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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Carrie (1976)

Freddy: Here, piggy! I'm gonna bash your little heads in

and you don't have to worry about the bomb no more!

I've done a million of these posts highlighting dialogue from Brian De Palma's masterpiece Carrie (turning 50 this very day!) before, since it's got one of the greatest and most memorable scripts that's ever graced the genre. But somehow I always overlook this line -- it's not as showy as Piper Laurie's... well anything that comes out of Piper Laurie's lips. But I think it's an important throwaway line in the film that most people miss -- the film doesn't strain towards making political or cultural statements beyond the fascism that is high school -- this isn't De Palma's Blow Out, which is explicitly political just a couple of years later -- but I think the deep nihilism of the late 1970s is in here, infecting these kids to their cores, and this is just a little whiff of that. Anyway this is a perfect and precise movie, a perfect and presicse adaptation, and the quicker we brush Mike Flanagan's abortion of a television show out of our heads and get back to appreciating the GOAT the better. Carrie forever!

Good Morning, World

I am sure most of you saw some of these photos of soccer stud Jude Bellingham yesterday when Calvin Klein kicked down our doors, grabbed us by the throats, and threatened us all with a very good time -- but have you seen ALL of these photos? Because I spent all yesterday gathering up a few dozen of them, I did, because what better way is there to spend one's day? I have yet to find one. Also...

If this is how they're advertising the World Cup I'm down (His name is Jude Bellingham)

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— Jason Takes Man-Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) June 13, 2026 at 8:05 PM

... I would just like to stake my claim as an early Bellingham supporter. I mean I am sure "British People" or "Soccer Fans" knew who he was before I did -- I just mean amongst us sluts who only pay attention to sports when it gets gay and sexy. My people! Anyway what should be plain to all of us at this point is Jude Bellingham is one of the most attractive people on the planet, so let's get to worshipping after the jump...

Who Wore it Best?

I am sure there is some inside joke of a reason why Warfare co-stars Kit Connor and Michael Gandolfini just unveiled matching Marlboro tattoos on social media -- I'm not here to decide if this means they're smoking each other's pipes or not' I am just here to ask the second-most important question:

online polls

Morgan Spector Seventeen Times

Before anyone asks or says anything spoilery I have not gotten the opportunity to watch last night's fourth season premiere of The Gilded Age yet, so if like Rail Daddy got Clock Twink on his knees or something don't spoil it for me! Actually if that happened do spoil it for me and I will quit my job to go home and watch it right this minute. Anyway Morgan has got us all dropping to our knees with this new shoot for Man About Town magazine -- he's so, so good to us. Hit the jump for the whole damn thing...

On This Christmas (It Only Gets Better)

There's a new album of holiday songs coming from the modern day prince of such stuff Sufjan Stevens -- it's called Worst Christmas Ever! and mostly it's a Greatest Hits compilation from the many many albums he's released over the years; I guess if you don't want to buy the enormous box-set, this is for you. Naturally I recommend the box-set! It's literally the only holiday record I break out every year when we put up the tree. (My most beloved song is "Sister Winter" which I can listen to on repeat for hours.) Anyway in order to juice sales of this new record of old material Sufjan dropped a single new song, and we now have it to hear! (The album is out this week so the timing makes sense.) Listen below, but first here's what Sufjan had to say about this new tune:

"I love the idea of a Christmas apology. A holiday characterized by the giving and receiving of gifts might be made even better by the giving and receiving of forgiveness. “I’m sorry” is the ultimate ice-breaker in a moment of conflict, contention, and misunderstanding. Let’s try to be better this year: more loving, forgiving, welcoming and reckoning. This song is a prayer—that we can all find a way to yield to the wisdom and understanding of forgiveness. I believe the world will find its way. "

 

Five Frames From ?

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Good Morning, World

Just two weeks back I said I'd post a photo from this photoshoot of actor Dino Fetscher every single day if they dropped one every single day -- well every two weeks isn't quite "every single day" but it's probably a more feasible ask, so we'll take it. You can't blame me for feeling greedy though. Look at this man!

Happy Halloween Weekend!

Scream, queens, scream.

Bill Skarsgård Nine TImes

This new photoshoot (via) is an excellent reminder for me that I have a slew of photos and videos of Bill here sitting and gathering dust on my phone from a screening earlier this week of his new war movie The Mosquito Bowl, out in theaters today -- I should post those! (It's also a good reminder that this site only has an "Alexander Skarsgård" tag and no specific one for Bill but that's a lot of work to fix so yeah, not happening today.) Until I post those starfuckery snaps though this very handsome photoshoot will just have to do -- the show down directly below? Probably my new go-to for showing my barber what he needs to be doing with my hair. Perfection. Hit the jump for all the photos...

6 Off My Head: Horrors Yet Unmentioned

There has not been nearly enough Horror here on the site this month! No oh-so-spooky countdown of mustaches or telephones or toilets -- heck I haven't even done a "Ways Not To Die" post since September. And now here it is, Halloween Eve -- shame on me. I've been watching and re-watching horror movies, of course; there was the Brooklyn Horror Fest last week, and in the past week I've re-watched Gremlins 2 and An American Werewolf in London and the great Something Wicked This Way Comes -- the latter has the strange distinction of being perfect and weirdly forgotten (I never see it mentioned) while also being a movie I could see a remake of kicking ass. (It always feels weird, calling a new adaptation of a book a "remake" -- really it would just be a new adaptation.) Anyway it feels important to me to drop some horror on our heads before the weekend's here and gone and so I came up with a list! Here are six horror movies I've seen in the past few weeks that I haven't said anything about but I highly recommend. Several of these aren't out yet but I'll mention where / when either way, and you should definitely pencil them in, says me!

Six 2026 Horror Movies To Hand Your Eyeballs Over To

Buddy -- Thankfully this horror spin on Barney the Purple Dinosaur doesn't try to be anything more than that, and as such it's a lot of fun and occasionally extremely fucked up. Works in ways that the truly awful Five Nights at Freddys films don't come anywhere close to. My favorite part if when the rabbit..... (Now streaming on VOD.)

The Cycle -- Personally I think werewolf movies have a really low success rate, but if Robert Eggers nails Werwulf in a couple months (please please please) that will still make him the second to've done it in 2026 because The Cycle starring True Blood & Daredevil star Deborah Ann-Woll already did. And I think people have been trying to obfuscate the fact that this is even a werewulf movie but come on, we all knew it was a werewolf movie the minute you named it The Cycle. Anyway the movie this most reminded me of was The Autopsy of Jane Doe and that's one huge high ass compliment. And just like that wonderful movie, this one's got killer practical effects happening too. Give it a howl! (Now Streaming on Shudder.) 

The Threshing -- Horror would be nothing without humanity's endlessly reneweing pool of anxieties -- we're always dresming up new things to make us nervous, and this genre always finds 'em first. Director Sean Mannion delivers here what is essentially a MAHA Horror Movie, about a couple of pretty young rich things who head off to live amongst a sustainable farming cult with predictably (but no less unsettling for it) Tobe-Hooper-esque results. I saw this at Scary Movies back in August and, much like our current Health secretary's worms, it keeps crawling back into my brain. Not sure about a release but keep your ears to the ground. (Unless you don't want brain worms, I guess.)

New Group -- Sort of a zombie movie but also kind of Body Snatchers? Really this thing defies description but it's so strange and funny and WTF-filled that I consider it unmissable. This isn't what the movie is but it's what it is in spirit -- if TikTok manifested itself as a sentient diabolical force, it would be this movie. (Streaming on Shudder on November 6th.)

Never After Dark -- A gorgeous and spooky-as-hell little medium thriller - reminded me of The Innnkeepers and Oddity as well as all the classic J-Horror flicks. Go in knowing nothing! Actually I could say that about all of these movies -- horror movies are always better when you know nothing beforehand. I will never watch another horror movie trailer in my life, I swear it. (Now available on VOD.) 

I Love Paris -- It kind of seems impossible that a vampire mockumentary could exist outside the shadow of What We Do in the Shadows (both film and series) but Nicky Murphy's I Love Paris (which won the Audience Award at Fantasia in August and just screened in Brooklyn) somehow manages -- a lot of it is due to the star-making gut-busting turn from Aminata Thiboult in the title role. Paris is a wannabe music star in, yes, Paris, who stumbles into the world of bloodsuckers and keeps finding ways to use her new powers to suck up fame. Riotuously funny at times, weirdly moving at others, this movie keeps you on your toes in the best ways. (Not sure about a release yet, but I will let y'all know when I do.)  

Five Frames From ?

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Good Morning, World

After I did that Sense & Sensibility post on Tuesday where I pitted Mr. Nordrum here against his co-star George MacKay (while also sharing a brand new shoot of Herbert) I went and did a little deeper of a dive through his Instagram and in so doing was gifted with a few more very fine photoshoots of him. Even that shot in a bed! A instant "Good Morning" post was made, my friends. Anyway now's as good a time as any to drop all the highlights, right? Smile if you mean "yes."

I will take that as a "yes." Anyway I was real happy when Herbie (sidenote: what a joy to have an actor named "Herbert" in our lives now!) showed up in S&S because I wasn't sure he's make the transition from Norway given he's -- and I say this extremely complimentary -- a little funny looking. Funny-looking as in not the boring Teen Beat slop Hollywood favors. Give me interesting faces or give me death! Plus yeah whatever he's talented haha. I suppose that matters! But not for this morning's purposes where we're just gonna stare at him after the jump...

Look At Me, Tahar Rahim

It's not that I forgot my schedule doesn't really clear up very much after all of the fall film festivals, due to all of the awards screenings that suddenly start droppin' at my doorstep -- I think it's more like I block it out every year just so I can make it through without collapsing. It's not even that I make it or -- or more importatnly, am invited to! -- half the things some of my fellow film critics are. I see some of these people at these things and they tell me they've gone to five events that day and I silently thank the stars in those moments that I have a day job to center me a little! Even just having a screening or whatever to go to every single night is too much for this hermit who really just wants to hide on my couch but nevertheless find myself lured out by the promise of breathing in some Bill Skarsgard's air. Anyway that's all to say I'm off to another night's movie screening, which has absolutely nothing to do with Tahar Rahim -- but why not share this new shoot of tahar whilst I ramble? That way you actually get something out of this post that's not whatever this wretched humbebrag of a post was. Hit the jump for your tahar fix...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Today I'd rather be...

... raising Patrick Wilson back from the "Ded."

You Can See Everything in 400 Words or Less

There's an ad campaign for Nathan Fielder's You Can See Everything that's currenttly scourging my commute -- as seen above in a photo I took just this morning, the New York City subway system is wallpapered with Elizabeth Holmes' uncanny peepers. And it's been an effective one for A24 -- not only because the documentary is selling out all of its showings but because the image is, dare I say, eye-catching (yes feel free to groan). It really lodges itself in your brain. But it also underlines what my main issue with the film is (and I got into this a little bit on Bluesky right after I saw the film Sunday, you can read that here; I may repeat thoughts from those posts now) -- Fielder seems to think there's something inherently fascinating staring into the eyes of a pathological liar, but I just don't. 

YCSE just stares and stares at Holmes' face for the longest stretches, expending so much effort in unearthing her impossible truth, and I just could not give a flying fuck. She is just not compelling to me. Giving sociopaths this much time and energy is not worth my time, or your time, or Fielder's time frankly. Our cultural obsession with sociopaths is one of our main problems. People seem bowled over by where Fielder takes this fixation -- the second-half introduction of [redacted] is a lot of fun but I didn't find it particularly revelatory. You can tell how pleased with himself Fielder is as he and his co-director Lance Oppenheim cut back between actors and recreations and real subjects watching reenactments and on as if he's solved the Hellraiser puzzle-box but it's like multiplying zeroes for me -- none of this adds up to anything of substance. These are questions that far better filmmakers who don't rely on buzzy gimmickry have been asking about "fiction" and "non-fiction" filmmaking for generations. If Fielder was creating something actually artful out of this meta maelstrom -- if he was making something like Charlie Kaufman's Adaptation, say -- then that would be a different potato. But he just kind of plops all of this dog-half-eaten homework at our feet as expects us to be bowled over. He managed to crawl and curl up inside an ass of his own making -- huzzah for him, I guess.

There's Something in the River

For someone as devoted to kaiju cinema as me it's a little weird that I never cottoned much to Bong Joon-ho's beloved 2006 monster movie The Host -- to be honest I haven't seen it since it came out and my memory is fuzzy as to what exactly bothered me about it, so perhaps I should do a re-watch now that it's getting a 20th anniversary (sigh) 4K remaster and re-release. (Hopefully they upgraded the monster CG because I do recall that was pretty shitty back in 2006.) But if nothing else that new poster seen above was worth the effort -- that's an absolutely gorgeous poster. The re-release is happening November 21st & 23rd (two separate days, kinda weird) and below is the trailer. Any fans of this movie? I assume so since even in 2006 I was on a bit of a lonely island, not loving it, and the Bong Cult has only multiplied exponentially since then. (I remain firmly ensconced in Team Park Chan-wook when it comes to South Korean Genre Directors.)  

Tyriq Withers Seventeen Times

Okay so clearly all the extraordinary happenings are under the cover of People's 2026 "Sexiest Man Alive" issue -- yesterday I showed you Emily in Paris stars Lucien Laviscount & Lucas Bravo getting all comfy together, and here today comes a hefty spread of noted favorite hot piece Tyriq Withers! And damn it's a good one. Hit the jump for them all...

Five Frames From ?

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