Even if the movie is as scathing as it needs to be (and I am assuming is, given Seb is a good boy) I think most of us have got sufficient right now. So I am just pretending this press is 100% for A Different Man, his amazing movie (my review here) that is out this exact weekend ahead, i.e. tomorrow. Go see that one! We love that one. And also hit the jump to see Sebastian being hot some more...
Hello and happy uhhh... Thursday? Okay. It's apparently Thursday. As foretold earlier this week I spent all day yesterday in NYFF press screenings but I'm back at my desk today for I think the entire day -- probably yes because I have a shit-ton to do and should sit at my desk and do it. This might mean that even though I'm here... in the cyber-ether... I am not here, as in here, posting. At least not much. But I'll try and pop in a few times since we don't want this place drying up like my old bones. In that spirit here's a hypedermic needle to the heart of hotness in the form of a third photo (no wait a fourth one) of Kit Harington backstage during his run of Slave Play in London. Drink up that delicious youth, y'all.
I know you're all very busy looking at that photo of James McAvoy, but eyes down here! I have just reviewed the movie that that photo is from -- the remake of Speak No Evil which hit theaters this past weekend -- and you can read my thoughts right now over at Pajiba. As an enormous fan of the 2022 original (here is that review) I couldn't even pretend that I wasn't going into this one unbiased, so I speak a lot about both films in there -- my gist, or my truth if you will (please don't), is that you should all see the original first and then decide later if you're up for a less fanged version down the road. There's stuff that works in the new one (a great cast in general) but I just found it on all fronts to be the less interesting take at every turn. Well okay not the beefcake take -- James McAvoy had that one in the bag from the moment the first picture was revealed.
Hello there! Forgot about a screening this morning so we're off to a late start -- I suppose this is a good moment to let you know that I have a full day of NYFF press screenings starting tomorrow too, so I won't be posting tomorrow at all. Indeed the next few weeks will be sporadic as hell as NYFF kicks off, and is immediately followed by both NewFest and Brooklyn Horror. We're officially in it! Anyway as a treat here are some gifs of the gorgeous and talented actor Aaron Pierre via his new Men's Health workout video (I'll include the video down below too) -- if you haven't watched Aaron kick ass in Rebel Ridge on Netflix yet I highly recommend you do. It's a terrific movie (of course it is, it's from director Jeremy Saulnier of Green Room fame). Now onto the gifs! Hit the jump for all the sweaty heaving Aaron goodness...
What we have here is another Criterion Announcement Day that 100% snuck up on me -- the months really are just whizzing by at the speed of light, aren't they? So suddenly it is apparently the middle of the month again -- and today Criterion has given us their release slate for this upcoming December. And it's a short list but it's also a wallop of masterpiece after masterpiece. Starting with the 4K drop of the Coen Bros 2007 Best-Picture-winner No Country For Old Men, which has been demanding a damn 4K upgrade for awhile now -- I kept wondering when this would come, and I am happy it's coming via Criterion. I will admit that I am a person who would have voted for Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will be Blood over this movie for Best Picture, but I only sort of liked No Country when it came out. I was wrong to be mixed on it, I have realized over the years. (But I still like TWBB a little more.) Anyway the movie has aged like fine wine is my point, and this is a long overdue addition to the Collection. (PS how in the hell is this movie 17 years old???)
After that we've got two 4K upgrades for movies already in the Collection -- Fellini's 8 1/2and Wim Wender's Paris, Texas. What can you say about either o0f those? Brilliant, the both. And can you believe I only saw Paris Texas for the first time a couple of years ago? What have I even been doing with my time. Watching shitty horror movies instead of these wonders???? Yeah that sounds about right. Anyway the fourth and final release in December (I told you it is a smaller batch this month) is one I have never heard of before -- the 1987 Hong Kong actioner Eastern Condors starring the legend Sammo Hung. It sounds like a blast and every time I have seen Sammo Hung in something I have found him delightful, so I very much look forward to checking this one out come December.
I have a bit of mixed feelings about this news -- on the happy side we have a new Joko Anwar movie to watch! The Indonesian horror master behind the two Satan's Slaves films and Impetigore has unleashed Grave Torture (Siksa Kubur), his new film, onto Netflix. And when I say unleashed I mean it, it's out right now! Its release only got announced yesterday! Which brings me to the less happy side -- they really should've given us some heads-up on this? Unless my head was buried in the sand (always possible) this wasn't advertised at all? Maybe I'm just a stick in the mud who doesn't like surprises (always possible) but New Joko deserves a big roll-out. He's proven himself several times over now to be one of the most exciting new voices in horror and I worry this is just being treated as feed for the content-mill, tossed into the void of Netflix to never be heard of again. Anyway I guess that's what I am trying to avoid here -- drawing attention to the damn thing. Everybody go watch the new Joko Anwar horror movie with me! Here is a teaser trailer:
I don't think any of us minded getting to stare at Joshua Jackson (standing very close to Matt Bomer!) during the Emmys tribute to Greg Berlanti last night (sidenote: Berlanti's speech very much made me cry -- how about you?) but it did seem a little strange that they had him come on to talk about something that didn't involve his character Pacey on Dawson's Creek -- he just talked about Kerr Smith's character's gay kiss the whole time. And I get it -- Josh has a career and a new show (about a boat doctor!) coming out, and Kerr... notsomuch. Anyway it landed a little weird for me. Not landing weird for me however (nice transition) are these photos of Mr. Jackson for Numero Netherlands -- these land just fine. Hit the jump for them all...
My good pal Noah Centineo here would like me to tell you that we have to go now -- we've got a whole weekend ahead os us to do whatever it is we want to do. And I would say all of this myself but my mouth and my hands are too furiously busy. Never you mind, perverts! Bye until Monday...
I know I just announced it officially Spooky Season in my previous post, but I don't think I need to differentiate that from Gay Season -- Spooky + Gay is my sweet spot! And it's getting gay now because NYC's premiere queer film festival NewFest has just today announced their full line-up for this year's go-round which runs from October 10th through 22nd. Check it all out right here and pre-order your tickets immediately. A few highlights I will quickly highlight -- the Centerpiece Film is Andrea Arnold's new movie Bird starring Barry Keoghan and Franz Rogowski! I've obviously posted about this movie several times already and I was extremely sad to see it wasn't screening at NYFF, so this inclusion made me giddy -- NewFest starts right as NYFF is finishing so I'll switch right on over and get me some Bird there then! They're also screening Emilia Perez, Jacques Audiard's new film which won a bunch of prizes at Cannes (this one is also screening at NYFF); oh and they are showing a triple-feature of John Waters movies including Female Trouble for its 50th anniversary! But seriously that barely scratches the surface, click on over here to check it all out. Love NewFest every year!
Happy Friday the 13th, everybody! I feel like this one in special since it's landed in September and it feels like we've all been jonesing for Spooky Season to get started -- so let's just go ahead and use today's holiday as an excuse to say Spooky Season is offically here! Slap on your bat wings and big fake gummy teeth and go scare somebody, it's time! Or rip off your wings and teeth now -- that would also scare somebody. Anyway an excellent way to properly celebrate -- besides watching one of the Jason Voorhees movies, of course -- is to go watch this year's expirimental Slasher hit In a Violent Nature, which has just today landed on Shudder! Admittedly this movie isn't for everybody, but for those of you who like to try new things it might work as well as it did for me -- here is my Sundance review. (Which landed me on some of its promotional materials, huzzah!) Its killer Johnny, he of the big goofy logger's mask, is basically the new Jason Voorhees -- since we're not getting any new Friday the 13th stuff thanks to the dopes who killed Bryan Fuller's highly anticipated series it'll have to do, anyway. I think I reported this when it was announced but they are working on a Violent Nature sequel, and what's more Friday the 13th then sequels??? I do wonder if the gimmick it uses will work a second time -- I think they will have to find a new way to spice it up. But if Orphan could do it after we got the world's greatest most ridiculous twist -- and goddamn did Orphan 2 work -- then they can!
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