Garrett Wareing Slips Into Patrick Wilson's Pants

Well here's some news tied and trussed up straight for my birthday tomorrow -- beautiful fur-baby and freshly unearthed MNPP fave Garrett Wareing (from The Long Walk along with a couple dozen photoshoots I've posted over the past year or so) just went and got himself cast as Young Patrick Wilson in the upcoming prequel Conjuring film The Conjuring: First Communion. (Actress Amanda Fix, who's apparently in Jane Schoenbrun's upcoming horror film Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma got the Young Vera Farmiga role.) I'm actually surprised they recast the roles since haven't there been actors who's played the Young Warrens already? I guess at this point even those actors ain't so young anymore and they needed even fresher flesh. Well they sure got it with Garrett Wareing! They actually found someone hot enough that I cannot side-eye the casting as a Young Patrick Wilson -- good work! That said the Conjuring movies are grotesque Catholic propoganda that legitimize a pair of frauds, and even worse none of the movies have been any good for years. And even when they were "good" they were just "okay." But whatever! Good for lil' Garrett! Onward and upward.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Paris, Texas (1984)

Walt: I thought you were afraid of heights.

Travis: I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of fallin'.

The lo-fi legend Harry Dean Stanton was born 100 years ago this day. When I picture HDS I picture his small and heartbreaking role as Carl Rodd, often seen sitting on a bench and staring the clouds beside the Fat Trout trailer park, in Twin Peaks (both Fire Walk With Me and The Return) immediately, but that's just because I'm such a Peaks fanatic -- there are more treasures and pleasures to be had across the man's incredible and lengthy CV than I could even begin to list here. Paris Texas is a pretty biggun though, so I feel fine celebrating via it. What are your favorite Harry Dean moments across the decades? Like -- did anybody do more in Alien to make that crew feel immediately down-to-earth than him? He was such a VIBE, man.

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Pics of the Day

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As foretold by a blind poet -- i.e. me, I am the blind poet -- I went and saw Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey last night. I'm not going to say anything re: my thoughts on the movie here because I haven't checked to see when the embargo time is (I am not even sure if there was one tbh) and also I'm not assigned to review the movie and with Fantasia Fest kicking off in two days, who cares? I have other things to occupy my mind! Plenty. That said I did want to share the photos I took last evening of the red carpet for tonight's NYC premiere being set up at the AMC Lincoln Square theater because even in its half-formed state it's one of the biggest spectacles I've seen being put together for one of these things -- the carpet-to-be looked like it was going to stretch two full blocks and yes as you see there a full-size Trojan Horse has been dropped onto the scene. Truly outrageous stuff. There were also a wealth of costumes inside the theater that I tried to snap photos of -- excuse the glare though, it was mid-day and I did my best. That blue number is the dress Anne Hathaway wears in a very Diva Moment, I will give you that much. All of that said I might not be able to resist saying some things about the movie between now and when I head to Montreal on Thursday morning so stick around. The possibilities are endless-adjacent!

Good Morning, World

Listen -- if I stumble upon a picture of Paul Newman shirtless that I have somehow never seen before, I am going to post said photo, reasons be damned. Given all we have posted of perhaps the most beautiful man to ever grace the silver screen over the decades, finding a nugget of anything of this sort is a small miracle. And yet even as I started this post thinking I was being random, I realized I am not -- the Fates aligned! Because Newman's perhaps greatest performance in Hud has just been released onto the Criterion Collection in 4K this very day! Kismet! Paul putting the kiss in kismet. As in somebody build me a time machine so I can go make out with Paul Newman kinda "kiss." Anyway -- Hud! Helluva pitchuh.

Unsheath Your Swords, Boys

I was just now looking through the cast list for Christopher Nolan's latest The Odyssey since I realized I had been paying very very very little attention to this thing since way back when it was first being announced (I haven't even watched a trailer for it) and I'm literally about to walk out the door to see it now. And besides all of the big names I couldn't believe how many notable hot people are down below the line on this -- Logan Marshall-Green? Cosmo Jarvis?? Himesh Patel? Rafi Gavron? Shiloh fucking Fernandez?? I didn't even know Jon Bernthal was in this to be honest. Anyway this at least gives me some hope that I'll have some hot guys in skirts to stare at for its three fucking hours of runtime. With all of that said y'all know I'm nobody's idea of a Nolan Stan but given that I dug Oppenheimer more than any of his films since, well, Memento probably, I'm not going into this with as much weight in my belly as I normally would've pre-Oppy. We'll see soon enough! If nothing else Robert Pattinson will be weird and that's sometimes, oftentimes, plenty.

Kit Connor Three Times

Three new outtakes from Kit's already swoon-inducing photoshoot for Flaunt magazine last April (via) -- the third and apparently final season of Heartstopper drops this week! I still haven't watched a single episode! Perhaps I'll binge it once it's through? Thoughts? 

Pedro Pascal and Such For Sale

I feel like I'm doing one of these posts every other week now but heads-up that I piled another round of goodies onto eBay for sale over the weekend -- this weekend was really Criterion heavy because I was rearranging those specific shelves so you'll see a couple dozen Criterion discs for sale there! And as always everything is open to offers so make me an offer, and if you buy more than one thing I ill ship it together and refund you the extra -- pinky swear. You can trust me -- you know where to find me otherwise, wink wink. There's also a copy of the sold out issue of Fantastic Man magazine that features this slutty ass photoshoot of Pedro Pascal in it -- a prize to put in your hope chest obviously for when you and Pedro get married. Buy my shit here. Besides that...

... there's also piles of movie posters, and a heap of fancy photography and art books that've gone up recently... and really when it comes down to it this is my birthday week so this is great way to celebrate me. We all win! Alternately there's always the option of a PayPal donation! Feed your favorite needy writer on his birthday week. You know you want to.

Lewis Pullman, You Devil

I've never been much for his daddy 

but my god does Lewis have swag.

(click to embiggen)

Putting the Heat into Evil Dead Burn

I saw somebody describe the hotness of Evil Dead Burn's French director Sébastien Vanicek as "Travis Kelce but hot" and I thought that was so funny and spot-on it's how I shall describe him as well. (I was going to say "forever" but honestly I kind of hope that ten years from now I'll have forgotten the name "Travis Kelce.") Anyway my review of Evil Dead Burn dropped at Pajiba last Friday but if you missed it read it here. Mixed thoughts! Extremely mixed thoughts on this one. Still I think Vanicek is talented -- I thought that after I finally set aside my spider-willies long enough to watch his 2023 horror flick Infested, which is a creepy-crawly great time. And even more importantly he's hot! So we'll continue keeping track of his career. We're easy like that. 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Jurassic Park (1993)

Dr. Alan Grant: Life found a way.

You'd think a person would reach a certain age, one where they've gone through enough of these to have an inkling that everyone dies and most of the people older than yourself who you worshipped as a kid, you're gonna have to say goodbye to them. But even with his openness about the cancer he'd been battling for years I wasn't prepared for my boyfriend to wake me up this morning with the news that Sam Neill had died. I'm sure I'd seen him in something before Jurassic Park -- I'd probably seen The Hunt For Red October; I doiubt I'd seen The Piano -- but he became, from the moment that movie opened, Dr. Grant to me. I actually have a vivid memory of not liking him having been cast in the role since I'd read the book and I'm sure the Dr. Grant that was swimming around in my hormonal 15-year-old head was hunkier. But the child-like (yes, Spielbergian) wonder under a faux-gruff exterior that he brought to the role was undeniable, and without it the movie wouldn't have worked. And it did work -- I went back and saw the movie twenty damn times in the theater, after all!

It took a long time for me to be able to see Neill as anything else -- and I'm sure, even though he more than anyone else in the franchise capitalized on the bank the role brought him, that single-role identification was a little harmful to his career -- but decades on when I finally got around to catching Andrzej Żuławski's Possession, well, if you've seen that movie you know it'll slap the spell off of anybody's face. I think I really only came to appreciate what a fine and versatile actor he was once that happened. So of course I'll find time to re-watch Jurassic Park for the ten billionth time this week but I'm gonna make space for The Piano, Dead Calm, In the Mouth of Madness, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, as well.

Thank you for everything. Sam Neill.

Good Morning, World

Happy Monday morning from an old photo (but previously unseen and unposted I do believe) of Russell Tovey in short-shorts in a room full of shelves. Shelves! Short shorts! Big ass calves! If it wasn't for his pup blocking the bulge this picture would have everything one needs to get through a Monday morning. Alas, we shall just have to thunder through on the rest. You can do it! (click to embiggen)

Melton's World

Well I started today by wishing one hot fella congrats on his Emmy nomination, I might as well end the day doing the same -- and this time for a performance I have actually seen! (Sorry, Colman.) Congrats to our boy Charles Melton for getting an extremely deserved nod for his hysterical turn in the second season of Beef -- I was happy to see that show get a few nominations; I really thought the general consensus (not shared by me) was that its second season was a downgrade. Personally I liked the second season even more than the first, mainly due to Charles' comedic brilliance (and sexual tension with Oscar Isaac) and the utter perfection that is Carey Mulligan every second she exists. Anyway I don't want to do any deep dive on the Emmy nominations because the Emmys fucking suck -- not one single nomination for anything Industry-related is basically an immediate disqualification for any meaningfulness with regards to their entire organization. But if Charles is happy...

...  we're happy for Charles. Anyway I had been hoping that he'd grace us with some more from his Milk Extravaganza of last week, but seeing as how generous he's been lately I won't complain. Not too loudly anyway. I've got these gifs from Beef on hand that I've not shared yet anyway. And just think -- his Nicolas Winding Refn movie isn't even out yet! That's in a couple of weeks and we'll have so so so much to say about it shortly, believe you me. (Yes indeed I have now seen it. I have now seen it!) It's actually opening Fantasia Fest in Montreal which, well I guess now's the time to share I'm going back to Montreal for that again this year, so stay tuned for lots of Fantasia coverage to come. Unbelievably that's... uhh. one week from today? Shit I haven't packed a thing yet. All that AND it's my birthday next week. When it rains milk from Charles Melton's lips it pours milk from Charles Melton's lips. As the saying goes. Okay I've rambled enough. Time for me to head off for my three day weekend. Keep your eyes peeled to Pajiba as I have a review going up tomorrow but otherwise y'all have a good weekend and you can get it started by hitting the jump for more Charles Melton gifs...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

The History of Sound (2025)

Lionel: I feel I've missed something. How to put this? It's not nostalgia, it's not grief. It's the... hardness of a fact that I should've stayed in Maine. Would I feel differently if we hadn't met? Would I feel now, that I had missed something? But we did meet. And what do I want now? I want the sound of my life, I think. What happens to it all, all the sounds released into the world, never captured? I want all of it. The history of sound.

I always feel bad for actors who've been tasked with speaking the title of the film -- how do you deliver it without it being distracting? It's kind of an impossible task and I think Chris Cooper -- who's celebrating his 75th birthday today, everybody send this treasure a happy one -- was smart to just lean into it since he wasn't just speaking the film's title, he was also delivering the film's final words. Yes the movie ends with its own title which should earn it a groan, but I find this entire timeline jump so moving thanks to Cooper's work that it doesn't. Not from me anyway. I love this movie so dearly. (Here is my review.) Have you gone back and watched it since its release? I think now, without all those annoying "awards bait" expectations crushing in on its slight frame, it breathes even more beautifully than before. It'll have a long, lovely shelf-life. What a beautiful heartbreaker.

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

It's a good time to be Colman Domingo -- he just got two Emmy nominations (for Euphoria and The Four Seasons), he's running around in Italy with his cute husband, he's Colman Domingo. Our man has reason to smile. I'm starting to think Colman here might end up being our first out Oscar winning actor? If Soderbergh's The Christophers had landed harder I'd be holding out hope for the seriously overdue Ian McKellen... but it didn't. (He is great in that movie though.) I am just praying Colman doesn't win this year for Michael -- no I haven't seen it, nor do I have any desire to see it, but come on. Awarding that pedo-celebrating nightmare would be a stain on what should be a celebration. But I suppose that's adding to his good mood -- that movie becoming a massive hit against all... odds, sanity, reason. Aww I didn't make to turn this post into bad thoughts. I am such a Debbie Downer. Sorry, Colman! Go back to your perfect life and ignore lil' ol' me...

You Can't Spell Messiah Without Mess

I know that calling it Dune Part Three will make it feel like a closed trilogy more but I really miss this thing being called Dune:Messiah -- it's just a more interesting title. Do I think that because it might irritate Christians? I'll never tell! (Yes I will -- of course that's the reason.) Anyway the trailer for Dune Whatever has dropped today and surely you've seen it elsewhere -- I just wanted, nay needed, to make that gif of Robert Pattinson so I figured I might as well post the damn thing. That said I am excited about this -- I liked both of the previous movies a lot, even if I maintain against the hype that Austin Butler was terrible in the second one. I have total faith that RPatz will make for a serious upgrade in the anti-Atreidas establishment. 

Dune Whatever (am I just calling it that now?) is out December 18th.

Make Like Ryan Phillippe And Blow

I'm not going to link to all of the posts I did a decade-plus ago whining about how badly I wanted the rumored Director's Cut of writer-director Mark Christopher's 1998 film about the whole Studio 54 thing titled 54 to happen, and then the news that it was happening circa 2015, and then how it happened -- needless to say my reactions were all very close to what's happening on Ryan Phillippe's face here in these gifs. I was excited! But then I don't know what happened -- a fucking decade happened and here it is 2026 and I never got around to watching the Director's Cut even though I owned the blu-ray of it. 

Shiny things! I moved on to the next shiny thing to whine and whinny about. Anyway this realization hit me yesterday when the fine folks at Vinegar Syndrome announced they're releasing a fancy deluxe 4K edition of the out-of-print Director's Cut (also including the original Theatrical Cut) -- you can pre-order that right here as I did, with a firm promise to myself and all you people in the world who frankly couldn't give a shit that I will watch it this time, I swear it. Oh and this post, while informational, is also out of self-interest -- I have now listed my unwatched blu-ray of the Director's Cut of this movie over on eBay for sale, if anybody wants to snatch that up. I actually added a lot onto eBay in the past week or so, so check that out and buy my shit, please. I am drowning in things! Ryan knows how I feel. Right, Ryan?

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... bucking between Miguel Ángel Silvestre's thighs. 

Lucky goddamned horse. (via)