Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Private Hells For Everybody!

Nicholas Winding Refn's latest movie Her Private Hell starring Sophie Thatcher and Charles Melton among others is about to premiere at Cannes, so today they dropped the teaser -- Thatcher and Melton (and Charles Melton's tits) are the main focus of it so I am assuming they're the main characters, our leading lady and lad. And tits.

As I told you back on the 1st we don't have forever ages to go until we can see this ourselves -- Neon is releasing it on July 24th. Thank goodness. Looks like a perfect Summer Movie -- really all Refn movies are Summer Movies. Everybody is hot and sweaty and mean. Anyway the teaser gives away very little -- just showcases NWR's style, the real star of the show, so feel free to watch: 

Pumping Jonathan Bailey

Gays supporting gays! You love to see it, especially when they're this hot and Jonny Bailey's popping a bicep like that -- the only good thing in the Wicked movies went to see Luke Evans and his headline-grabbing bulge in the new staging of Rocky Horror this weekend and we were all graced with this perfect moment captured. Huzzah. Anyway even though I could do a whole post for just that picture I have got something else on deck -- Deadline reported this morning that Mr. Bailey will be starring opposite one Natalie Portman in a movie called, ahem, Pumping Black. Is that an actual term that cyclists use? Because it's a movie about cyclists -- Jonny will be playing one who's aging out of the sport who gets taken under the nefarious wing of Portman's character, a doctor who "will stop at nothing" to win. So Pumping Black Swan, basically. Good lord -- I'm sorry, you can't put "pumping" in your movie title no matter what, but especially not with Jonathan Bailey there.  Am I really expected to spend the next, what, year, year and a half, no being sent into a tailspin whenever I think about these things together?? 

Good Morning, World

I am just going to assume that most of you who care about such things already saw the photos of Finn Jones here on the set of the next season of Daredevil Born Again, meaning a controversial return for him to the Iron Fist character -- those give me some sort of reason to be talking about Finn Jones at all, who I haven't seen in anything since then. I'll be damned though if he doesn't look perhaps the best he's ever looked in these new photos here though, so good on ya, Finn. I never watched Iron Fist, I only knew him via the group-up series The Defenders (plus his gay bit on Game of Thrones of course) and he left little impression on me (with Charlie Cox and Mike Colter standing there who stood a chance)  but I am willing and open to what ya got to bring now, Finn. Anyway! Happy Monday! I have a busy day ahead so it might be a little quiet. We shall see. 

Nicholas Hoult Wants To Play Master

I don't know if you kept checking back on my post of photos of Nicholas Hoult rocking this leather ensemble at the Met Gala the other week but if you only saw it the one time I recommend going back and scanning down as I went off. And with good reason! And I'm extremely thankful to've found even more photos from that blessed event today because we've got Nicky News to share and I wouldn't want to share it with any other photos. And it's super duper incredible Nicky News too. Hhe is teaming up with God's Own Country filmmaker Francis Lee -- right??? We're already excited -- to remake the 1963 Joseph Losey classic of homoerotic domination The Servant! (thx Mac) I only saw The Servant (which stars Dirk Bogarde and a delicious James Fox) this past year for the first time when Criterion released it and it is already hot hot hot stuff in that very restrained and coded way of its time -- wondering how Lee will update this all has me... 

... feeling things. The same sort of things these pictures of Nicky wearing leather makes me feel, actually. Anyway I'm not even done with all the incredible news here -- Hoult (who's playing the Fox role of course) will be starring opposite Colman Domingo in the Bogarde role of the man-servant who flips the script on his boss-man. Lee's version will relocate the story from the Swinging 60s in London of the original movie to 1950s New York -- and the fact that race has entered the chat due to Colman's casting will surely add some wrinkles when it comes to the power dynamics between the two men. Anyway as if all of THAT wasn't enough (and it was!) Hamnet hottie Noah Jupe (click here, click here) is also in the cast. This is unfathomably awesome movie news to end the week with! 

Time To Get Obsessed With Michael Johnston

I thought I might spend 2026 feeling more in line with my fellow critics on the horror movies than I did in 2025 -- when I wasn't jiving with movies lik Weapons and Good Boy that my peers were loving -- but my reaction to Obsession, writer-director Curry Barker's extremely well recieved new horror flick out in theaters now, has me second-guessing that instinct. Ciuz I didn't like it! Okay that's a bit harsh -- there are things I do like about it and I do mention them in my review which just dropped over at Pajiba, read it. But generally I think it's not nearly as daring as it believes itself to be -- although one thing I didn't mention there that I will mention here is that the film's leading man is played by that handsome fellow seen above; his name is Michael Johnston and I guess he was on the Teen Wolf series? 

I thought we'd run out of hot guys from that show by now who would force me to once again point out I never watched that show, but here we are. Anyway Johnston is good as the lead and he is very cute and, most importantly, he is also apparently openly gay! We love that for him! And for us! And our imaginations later. (He shows off his bum in the movie and it's one helluva bum y'all.) Anyway I bring up this fact not (just) so I could talk about his bum, but because the fact that casting a gay dude in this role is itself an extra-textual point in the movie's plus column. The movie is working very hard to obliterate the sad boy mindsets of incel straight dudes, and casting a gay guy to play that part is finely subversive stuff. I still think the movie doesn't really succeed with what it's trying to do for reasons I explain in the above-linked review, but it's got stuff going for it! My thoughts are really more mid than they are hateful. And hey that's something. Also something -- Google is telling me Mr. Johnston is partnered with a filmmaker named Anthony Sellitti who you can see below and umm... my goodness.

Tie Him Up With Ribbons

Twee gay absurdist and MNPP fave (as if calling someone a "twee gay absurdist" wouldn't already imply "MNPP fave" all on its own) Julio Torres is releasing a new book this year! It's called The Perfect Gift and in it Torres shares ideas and illustrations of gift ideas -- I'm sure it will take that concept to the same sort of bizarre conceptual places that his treatises on color did in his show Color Theories. (Which P.S. is now streaming on HBO Max!) The book's out in November and you can pre-order it right here -- below is one of the pages from the book to give you an idea of what you're in for. God I love him. I gotta re-watch Problemista stat.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

North By Northwest (1959)

Phillip Vandamm: Seems to me you fellows 

could stand  a little less training from the F.B.I. 

and a little more from the Actor's Studio.

Granted I've seen this movie approximately one thousand times but can't you just hear James Mason purring out that rejoinder? God what a voice that man had. I've already used one of these posts a few years back to expound upon the implied homosexual connection between Mason's character and his favorite side-piece henchman played by Martin Landau, but I could go on about how James Mason is like the paltonic ideal of a Hitchcock Baddie for days. Smooth as hell, a gentleman to the end, unspooling a truly ridiculous plot via ludicrous means -- sure why not send Cary Grant to the middle of nowhere to be shot at by a crop duster? Why not, I say! Anyway Mason was born 117 years ago today -- go watch one of his movies! You will not be disappointed. He was always the man.

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

While the discussion I started on Bluesky (see below) on whether Dune Prophecy and Dangerous Animals actor Josh Heuston is actually a human being or if he is computer-generated rages on here's further proof via his Insta that he is indeed a special-effect. (click to embiggen) Dude is fucking unreal, good grief. I guess he's on some slutty hockey show (non-Heated-Rivalry-edition) right now? Who foresaw slutty hockey shows taking over the world? I sure didn't. Anyway I'm in one hell of a mood this morning due to some dickery from my nemesis the post office so thank you, Josh, for distracting me temporarily. Let's get this Friday over with.

Have we decided whether Josh Heuston is A.I. yet

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— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) May 13, 2026 at 1:13 PM

Jon Bernthal Ten Times

I thought I might save this Esquire magazine photoshoot of Jon Bernthal (which dropped earlier this week) for after I watched the spin-off Punisher episode that dropped after Daredevil finished its latest season, but... well time, man. Time! it is impossible. Never enough. I only just got to The Comeback finale last night  (masterpiece; give Lisa Kudrow her Emmy dammit) and I'm a couple of episodes behind on Half Man (and hello to the person who keeps yelling at me for not writing about that show) so this Punisher shit's just waiting for this weekend at this point. 

So I can no longer excuse keeping these photos from you! Because you obviously had no access to them until right now, as I share them, as I am the only website you visit. The only website you know of! Listen that might sound like nonsense but when the A.I. bots eat up everything else I promise you can still come over here and I'll be rambling nonsense like this alongside photos that have nothing to do with what I am talking about. That's my promise to you! Awful messy human blather. Lucky! On that note hit the jump for the photos...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Close (2022)

Léo: Imagine that you are a very small chicken. You just hatched. You just opened your eyes for the first time. All ducks are yellow. And you too... But you are much more beautiful than the rest. You are special.

A happy 35 to beautiful gay Belgian director Lukas Dhont today! I never saw his controversial first film Girl (which has a cisgender actor playing a trans girl) but I loved his follow-up Close very very very much -- here is my review. If you still haven't seen it fix that! It's a stunning rumination on the fraught bonds between confused young boys that took me right back to the extraordinary pain and beauty of those years and those relationships of my own. Anyway checking to see what Dhont's got cooking...

... since it's been four years, my man, and I see that he has already finished his follow-up ! Indeed because I ignore Cannes stuff as much as possible I am just realizing it's screening at Cannes this very week! Never come to me for Cannes stuff y'all. I purposefully drag my feet. Anyway it's called Coward and it's about two Belgian soldiers who, during World War I find romance (I'm assuming) while staging cross-dressing theatrical performances in the field. There is a great chat with Dhont over at THR from just two days ago -- read it here. Can't wait to see this! 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

A few weeks back I shared with you a photo of the front view of Noah Centineo shooting his memorable scene in the 2026 film Our Hero Balthazar -- far be it from me to deny us a back view now that it's available. (thx Mac) I still hate the existence of that shirt though. Set that shirt on fire! Bastard shirt! I mean we know you're not shy, Noah. (And that link ain't the half of it.) 

ETA the longer I have stared at this photo today (every time I scroll down the site it catches my eye anew) the more I convinced myself that I needed to face Noah off with Phil Dunster's similarly way too small and tight black briefs in Ted Lasso (seen here) -- it's the battle of the pinched butt-cheeks!

online polls

Please David Jonsson Don't Hurt 'Em

There isn't a whole lot of information to share on this project but the information we do have, which is the people involved with it, is enough to warrant a post -- Babygirl and Bodies Bodies Bodies writer-director Halina Reijn's next project is called Please and it is set to star Industry and Alien Romulus actor David Jonsson as well as a little fresh-faced somebody named Connor Storrie who you've perhaps heard of on this very website before. Oh also singer Gracie Abrams and the great Tom Burke of Living and Black Bag fame. Anyway that's it, that's all the info we got, save that Reijn's working with A24 again which makes sense. So we'll keep our eyes and ears and you know other parts attuned to this frequency to share further information down the road. For now enjoy these two very sexy photos of David! (I hope he comes back for the final season of Industry. I hated the way his gay character just disappeared. He needs to come back so he can fuck Sir Henry, dammit!)

5 Off My Head: The Steak F*cker Supreme

The sparkling vampire with the iconic up-do is celebrating his 40th today! Robert Pattinson aka RPattz is officially the big four-oh, slamming the door not just on twinkdom but twunkdom altogether. Which is fine by me because our man just keeps getting better and finer with age -- I don't care what people are saying about his wonky accent work in The Odyssey or Dune 3 trailers, as I love it when Rob gifts us a wonky accent. Remember his Pepé Le Pew accent work in The King? 

You probably don't remember that, because who remembers The King. But it made that entire movie spring to life, it did, I swear. Anyway I'm going to finally give you my list of five favorite performances now, and lemme tell you -- one of these is a favorite quite possibly entirely due to the accent he adopts for the film. (I won't say which one and it could go for several but I mean one specifically and if you've seen it you probably know what one I'm talking about.) Anyway it took some time (I still haven't seen a single Twilight movie) but I've fully come to love it whenever Rob shows up anywhere -- I do miss...

... the interviews where he'd gleefully spit out nonsense like how he really jerked off on camera because he couldn't fake an oh-face for that Gay Salvador Dali movie he made, but I guess he's 40 now. He has to be semi-respectable. Hehe "semi." Well clearly turning 40 didn't make me grow up! Take note, Rob!

My 5 Favorite Robert Pattinson Performances

Connie, Good Time

"You know what, tonight, as fucked up as it is, I just think... I think something very important is happening and it's deeply connected to my purpose. And I think that you are somehow connected to it as well. I mean, do you feel me at all? Or do I just sound like a total faggot?"

Thomas, The Lighthouse

"Goddamn yer farts! You smell like piss, you smell like jism, like rotten dick, like curdled foreskin, like hot onions fucked a farmyard shit-house. "

Jackson, Die My Love

"Maybe if I spend a little less time with my hands down my pants and a little more time writing, maybe I'd write something, maybe."

Monte, High Life

"The sensation of moving backwards even though we are moving forwards, getting further from what's getting nearer, sometimes I just can't stand it."

Samuel, Damsel

"Regular horses don't have names,
they're just, uh, you know, regular."

-------------------------------

Runners-up: Mickey 17, The Lost City of Z,
Cosmopolis, Maps To the Stars 

 So what are your favorites?