The Book of Leviticus

Neon just dropped the above... poster...s... for the upcoming gay horror film Leviticus -- since it's a gif of two images I'm not sure what to call it. I've seen the phrase "motion poster" before so I suppose that fits. Anyway they're both great images, and supposedly we're getting a trailer tomorrow (the movie is out on June 19th) but, unlike the trailer for the new Evil Dead movie that I just posted, I doubt I will share the one for Leviticus. Because I've seen Leviticus -- I posted about it about a month ago, that it was playing the "New Directors" fest here in NYC -- and I am one hundred percent certain y'all should go into this movie as cold as possible, like I did. I've really been wanting to write up my thoughts on the film, which are myriad and emotional, but I've hesitated for a couple of factors. 

One is that I'm not sure I can write about it without talking about everything going on with it, but honestly that's not been the main issue. The other is that, and I don't think this will surprise any of you who've been here lately, I've really had some writer's block bogging me down over the past several months. I've felt like it's had to be super obvious to any of you visiting -- I've really been operating on auto-pilot lately, and I need to get myself out of this funk. Especially if I'm going to write about a movie like Leviticus, which moved me in some profound and extremely personal ways. So if anybody has any words of encouragement I wouldn't hate to hear them, is what I'm saying -- the thing is that I'm hardly alone in feeling broken by the world these days, and I guess that's what's sort of kept me clammed up about it. It's been very much the preacher's funeral sermon in Synechdoche New York -- "Maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery because they have their own." It all feels redundant and obvious and in turn pointless and it cycles, and cycles. Hopefully I can dig myself out of this grave and do better! Understatement! Anyway here's some video I took of Leviticus director Adrian Chiarella introducing the movie at MoMA a couple of weeks back; he really speaks beautifully:

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Burn Demon Babies Burn

That there is the first teaser trailer for the next Evil Dead movie, titled Evil Dead Burn, and unlike what I normally say about horror movie trailers I think it's perfectly fine to watch this one! It's about a minute of footage from the movie, a single unbroken take that shows very little except the expected chaos of any Evil Dead movie. But I think it gives you a good feel for what French director Sébastien Vanicek will be rbinging to the typical Deadite-inflected proceedings -- I was a huge fan of his 2023 spider-horror flick Infested, which is in itself kinda extraordinary because I fucking hate spiders, they terrify me, and I usually can't bring myself to seek out horror movies about spiders. And yet! Even I, through my fingers, couldn't deny the fun and power of Infested. (And speaking of I will now renew my plea for a physical media release of it. Come on, Shudder!) Anyway Evil Dead Burn is out on July 11th and below (via) is the plot description, which does fill in some gap points of reference for the clip above:

"Evil Dead Burn unleashes the franchise’s most savage and terrifying ride to date, blazing onto big screens with an all-new chapter of carnage and demonic mayhem. After the loss of her husband, a woman seeks solace with her in-laws in their secluded family home. As one by one they are transformed into Deadites—turning the gathering into a family reunion from hell—she comes to discover that the vows she took in life… live on even in death."

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

Any fans of the show I Love L.A. here on this site? I was an immediate adopter of Rachel Sennott with the great Shiva Baby in 2020 (followed by the also great Bodies Bodies Bodies in 2022 and the super great Bottoms in 2023) which makes it very weird that I haven't gotten to the show yet -- I think the first reviews I saw were dismissive and I decided I didn't want to see her suck so I stayed away just in case. But since then I've gotten the impression that maybe that initial impression had been incorrect. So I ask you, the people, my people,  what you think. If I can't trust you then I might as well climb into that bath with Josh Hutcherson and drop a toaster on us both!

I don't know why I need to take Josh Hutcherson with me in this secnario -- I guess it's just that if I'm gonna go, I might as well go with a smile on my face. Is this too much murder-suicide talk this early in the morning? (Is there ever too much?) Anyway Josh is also on that show, hence why we're here. Well okay these pictures for GQ are "why" we're here -- the show is the reason he's in GQ. That's some real spider-ate-the-fly bullshit huh? Hit the jump for the rest of the photos...  

Joel Kinnaman Three Times

Joel Kinnaman should wear leather pants more often. 

It's just a combination that makes perfect sense. 

Like peanut butter and Joel Kinnaman in leather pants.

(via)

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... shocking my system with Austin Nichols.

I took Austin's gratuitous bait last week, I might as well take it this week too -- especially since this time's even more gratuitous. Plus (more importantly) it's a Monday and I am feeling even more lazy. Tired? Lazy. Whatever. Austin Nichols took his clothes off for us and posted a video of it online and we're nowhere close to being above cheaply bought off in such a manner. If only all actors were as easy as I am. We am. We are. I need to go stare at the sea y'all.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Road House (2024)

Ben Brandt: You, tell me about this bouncer.

Moe: Oh, uh, yeah I dunno, man. 

He's kinda strange, you know?

Ben Brandt: What do you mean, strange?

Moe: Yeah.. You know, he acts all nice and shit 

like he's Mr. Rogers or something. But then, man, 

he hauls off. He hauls off! He beats the living shit 

outta you! So, really interesting guy, overall. 

Ben Brandt: That was a brilliant analysis. 

Sam, throw these dum-dums overboard.

You know I chose this passage of dialogue from the Road House remake just to post these gifs of Billy Magnusson in a speedo -- you know it, I know it, Billy knows it, the aliens a billion light years from Earth know it, so let's just move on. Because it's Billy's birthday! Our beautiful blond Billy boy is turning 41 today and we wish him a great one. I imagine he is having one of those anyway since well he's Billy Magnussen, look at him. But also his new series The Audacity has, from what I can tell, gotten very good notices -- I haven't started it yet but it's very much on the list. Any of you watch it yet? 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

When I saw Our Hero, Balthazar at Tribeca last year I was kinda annoyed that Noah Centineo kept that shirt on during the scene pictured above -- it really got in the way of the things I wanted to see, Noah! That said when this set photo presented itself a few days ago (thx Mac) I felt much more forgiving. And here we are. OHB hit theaters a few weeks ago and I believe it's still playing in some and not out on VOD yet -- I honestly wasn't all that crazy about it when I saw it but perhaps you'll dig it. Who knows? Opinions are like Noah Centineo's asshole -- if you wear a long shirt over them nobody will get to see them! Anyway even if the movie's not out on VOD you can find this scene on the internet, in places (ahem) -- I am going to wait until it hits VOD officially to make gifs. Blah blah blah happy Monday. Another fucking week to get through. Let's get to it, then.

Make Like Jamie Dornan...

... and stick something tasty in your mouth hole 

this weekend. Goodbye until Monday!

 

Three More Meltons!

How dumb am I (full stop) to've thought that we'd seen the last of the Charles Melton in Men's Health photos after I'd spent half the past week posting, you know, literally hundreds of them. When I posted that hot one yesterday I really thought that'd be that since Beef was now out on Netflix. (Have you watched any? Can we talk about the coyote scene yet???) Thankfully I am the stupidest peron who has ever lived or will ever live, and three more photos have come via MH's Instagram in the past day or so.  So now I'm gonna be smart and say this won't be it -- I'm gonna guesstimate that they're holding on to five thousand more photos to share, and that'll prove my smarts! I'll show you! Okay go watch Beef so we can talk about the coyote scene, the end. Oh and hit the jump for the rest of these pictures as well I suppose...

I Want My Mummy!

It's totally inexplicable how much not a Mummy movie this Mummy movie is. Lee Cronin's The Mummy (and I do think that's the official title in full, which... well that probably would've been a better choice had you been sure you'd made a great Mummy movie first, Mr. Cronin) is in fact, besides a couple of scenes set in Egypt and a sarcophogus, an Evil Dead movie. It's basically a remake of Lee Cronin's Evil Dead Rise (his last directorial effort) in fact, when it comes down to it. It's Evil Dead Rise with a bunch of CG sand flying around over everything every so often -- basically when Cronin remembers this is supposed to be a Mummy movie he makes some sand show up. Otherwise this is about a family who gets possessed one by one by a blasphemous demon, making little kids do the darndest things (or dare I even day, the damndest thing, gasp!), while ancient indecipherable artifacts get translated via obselete technology, and everything's extremely gross and obscene. 

The last bit is the best bit -- it's what I liked about Evil Dead Rise, too. Cronin is definitely not afraid to be extremely gross and extremely obscene. But as with EDR (which brought the Deadites to the city only to then keep them entirely contained to one building for the entire run-time, making it feel like a retread of everything we'd seen before in the franchise) the plot and the characterizations in this movie make so little sense from scene to scene; it's really just "gross and obscene" strung together by the thinnest of (admittedly sticky) threads. I didn't really hate my time watching this movie, but it's in no way "good" nor should anyone be applauded for how lazy it all is. Cronin made a terrific Irish Folk Horror movie in 2019 with The Hole in the Ground, but he's just been coasting on puke and pus and kids saying fuck ever since. Bad Mummy!

Today's Mood

Still can't believe how subversive the video for Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" remains here at 32 years old (!!!) -- a rock god presenting himself as both a fetishized sexual object and a submissive all at once? How often have we seen this in the years since? Bless you, Trent, you foundational pervert. Anyway! Today's a big day for NIN fans as their highly anticipated new record of remixes with Boys Noize, smartly titled Nine Inch Noize, has dropped -- I didn't get to see them on tour this past year where they've been playing these bangers so this is the closest I will get to them. No physical release of the album just yet but fingers and toes and leather whips all crossed in knots that'll happen eventually. (Says the man still waiting for Trent to drop the Bones and All vinyl, sigh.) But maybe it's for the best that this record didn't drop today as I just spent a grotesque amount of money on...

... a scorpion-filled version of the soundtrack for Lee Cronin's The Mummy movie over at Waxwork. (Seeing as how it's already sold out I have a feeling this will be a good investment though.) Oh and I also bought the below gorgeous poster for Steven Soderbergh's film The Christophers via Neon's store, because look at her! She's gorgeous. Oh and this movie P.S. is terrific -- it's a really low-key performance but I would love it if we could manage to maintain some Oscar buzz for Sir Ian until next spring since he's so fucking overdue and he's genuinely wonderful in this movie. I doubt it will happen since it's not a super showy role but I still really want him to be the first out gay actor to get one of those stupid statues. It just feels right. 

Matthias Schoenaerts Four Times

Until the Supergirl trailer dropped a couple of weeks ago I had totally spaced on the fact that our fave Belgian beefcake Matthias Schoenaerts had been cast as the bad guy in it (or at least one of them anyway) -- but there he was! Looking kind of goofy with a face popping with metal spikes, sure, but it made me excited for the movie anyway, even as I couldn't give a shit about it otherwise. So good work, James Gunn -- you gauranteed at least one extra ticket with that casting. That's like 20 bucks! (Unless I go to a press screening, in which case it's zero bucks.) And then a couple weeks before that we'd heard that Matty is going to star in a thriller opposite Halle Berry -- basically we're happy that he's popping up, metal spikes in his face or whatever, as it's felt like a little bit of a dry spell for those of us who adore him. And now (via) we've got a photoshoot to boot! Okay maybe it's not the most thrilling photoshoot but it's a photoshoot, hence me calling it "a photoshoot" in the previous sentence, and we'll take it. So hit the jump for the rest of the "photoshoot"... 

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... helping Austin Nichols with some yard work.

(We could plant some seed.)

I hadn't planned on sharing this photoshoot of Austin Nichols when he dropped it the other day because everything he shared at first was pretty boring -- not so the behind-the-scenes video though, as seen in the above gifs! Where are THOSE photos? Why would those photos disappear? I smell a plot! Anyway since we're here I'll go ahead and share the boring old clothed photos, hit the jump for them...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

Forever Hunk William Holden was born 108 years ago today and hey somehow I managed to dig up these two beefcake-y photos of him I've never seen before -- a dive into our archives will show you we've pretty well drained this one dry (phrasing! And we wish!) but when you've been dead for 45 years that's bound to happen. Well I guess until recently -- I could go make some A.I. photos of Bill making out with Gregory Peck right now if I was an asshole. Thankfully I'm just an asshole of other sorts, and not that worst sort. Miss you, Bill! Maybe I'll watch Sunset Boulevard tonight for the billionth time...

Mount Taron

Taron Egerton has been so generous with us these past couple of years y'all. (Remember his shimmy in a g-string on that fireman show of his last year? Phew.) That slammin' still above is from his thriller Apex that sees him (sexily) terrorizing Charlize Theron, and which hits Netflix next Friday -- I shared the trailer right here. Anyway that photo (which P.S. gets extremely big if you click on it) seemed a nice place to leave us off for the day (or to "[something] us off" anyway) -- yes as forewarned earlier this week this is yet another day of a very busy week where I've got screenings to attend to. Two of them today actually, including some time with that Taron. The other one... well click here if you want to know the other movie I'm seeing today is. Just know that I usually can't manage afternoon screenings given my day-job but I'm so excited about this one that I'm taking time off for it. Anyway giddy show-offery aside I'll be back in full tomorrow, so you and Taron just stay here and wait for me then. I'm sure y'll can find something to do. Bye!

Pedro Pascal Four Times

This morning I shared the cover image of Pedro Pascal for Fantastic Man magazine, and here right just literally minutes before I'm set to run out the door to a screening these images from the magazine drop, planting a "good goddamn" on my lips as I go. I really don't have time to say any more, but y'all enjoy these! I plan on it. 

Cate Blanchett Living

Listen. Cate Blanchett remains wicked cool and I love her. But I can't pretend I've spent decades of my life jonesing for a biopic of Martha Stewart, which is the latest project that the actress has attached herself to. I mean Cate sure does love a bio-pic! I guess being nominated for Oscars for several of them -- playing everyone to Queen Elizabeth to Katharine Hepburn to Bob Dylan to the very real composer Lydia Tár -- will do that to you. All of that said I am excited about this project anyway because of who's directing it -- it's being directed by Janicza Bravo, the director of my beloved Zola. (Also my beloved but lesser-known Lemon.) Now THAT rockets this news straight from "yeah okay sure" to "put it inside of me" territory. I guess all we need to know next is -- who will play Snoop Dogg?