Give This Piece a Chance

I'm trying to will the care-free mood seen in this photo of Charles Melton into my own existence today -- spoiler alert: it ain't working. I don't know if my partner was punching me in the side of the head all night long as I slept (no this is not a cry for help) but I woke up feeling like I didn't sleep a single second last night, and I be draggggggging my ass this Thursday. This is pointless information for anyone who isn't "me" I know but it's good that I remind myself that this site is just a stupid fucking blog sometimes and I don't have to feel bad about insubstantial content. Tis my prerogative! Is it weird that typing that word out always makes me want to eat pierogies? In summation -- aren't you glad you just wasted one minute of your life reading this post? You're welcome. Any time. 

ETA Just got word my office is closing tomorrow so I am officially giving up for the long weekend. Hands in air, Jason don't care. I'm headed to a screening in half an hour (Backrooms baby!) and then I'm off until Tuesday. I should add since we're doing Accounting Of My Time here that NewFest and Tribeca Fest stuff start plaguing / entertaining me next week so my schedule's about to get nuts again -- on the positive side Summer Fridays at my day-job also kick off... well tomorrow now, I guess. Which means four-day weeks through Labor Day. Yes I am rambling! Let me ramble! I have half an hour to kill and need to stop fussing over my Tribeca schedule, which is much of what I've been working on this week. Anyway stay tuned -- coverage of those fests and lots more to come! Probably including me choking to death on my own bile! Have a great holiday weekend! Think of me like this (if you think of me at all):

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... giving Charlie Cox healthy bones.

Milk does a body good, baby! It also does a Cox good. 

Okay enough slutty tomfoolery.

Here's the context, if you must.

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Lakeith Stanfield Six Times

Hey people! Just got to my desk after having a screening this morning so I will make up for lost time now with these here photos of the ever handsome Lakeith Stanfield for Esquire magazine. You can read his interview here -- he's promoting Boots Riley's new movie I Love Boosters which hits theaters tomorrow (did you see I hit the pop-up in NYC yesterday afternoon for some movie merch?) Anyway having seen ILB I can say with genuine authority it's a blast and I thoroughly recommend -- not sure whether I'll be reviewing it or not but two movies in I'm big-time Team Boots; I adore his brand of chaotic nosnense. He was made for me! Also made for me -- Lakeith. Maybe news to Lakeith but it's true. So hit the jump for the new photos of my fella...

Turn My Frown Upside Down, Pedro Pascal

I'm really loath to be a sour bitch about the news of Park Chan-wook making another movie -- and a movie back here in the U.S. no less, his first since Stoker! (He has made two T.V. series in English since then -- The Little Drummer Girl in 2018 and The Sympathizer in 2024.) But much like the casting of Robert Downey Jr. in The Sympathizer the casting news today is making this news more bitter than sweet for me -- Variety is reporting that he's planning on making a Western called The Brigands of Rattlecreek next (fantastic title) that will star two people I like in Pedro Pascal and Tang Wei, and two people I very very much do not like in Matthew McConaughey and Austin Butler. To be fair McConaughey and Butler have both given performances I've liked in the past -- McConaughey in Magic Mike, Butler in The Bikeriders and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood -- but seeing their names generally fills me more with dread than it does anticipation. I find the hype around Butler particularly inexplicable. (He is terrible in Dune 2. TERRIBLE.) And since The Sympathizer remains the only project of Park's that I have very little desire to revisit thanks to RDJ stinking that thing up, lisping around like a gross caricaiture, the still sore burn of recent bias eats away at me, reading this news. SIGH. I will attempt to be a bigger man, dig up some tatters of optimism from deep, deep within. Here is how they describe the story:

"The Brigands of Rattlecreek is described as 'an iconic tale of vengeance and retribution set in the American West.' A synopsis of the project explains: 'A capstone of the themes Park Chan-wook has plumbed across his entire body of work to date, the film is an emotionally explosive and visually stunning meditation on the consequences of violence, the value of family, the power of memory, and the true cost of life.'"

Tyriq Withers Fourteen Times

Did y'all see the rumor (nevermind, they confirmed it) that the stunning Tyriq Withers here of Him and Reminder of Him (him fetish much), as well as the I Know What You Did Last Summer reboot's memorable sauna scene, is dating Best Picture winner One Battle After Another breakout star Chase Infiniti? I think they make a pretty, pretty, pretty couple but this definitely throws a wrench in my "Tyriq is one of us" pet theory. (Did y'all SEE the video of him talking about Heated Rivalry?) I suppose he could just be bi, like all actors. (Every. Single. One.) Whatever -- this doesn't deflate my imagination of our whirlwind romance and short-lived marriage. (We would just be too passionate to stay together...

... but we'd both cherish the memories forever, and there would be several reunions over the decades that left many a hotel room smashed to bits.) Anyway our future ex-Mr. Adams-Withers  is one of the cover stars of the new issue of Numero Netherlands doing his whole dreamboat thing that he does so well -- there's a conversation with him at this link that I am saving to read over my lunch-break but y'all should feel free to go ahead and read it now. Don't wait for me by any means! Or you could just hit the jump where I've gathered up all of the hot man's new photos of him (him again!) being hot...

 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

She Is Ann Lee, Hear Her Roar

One of last year's most slept on upon great movies was Mona Fastvold's The Testament of Ann Lee, a rapturous musical  starring Amanda Seyfried as the Shaker founder -- the film was weird and unexpected and in the words of Anya Jenkins "never going to become a breakaway pop hit." Still it made my top ten of the year and what are we doing here if we're not believing what I say??? But since the movie didn't do well at the box office or the awards bodies it seemed as if getting a physical media release of the thing was D.O.A. -- I still don't know if we'll ever get a blu-ray (there were headlines when it hit VOD that it indeed wouldn't be getting this) but thankfully one barrier's now been smashed down as Milan Records has announced the soundtrack from the great Daniel Blumberg IS getting a vinyl release, and you can pre-order it right here. Hooray! This score is absolutely gorgeous -- being a non-musical person this is exactly what I want from my "musicals" honestly. Real music! That lands in September -- and hey maybe if the thing sells well they'll give us a goddamned blu-ray of the movie itself. Sorry, Ann Lee -- a "gosh-darned" blu-ray, I meant to say. Anyway I guess THE MAN Daniel Blumberg has enough sway to get his shit released, as HE did with THE MAN Brady Corbet's The Brutalist -- THE WOMAN writer-director and WIFE of Brady Corbet Mona Fastvold should try being more of a MAN I guess. (Sexism comes in all forms, y'all.)

Good Morning, World

It doesn't seem right that I've brought up the hot hockey show Off Campus a couple of times now thanks to actor Josh Heuston -- who's on it but doesn't even play a hot hockey player -- without mentioning actor Belmont Cameli, who's on the show and very much plays a hot hockey player. Indeed he even gives us a soapy gratuitous shower scene for the ages therein. (I only know this because I frequent the internet places where such gifs are freely available -- I have not watched the show.) And what with it being Hump Day it only feels even more appropriate to share these gifs -- and a sidenote: I imagine we'll revisit Belmont down the road as even without having seen the boy in anything I've already got a folder fulla goodies, but for now we'll rein ourself in to the subject at hand. Hit the jump for the hot humpy hockey boy gifs...

Pillion Reaching Completion

It's been a long hard ride for Pillion and the people who love it -- the dom-com starring Alexander Skarsgård and Harry Melling edged us all fall awards season long (I saw and reviewed it at NYFF in October) only to wait until February to give us a U.S. theatrical release proper. The Oscars ignored it (because of course they did, they're lame) and I put it in my top five movies of the year, and now after all this time, it's finally coming... out on blu-ray! A24 dropped the pre-order earlier today -- grab it at this link. I don't really understand why it's not 4K but at least they're promising the "unrated  theatrical cut" which... I have no idea what that means to be honest. I saw it like three times but they were all in the fall during festival and awards screenings -- I never could really suss out what cut was what after that. I guess I'll know when I sit down and watch this after it ships out in July. Just in time for my birthday! Bend me over a picnic table and give me my present, Alex! 

Where There's a Will...

I have a screening this afternoon. The movie may or may not have this fellow in it. I'm not saying! But I am going to put him in front of you until I'm back in a couple of hours anyway. Bye til then.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Body Heat (1981)

Ned: Maybe you shouldn't dress like that.

Matty: This is a blouse and a skirt. 

I don't know what you're talking about.

Ned: You shouldn't wear that body.

God there is so much snappy dialogue in Body Heat, I love it so much -- I could've chosen a dozen other lines to highlight (see also here); it's why I think it's one of the most successful of the neo-noirs that popped up in the 70s and 80s (alongside Chinatown of course). The dialogue harkens beautifully back to the genre's heyday where the verbal playfulness between the lovers-to-be reveals not just their desire but their danger -- anybody who can whip out a double entendre this fast isn't to be trusted. And it also helps when the people are as sexy as William Hurt and Kathleen Turner are in this scorcher. Anyway we're here of course because Lawrence Kasdan's sweaty masterpiece is hitting 4K thanks to the Criterion Collection today -- go snatch up a copy stat! How hot is that cover art too? Humina humina!

Ten Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Since no one has guessed yet

here are five more frames to help!

Now can you guess the movie?

Good Morning, World

Well blessings be upon us this Tuesday morning -- Mr. Colman Domingo has gone and covered Men's Health this week and granted us a photoshoot for the ages. This man is 56 y'all. FIFTY-SIX. I don't even have words. I will add this feels significant though because we've got an out gay black man on the cover of Men's Health -- granted I think, given all the coverage I've given this magazine for its slutty shoots over the past few years, this magazine skews gayer than it did when I was a wee gayling sneaking glances in the grocery-store checkout line. But still. Go on, Colman. He's proved himself a legend, an icon, by now, I think. So hit the jump for an iconic(ally sexy) shoot...

Who's Getting Safe in August? We All Are!

I don't mean to besmirch the rest of Criterion's just today announced line-up for August 2026 but when the headliner is Todd Haynes' 1995 masterpiece Safe getting a 4K upgrade I'm going to be somewhat hyper-focused. Haynes has several masterpieces under his belt but I'd say this is the crown-jewel -- or to continue the belt metaphor this would be the buckle. And now I need to own a belt buckle that has that famous image from the poster of that woman in her white body-suit lurching like Bigfoot through a field. (Which reminds me that I own a copy of the original Safe poster and how the hell is that not hanging on my wall?) Anyway I couldn't cough up enough superlatives about this movie -- I think it's one of the greatest American films ever made, and it only feels more resonant and affecting with every year that passes. While I'm still dying for Velvet Goldmine to get an upgrade already -- long long long overdue, that one -- the ocassion of Safe in 4K is a hallelujah moment if ever there was one. That lands on August 4th.

Safe aside August will also bring a double-feature of Barbara Kopple documentaries -- her most celerated one Harlan County USA from 1976 is getting the 4K upgrade from a previous release, while 1990's American Dream, about a labor strike in Austin in the mid0-80s is hitting the Collection for the first time. I've never seen the latter so that'll be something to look forward to. 

Next up is French legend Bertrand Tavernier's 1981 classic Coup de torchon starring Isabelle Huppert in a Jim Thompson adaptation about a corrupt cop in West Africa and the dangerous and unprectiable gal he falls for. "Dangerous and Unpredictable" -- has there ever been  a quicker distillation of The Whole Huppert Thing? After that there's James Gray's directorial debut Little Odessa from 1994 -- I have never seen this! Could this be the movie that convinces me James Gray deserves the hype people throw on him? Because I have yet to really get it. With a cast that includes Tim Roth, Vanessa Redgrave, Maximillian Schell, and Edward Furlong... uhh I don't know where I was going with that. With every name that list of names got weirder and weirder and threw me off. Anyway the final August release from our favorite physical media barons is a box-set of documentaries from the Japanese legends Kazuo Hara & Sachiko Kobayashi -- Extreme Private Eros: Love Song 1974 and The Emperor’s Naked Army Marches On have both been on my To Watch list for years and years so I embrace this golden opportunity to fill them holes. In summation -- SAFE IN 4K!!!!!!

Double Oh Arty

I just happened to be looking at that picture of Daredevil villain and Downton fop Arty Froushan this morning -- "just happened" -- and it struck me: why not Arty for James Bond? He was born in the U.S. but was raised by his British mother in London -- they want someone younger and he's only 33. We need to be putting Arty's name (and everything else) into the conversation! They just started officially casting last week (although I have my doubts that they haven't been having conversations with actors and their own team at Amazon behind the scenes for months) and who knows where they're going with the franchise but I think all roads should lead to Arty. I have just decided it right now. Nothing else will make me happy. And you won't like me when I'm angry, Jeff Bezos! (Also fuck you, Jeff Bezos.) Anyway 007 or not I have now posted that photo above so my mission is accomplished. (Ooh an Ethan Hunt reboot! I know who'd be perfect for that!)

Josh Heuston Eight Times

Much as many of us would like to seize his something-or-other, Josh Heuston is sezing his moment with the release of his horny hockey series Off Campus -- yes, there's another one, only not gay unfortunately -- with a photoshoot worth the word "shoot" in all its many meanings for Artchive magazine. We just posted about Josh on Friday thanks to a slutty selfie and here we are again -- I would beg, Josh, but I am glad you're not making us. Hit the jump for the rest of your (ahem) shoot... 

Private Hells For Everybody!

Nicholas Winding Refn's latest movie Her Private Hell starring Sophie Thatcher and Charles Melton among others is about to premiere at Cannes, so today they dropped the teaser -- Thatcher and Melton (and Charles Melton's tits) are the main focus of it so I am assuming they're the main characters, our leading lady and lad. And tits.

As I told you back on the 1st we don't have forever ages to go until we can see this ourselves -- Neon is releasing it on July 24th. Thank goodness. Looks like a perfect Summer Movie -- really all Refn movies are Summer Movies. Everybody is hot and sweaty and mean. Anyway the teaser gives away very little -- just showcases NWR's style, the real star of the show, so feel free to watch: