Make Jake The Groom!

All due apologies to the main cast of Maggie Gyllenhaal's The Bride!, meaning Jessie Buckley and Christian Bale mainly, but I was always going to begin this post with a picture of Jake -- no matter how small his role in the movie might be (and it's honeslty a little bit bigger than I assumed it would be) (that's what he said) it's always him. And thankfully a couple of extra shots from that new photoshoot I shared yesterday appeared this afternoon so no need for redundancy. Anyway! Exclamation point! The time has come, now that The Bride! is in theaters, for me to review The Bride! -- funny how that works. Click on over to Pajiba to read my thoughts on the movie, which is... 

... a lotta movie. I'm gonna make you click to find out if I liked it or not. But in related news the movie is already available to pre-order on physical media -- no release date set yet but buy the limited 4K steelbook here, or just the regular ol' blu-ray right here. That said you should probably watch the movie first, given how all over the map reactions have been. Also of note, physically-media speaking -- Waxwork Records is putting out a vinyl of the film's soundtrack which delightfully includes a few songs sung by Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal himself! That's out in May supposedly, you can pre-order it here. What a good sister Maggie is, giving her brother a lil' singing and dancing spotlight to savor. The boy loves a spotlight.

George MacKay Eight Times

I think I'd convinced myself that I was only attracted to George MacKay with short hair because he's had short hair for all the recent films he's been in where he won me over -- see The Beast, Femme (especially Femme), True History of the Kelly Gang, on and on. But now I'm looking at these new luxuriously-coiffed photos of George for Esquire UK and I'm realizing -- gee golly he's got some pretty hair doesn't he? What a man, what a mane! Anyway he's got two very good movies coming out this year, both of which I've seen but neither of which I've reviewed -- there's Rose of Nevada (with Callum Turner!) and Broken English (with Tilda Swinton!) and I recommend seeking both out when the time comes. Until then, seek of these fresh-locked photos of George right after the jump...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Mothering Sunday (2021)

Mrs Niven: You have no family. 

Jane: No, madam.

Mrs Niven: Your mother left you, is that right?

Jane: Yes, madam, an orphanage.

Mrs Niven: How very lucky. To have been comprehensively

bereaved at birth. You have absolutely nothing to lose. 

And you never shall, not really. That is a gift, Jane, 

and you must learn to use it. You're very fortunate.

JFC that quote is wild. I'd forgotten how hard this movie (and Olivia Colman within it) went. It's one of the ones that got unjustly lost in the pandemic tumult -- it deserved better. I reviewed it right here. Anyway in theory we're bringing up this movie because its lead Odessa Young, a wonderful actor, is celebrating her birthday today -- we love her, go watch her in this as well as in Shirley. Hell she was also the best part of the Springsteen bio-pic with Jeremy Allen White this past fall. Anyway that's in theory -- let's be honest, though: bringing up this movie let's me re-post this gif of Josh O'Connor in this movie:

(See more -- I mean lots more, wink wink -- here.)

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

I didn't intend to take a Heated Rivalry break here on the site for however long it's been -- no you people who hated on the show in the comments constantly didn't win, sorry -- I've just been... let's say "scattered" lately. That's a nice word for it. Nicer than "wanting to crawl in a very deep dark hole and die" anyway which is far closer to the truth. There's no fun in that, though -- I'd prefer to try and be helpful at keeping everybody's moods up, everybody's minds off all the bullshit, be some sort of oasis in the desert of 2026. It's been a hard couple of weeks at managing all that, is all. Not doing great, Bob! Anyway I do have these photos of Connor Storrie looking ridiculously gorgeous for Vogue (via) so perhaps these'll slap some sunshine on me, you, somebody, this morning. And hey it's Friday! That's gotta count for something too. Hit the jump for the rest...

Today's Mood

Melton's Meat-y Part

Season two of Netflix's successful series Beef is creep creeping creeping ahead -- indeed it's only about six weeks off now (it premieres on April 16th) which means we've just gotten the first teaser for it, which I will dutifully share with you down below. Most importantly though we must first post every new images of Charles Melton without hius clothes on, and...

... done. (See previous sexiness here.) This season swaps out Steven Yeun and Ali Wong and their ever-escalating parking-lot dispute to have Oscar Isaac and Carey Mulligan playing a couple who come into conflict with a couple played by Melton and Cailee Spaeny, all at a fancy country club. Great actors, looking pretty and cruel, I'm all over this shit. Here's the tease:

Jake Gyllenhaal Eight Times

I suppose I should've realized that we'd be getting some sort of Jake-ness this week with his sister Maggie's movie The Bride! opening tomorrow -- even though his role's not huge he is indeed in the thing. And sidenote: he's a joy in it. But we'll get to that when our review drops. His role's definitely more fun than these relatively somber and serious photos for the luxury brand Bulgari ...

... would have us believe, but qho can blame the boy for wanting all the free watches one can stuff in their pockets? That is how becoming a "brand ambassador" works right? You just get to Supermarket Sweep yourself through their flagship store every time you visit? Anyway even if these photos are a bit of a snooze he's looking exceptionally handsome right now all the same, so hit the jump and make your ass feel luxurious... 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

I know that the ratio of gratuitousness to other content here at MNPP is, you know, lopsided -- there's one insistent commenter here lately who keeps shrieking about pornography, for example. We love them. Anyway to over-share for a moment (god forbid) this "thirst content" doesn't seep into my subconscious too often -- you might think I'm having dirty dreams all night long about all these fellas I'm posting all day long, but you'd be wrong. Wrong enough that I usually mention it when that pattern's disrupted, and here we are. I dreamed the dirtiest dreams about Jacob Elordi all night last night. Filth! It was glorious. Forcing myself to wake up this morning was a painful experience -- I didn't want it to end. Anyway if I'm a bit off today now you know why. Jacob kept me up all night.

Laurent Lafitte Ten Times

Nice little treat today thanks to GQ France -- some suave man photos of actor Laurent Lafitte! He first caught our eyes as the "next door neighbor" in Paul Verhoeven's tremendous 2016 Huppert-vehicle Elle -- and sidenote holy shit that movie's turning 10 this year -- although looking back I'd definitely seen him in things before then like Mathieu Kassovitz's The Crimson Rivers and Guillaume Canet's Tell No One (apprently he only works for sexy directors!). And since Elle I've seen Laurent in the unsettling apocalypse-ish flick School's Out in 2018 and last year's big-budget smash The Count of Monte Christo. Still I don't see shoots of him popping up too often so this is a treasure. Hit the jump for the rest...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

Okay it's been kinda Kit-heavy here this week but with Industry's fourth (and best to date) season coming to an end, right after having binged the entire run, it's appropriate. It's a Kit moment! A moment o' Kit! And what, I'm not going to post that specific photo seen above, shared by the series' creator Konrad Kay on Instagram? It's like you hardly know me. (click to embiggen)

Good Night, Mister Fancy Pants

Have I really not posted any of the photos of Jake on the set of his sis Maggie's imminent movie The Bride!, yet? I'm slippin' in my middle-age. Well here's probably the finest pair. And yes, as stated yesterday I have seen this movie. You'll have to wait a little bit for my thoughts though. I'm edging y'all a little longer but don't you fret -- it'll be worth every drop. 

Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Tody I'd rather be...

... taking it bareback with Jacob Elordi.

No I do not and I will not apologize for that dirty-minded insinuation. I said it and I meant it! Hit the jump for two more pictures of Jacob singeing the very pages of Harper's Bazaar...

Mason Gooding Twenty-Five Times

I was actually pretty surprised last week when Scream 7 came out (read my lonely loving review of that right here) and we weren't absolutely inundated with hot Mason Gooding photoshoots -- cheated! I felt cheated! I did post this one here on Friday but that was paltry in comparison to my needs so I'm glad that InStyle mag rectified the siutation a little bit today with an appropriately beefcakey take...

... on our favorite Scream version 2.0 survivor. And just to make sure since I don't think I've ever asked this before -- we are all on the same page that this nepobaby's way hotter than his dad, right? Mason is nepo-babying done right. Cuba never did much for me (although okay some of those locker-room scenes in Jerry Maguire I might've rewound and played in slow motion a few times) but Mason? Unff. Major unff. Hit the jump to unff yourself silly...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Old Joy (2006)

Kurt: Sorrow is nothing but worn out joy.

This movie, the first Kelly Reichardt film I ever saw, is turning 20 this year -- technically it premiered during Sundance 2006 so I guess it already did, but it didn't hit limited theaters until August. So feel free to throw your Old Joy themed costume parties then! We're here right this minute though because today is the 62nd birthday of the brilliant world-class filmmaker behind it. We love you, Kelly Reichardt! One of the all-time greats of American cinema, period. 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

Did y'all see the news that right now, as of this minute, there are zero plans to give Mona Fastvold's tremendous 2025 film The Testament of Ann Lee any kind of physical media release? That right there is some high bullshit if I ever saw some high bullshit. I say we riot in the streets until not only a 4K disc is released but also that goddamned glorious soundtrack of Shaker bangers is put onto vinyl as well. "Shaker bangers" haha, what a phrase. It sounds like the name of a rowdy detective on a CBS procedural. "Nobody runs from Shaker Banger, baby!" Ahem anyway Ann Lee's gay brother himself Mr. Lewis Pullman (who could totally play Shaker Banger now that I think about it) is on the cover of the new issue of Esquire and we've got the shoot, hit the jump for it (or else we'll send Mr. Shaker Banger here on your tail)...