Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, Gratuitous Josh Heuston

From one feast to another -- I hope everyone had a nice holiday! I'm still a little out of sorts from my illness (two weeks in, huzzah) but getting there, thanks for asking. Well enough to come into work and gather up dozens of photos of the latest hottest young thing, Dune Prophecy actor Josh Heuston anyway. Back in May was the first time I posted about (or heard of) Mr. Heuston -- even though you'd think he'd have caught my eye...

... when he played a character named "Zeus' Pretty Boy" in Thor: Love and Thunder). Hrm. Anyway May was when he got cast in a serial killer movie with Jai Courtney called Dangerous Animals that's been directed by The Loved Ones director Sean Byrne -- and yes these are all exciting developments to me personally still, maybe even moreso after having spent this morning staring at Josh's outrageous abdominal muscles. 

These models turned actors, yeesh. Will they ever quit murdering us??? (Also it's good to see also that that Jai movie is listed on IMDb as being in post-production, meaning I'm guessing we'll get to see it sometime in 2025. Gimme!) Anyway I haven't watched any of Dune: Prophecy yet but I have seen gifs of Josh on the show making the rounds and...

... my interest is up, up, up. I actually don't know why I haven't started the show yet, being a Dune fan -- I keep not being in the mood when I open the Max app and see Emily Watson in that great big black headdress staring back at me. Soon though. Soon. For Josh's part he's been doing his best...

... to steer me his direction, appearing on like a dozen magazine covers in the past few months in varying states of undress. Which is what brings us to this morning, this great big gratuitous post. It's a biggun! Took me all morning, it did. Hit the jump for a great big galumph of photos...

What Are You Thankful For?

Alright I guess that is it until after the holiday. Hopefully I'll be sorted out health-wise and raring to go as we plow into awards season and Nosferatu-month.  If you'd like to take a moment in the comments below to tell me what you're thankful for here in this fairly scary time in the world perhaps we can shine a little light for each other in the darkness -- I personally am thankful for all of you people, and...

... for Paul Mescal's thighs. Perhaps not in that order. 

Have a great holiday, my people. And go see Queer!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Shape of Water (2017)

Giles: Oh! God, to be young and beautiful.
If I could go back to when I was 18 - I didn't know anything
about anything - I'd give myself a bit of advice.
Elisa: [in sign language] What would you say?
Giles: I would say: Take better care of your teeth
and fuck, a lot more. Oh no, no, that's very good advice.

Guillermo Del Toro's Best-Picture-winning The Shape of Water is out on Criterion 4K today! I love this movie and will hear no ill words about it -- I think it winning Best Picture was weird but it was 2017. We were all going a little mad. (So maybe we'll have more bonkers atypical Oscar winners ahead! I suppose that can be one bright spot, sigh.) Anyway it's a lovely little movie and Sally Hawkins gives a lovely little performance and when it comes down to it I think we all could stand to fuck more fish. So that's my advice. Fuck more fish. 

Bill Skarsgård Four Times

The last thing I managed to get done last week before the plague took its toll on me was fitting -- I saw Robert Eggers' Nosferatu a third time! (So many plague rats!) And I also went to a reception after that screening and stood a foot away from Mr. Eggers himself. I didn't talk to him because 1) I am really not that guy and 2) I could already feel my voice leaving me. But as my sickness descended over me for the four or so days since I've had nightmares about Nosferatu every single night -- it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility this could have something to do with the fact that I sleep under a Nosferatu poster. That's doubtlessly worming in there. And also part of those nightmares has been me waking up  in the middle of the night to scribble down random phrases for when I write my review of Eggers' movie, so I think part of it is anxiety about wanting to write a worthwhile review for a movie... well I'm still under an embargo until next week and restricted from being explicit in my feelings but  I've seen it three times already -- you do the math. Anyway that'll be next week. For now some new photos of Mr. Bill Skarsgård aka the grand Count Orlok himself. Hit the jump for them all...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

A little Andrew Garfield in We Live in Time goodness this Tuesday morn. Have any of you watched this supposed weepie now that it's available at home? I am always down for a tearjerker but I have to admit this movie jerked very few tears out of me, despite good performances from Andy and Flo -- I felt like its nonlinear time-hopping structure damaged my ability to build an emotional connection with the characters like was needed. Too bad but it gave us Andy bum so twasn't all a waste. 

Anyway, now on to the boring part -- an update on my post yesterday re: being sick. First off thanks to everybody for the kind words! They made my rattling larynx calm a little. I'm still fairly feeble but I did end coming into the office today for a few boring reasons I won't bore you with. Anyway I'm at my desk at least for some of today so you might get a couple posts out of me. Like this one! One down. 

Hey Everybody

Just a heads-up in case any of you worried I might be dead -- nearly! Okay not really but being sick makes me extra dramatic and I have indeed been very very sick for the past five or so days. I completely lost my voice which was a new experience for me -- one I can say with great, freshly learned confidence I really did not like experiencing. Losing your voice really fucking blows, man. It's not Covid, just some random viral hell, but I am still fairly laid up by it and at this point I am not at all sure I'll be up on my feet before the holiday hits on Thursday. We'll see. If you check back and there are new posts between now and then then you'll know, I suppose! If I don't though I do want to direct y'all to my review of Luca Guadagnino's Queer (starring the lovely Drew Starkey, seen above)  since that is out in theaters this week -- read my Queer review right here in case you missed it when it went up during NYFF. And that's all, until it isn't. Honestly typing this much semi-coherent blather exhausted me and I have to go lay down again. Be well, until the next time.

Archie: Romulus

There have been several whoppers of disappointments movie-wise in 2024 and one of them was Fede Alvarez's Alien: Romulus, which I had super high hopes for... as I do with ever Alien movie, super-fan that I am. Here is my review of the film in case you missed it in August. I am hoping that Noah Hawley's spin-off series Alien: Earth (which just got its first teaser, see that here) rights the ship, so to speak -- that's out next summer. For now Romulus has landed on Hulu today and despite my complaints I plan on re-watching it when the opportunity arises (probably over the holiday next week) because part of me feels that I'll like it more with my expectations now dashed on the rocks -- nowhere to go but up! Oh and these two photos are of cute actor Archie Renaux, who plays something or other in the movie -- I don't even remember here three months later haha. You know your movie is memorable when!

Omar Apollo, Queer Boy Supreme

Singer turned actor Omar Apollo only has one scene in Luca Guadagnino's film Queer but it's a scorcher of one, and he's also on the soundtrack with a song called "Te Maldigo" -- on that note (heh get it cuz it's music) a music video for that song has just been released, and it was directed by Luca himself! Watch it here: 

I am hoping that Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross' entire score for the movie gets a big beautiful release like their one for Challengers just did, but this score is a little less showy than that earlier one so there's a chance it might fall into the Bones & All camp where we're still waiting for a record release. (SIGH.) Maybe this song will help! Go listen to this song a million times so we get a release please! Oh and here is a link to my review of Queer in case you missed that during NYFF. Queer is out in six days!

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Since no one was able to guess this one 

yesterday here are five more frames!

Can you guess the movie now?

Good Morning, Nicky

Here's a thing I was happy to stumble on first this this Thursday morning -- Nicholas Hoult photographed for the cover of GQ Germany by gay cowboy photographer Luke Gilford aka also the director of the wonderful film National Anthem with Charlie Plummer earlier this year. (My review here.) Not cowboys this time but Gilford is still exploiting the tropes of masculinity for our homosexual gaze with some rugby boys tumbling about -- thank you, Luke! These are all very vintage A&F right? I suppose it makes sense that vibe might come around. Hit the jump for the full shoot...

Colman Domingo is the Spice of Life

See what I did there? He is the "spice of life" like variety is the spice of life because he's on the cover of Variety? God what a wordsmith. Put me in the Smithsonian, I am on fire. Actually okay it is Colman who is on fire in this photoshoot -- you can read the interview here but we all know what you're here for. Hit the jump for the entire fiery photoshoot...

Jack Lowden Three Times

Obviously we're hoping that there turn out to be more than three of these photos of Jack Lowden in the new issue of Man About Town magazine (via) because one, we adore Jack -- so talented, so pretty, so Saoirse approved. But two -- this shoot so far (shot by Matt Easton) is a hot hot hot especially hot one and they gotta be more generous with these. We've been through a hell of a week (slash decade) -- prop us up, Man About Town, please!

Good Morning, World

Denzel Washington has been on my brain a lot since seeing Gladiator II a few weeks back -- and being in his rarefied movie-star presence for the Q&A after my screening! I wrote a bit about that movie's questionable queer villany yesterday, but Denzel comes out pretty clean from that nonsense. This led me to finally get around to seeing Mira Nair's 1991 cross-cultural romance Mississippi Masala for the first time the other night though and I am glad I did. It's beautifully shot (another masterwork by Ed Lachman!) and deliciously sweet, and Denzel is very good in it. You can definitely tell it's Sarita Choudhury's first movie role -- she's pretty wobbly at times. But also so gorgeous you kinda don't care. That said Denzel is dare I say even more gorgeous, which is the real reason we're here this morning. (This was the same sizzling year that his naked locked-room scene in Ricochet permanently seared itself onto my little impressionable gay-in-training brain.) I made gifs of from a few of his sexiest moments in the movie, and I've got them all here after the jump...

2 Sissies 2 Gladiator

This isn't a review of Gladiator II -- I don't think I am writing one since somebody more enthusiastic about the property was assigned it at Pajiba. I could write a proper review of it here if I felt like it but take all of this blathering as proof that no, I do not feel like it. There's a lot of fun silliness to the movie to enjoy -- for one Denzel Washington is, as you've likely heard by now, having the time of his life. Every second he's on-screen is a blast. And the battle scene where they fill the Colosseum up with water, ships, and SHARKS -- that shit is bananas. Probably worth the price of admission alone. 

But I left the movie in the most foul of moods despite that excessive goofiness (and Paul Mescal's thighs) because in Joseph Quinn's Emperor Geta and especially in Fred Hechinger's Emperor Caracalla the film trades in a nasty retrograde throwback to the sorts of vile queer villains we haven't seen since the simpering faggot prince in Mel Gibson's Braveheart. You can't even call Geta and Caracalla queer-coded since they've got a harem of made-up lady-boys in waiting. The boys are big ol' sissies. Sneering sissy stereotypes.

They're awful, pasty, deceitful, cruel, sickly, and most of all weak. Caracalla is going mad from syphilis and anoints his monkey to be his number one advisor. Brothers, they turn on each other in a split second. They are jokes meant to be laughed at, and we're meant to celebrate their downfalls brought on by their lascivious queerness. It's crowds cheering on Mel Gibson killing the perfumed fag all over again.

I suppose that, in the interest of widening the queer window, Denzel Washington's Macrinus is meant to be bisexual since in the final film he has a throwaway line about being with men. But it could be read in a couple of ways -- he could be saying women are a lot of bother, and not that he's actually been with any men. And of course Denzel made headlines this week when he said he'd had a kiss with a male actor that got cut out of the film -- this seemed to me to be an early strike out because they knew they were going to get headlines on this subject. (I personally told the PR people I was offended by the movie's throwback queer representation, and I spoke to several other critics who felt the same way.)

But Macrinus, as much fun as Denzel is having playing him, is still a villain. And his comeuppance is the film's biggest cheer moment of all. But since he's a much more rounded-out character if it had been just him as the queer villain I would've been fine with it. I don't hate a queer villain when done right! 

Honestly -- and this bit is probably crucial in my read of the movie -- I also just don't think Ridley Scott has earned the benefit of the doubt in his career on this subject. What has he done for us? Michael Fassbender making out with his clone-twin in Covenant? My point exactly. More of the same. Ryan Phillippe in soaking wet tighty-whities in White Squall? Okay, well I will give him that one.

In all seriousness though the problem is that all of Gladiator II's main villains are the queer people. And all of the film's heroes are boring straights, pining for their ladies. At first there are a bit of homoerotic Midnight Express vibes happening between Paul Mescal's imprisoned character and the doctor who tends his wounds and I thought okay, maybe they'll queer him up too. But their conversations inevitably devolve into talk of their lady loves, almost to the point where it feels like the script having its own moment  of gay panic -- there doesn't seem much reason for the conversation except to define them as two lady-loving bros just shooting the shit! No homo!

I know the argument exists that there's "historical accuracy" to some of these characterizations. (As if this movie feels much fealty to history!) That doesn't take into mind the fact that history has been written by the homophobes for centuries. We have been cast as the villains for as long as storytelling has existed. The stray cards that will knock the whole hetero family unit down for good, et cetera.

And given what just happened in this country election-wise, I do feel it's especially important right now to point this shit out. But I'll be curious to hear what y'all think when you see the movie -- if you're offended or if you think I'd read too much into it. So come back and comment down below once you have.

For the record (name and shame) the movies were in order Gladiator II, the slasher film Director’s Cut, Heretic obviously, and of course Anora (which I’ve made my discomfort re: its use of the f slur known already)

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) November 8, 2024