The Monkey in 400 Words

Although it'd be neat if he wants to hang out sometime since he seems like a rad dude (just saying) I don't personally know Osgood Perkins, sometimes actor, son of Psycho star Anthony, and the quickly-becoming-his-own-brand horror director of The Blackcoat's Daughter, Longlegs, and my til-now-favorite Gretel & Hansel. And yet it's impossible to not think while watching his latest movie, the Stephen King adpatation The Monkey, that this feels like an extraordinarily personal movie for the man. 

Like I said -- I don't know him. And yet knowing what I do -- having watched him speak eloquently in Bryan Fuller's horror doc Queer For Fear about his closeted father's tumultuous relationship with the character of Norman Bates and his death from AIDS, and also knowing that Osgood's mother, the actress Berry Berenson, was killed in one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center on 9/11 -- the thematic threads of cursed familial chaos passed down patriarchally that thrum though The Monkey feel, you know, fairly pointed! Notable. Of note. Resonant. And then when planes on fire start falling out of the sky? Can you blame me? These thoughts are right there for the taking.

The Monkey also feels the closest Oz has gotten to date to his father's wild late career work -- the absurdly nasty black humor on display here is very close to the Tony-directed Psycho III, or to his father's oh let's say lurid performance in Ken Russell's Crimes of Passion. This movie is bleak and pitch-black hearted and finds the absurd pointlessness of human existence to be a ribald punchline. It's of a piece with the Final Destination movies, but if they were less Rube Goldberg and more Albert Camus on acid. 

It also might be, all due apologies to Gretel, my new favorite movie of Oz's. It'll definitely take a second viewing to decide that because The Monkey is so tonally erratic and balls deep wackadoo that it's hard to decide from moment to moment if this shit's anarchic genius or gallumphing mess. Hell maybe it's both! But in a world of so much personality-free I.P.-driven "content", The Monkey feels so bloody particular, so preposterously gonzo, that I must slow-clap it for audacity alone. (If you liked last year's Cuckoo, which I've come to appreciate more and more with distance for how by-its-own-rules it flew, this should also be your cuppa.)

Charlie Cox Eight Times

My decades of love for Charlie Cox has weathered many a storm -- I mean he has been shaving his furry perfect chest for a full fucking decade now to play Daredevil! How much is one furry-chest-lover supposed to take? So the fact that this new photoshoot of him for British GQ is kind of boring, I can take it. The suffering has already taken its toll, etched itself into the lines of my face and of my soul -- what's one boring photoshoot compared to the agonies he's long since put me through? 

I am, in case you didn't get it, exaggerating a little bit -- impossible to not make my heart go pitter-patter, Charlie looks adorable as ever. And I actually like most of the clothes he's wearing. These days that's never to be taken for granted. (I really really love the outfit he's wearing on the cover, seen down below.) Things could be worse! Most important of all -- at least I can see via his plunging neckline that his chest is properly hairy here! We'll hold onto that much, clutch that to our heart, and we will carry on. 12 days until Daredevil returns!!! Hit the jump for the rest...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Streamers (1983)

Cokes: Hey, hey. Why is he crying?

Roger: He's crying because he's a queer.

Cokes: You a queer, boy?

Richie: Yes, Sergeant.

Cokes: How long you been a queer?

Richie: I don't know.

Roger: All of his fucking life.

Cokes: Don't be talking mean at him. Ain't two months ago, 

maybe even yesterday, I called a kid who was a queer a lot 

of awful names. Now I just want to be figuring things out.

Richie: I don't know what's hurting in me. 

I don't know what's hurting in me.

Cokes: Oh, no, no, boy. You listen to me.
You're going to be okay. There's a lot

of worse things than being a queer in this world. 

I mean, you could have leukemia. That's worse.

The king Robert Altman was born 100 years ago today!

Tell me your five favorite Altman movies in the comments.

Run Daniel Craig Run

Yes that might be a picture of Daniel Craig there but if you've come around here anticipating a post from me about James Bond being sold off to Amazon you're outta the luck because I couldn't give a shit -- I famously never saw a single 007 movie until Craig suited up and while I saw all and enjoyed most of those, and even went back and saw a couple handfuls of the earlier films over that time, I still would be fine if the character was dropped off a cliff now. Who the fuck cares? Tell new stories dammit. Bond is picked-clean Boomer leftovers and if you change the character too much you'll satisfy nobody. (And if you return the character to its actual origins you'll only please the cretins.) So let's movie on. 

Okay I said this wasn't a post about that and yet here I am rambling on. At least the more I ramble the more photos of Daniel you get to fill up the space -- be happy about my rambling then! No I'm here to touch on the other Danny-boy news -- namely that he has yanked himself violently out of Luca Guadagnino's clutches, and he will not star in Luca's supposed DC superhero movie (I still cannot believe this will be a thing) Sgt. Rock. The two of course collaborated last year on (my beloved) Queer -- Deadline says no reason's been given for the departure but I hope Daniel doesn't hate Luca now because he didn't get an Oscar nomination. That's where my petty mind goes anyway. But maybe he just saw the writing on the wall that this project seems to be a bit of nonsense. I mean I love that Luca wants to challenge himself but yeesh what an idea. Not that I want Luca to turn his sights toward that nonsensical American Psycho remake either! Deadline says there are other actors (including Jeremy Allen White) in the running to step into Daniel's combat boots. Whatever. Make your money, Luca. I don't want him in the poor house like Brady Corbet!

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

I See Paul Mescal's Underpants

Given how world class good looking Paul Mescal is, it took me a minute of staring at these new photos of him for Vogue magazine to realize he's been yanked into the unfortunate orbit of recent runway style that's had the waistbands of boxer shorts showing above a trousers natural waist -- and listen. I like thinking about what Paul Mescal is wearing under his suit as much as the next guy. But I don't think I can co-sign this trend. I know it's just a coopting of the "urban" aesthetic of droopy pants...

... and I sort of get it being reworked in this way in theory -- it adds a splash of color to the midsection; some interest. It's sort of like a sash instead of a belt I guess. But mostly it just makes me think, "Ouch his boys must be strained." And I just don't think fashion that makes our testicles wince (outside of a fetish space, natch) should be encouraged. Maybe that's just me though! Those crazy kids! Shakes cane!

Good Morning, Coop

The magazine known as V Man is really coming through for their next issue -- just yesterday I shared that new Theo James photoshoot from it, and now they have what they're calling a "preview" of the magazine's cover, which will apparently star buzzy gay boy Cooper Koch of Monsters and Swallowed fame. The four photos they've  shared here so far from photographer Alvaro Cortes are extremely reminiscent (that's me being generous) of Andy Warhol's famed polaroid series -- coincidentally the book of those polaroids was what Gus Kenworthy was "advertising" with his striptease last week. Everything's coming up Andy but then what's new. (That is a really terrific coffee table book though, I recommend it.) Anyway Cooper wants to wake us up, consider us woken. Hit the jump for the rest...

I Just Needed Some Josh

Back in January when W Magazine shared their yearly "Best Performances" portfolio I saw and shared one photo of Josh O'Connor from it that was extremely to-my-liking, and yet there were two more photos that apparently unfurled from that shoot that I completely missed until this afternoon when I decided that the only thing that was possibly going to put me into a better mood was googling some Josh pictures for a bit. I mean -- that above shot needed to be in my life too! Do I wish I had fifty more outtakes to share? Of course I do, and I'd share every single one of them too. We should mount a coordinated campaign of harrassing the photographers until they release every single frame they captured. (Yes this is totally how we should be organizing our time in 2025!) But for completion's sake I will here share the other two photos, including the one I'd previously shared, after the jump...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Manchurian Candidate (1962)

Psychiatrist: Human fish, swimming at the bottom of the great ocean of atmosphere, develop psychic injuries as they collide with one another. Most mortal of all are those gotten from the parent fish.

The great John Frankenheimer was born 95 years ago today.

Timmy Has "Words" For Us

For some reason TImothee Chalamet posted several videos of himself singing along to the song "Words" from the Call Me By Your Name soundtrack on Instagram last night, and you can watch them all here because we all deserve this mental health break. (This is the song that's playing on the radio during the scene where Elio has sex with Marzia in the attic and yes I knew this without having the check, because of course I did.) Timmy's so good at going viral (no jokes about the NYU rumors please) for the silliest of reasons. His Oscar campaign has been doppleganger flash gangs and being his own musical guest on SNL -- he delights me and remains a balm in these terrible times. Anyway hit the jump to enjoy all of the videos, which I'm not technilogically savvy enough to combine into one single video...

Theo James Twenty-One Times

(Sidenote: I really really really fucking love that shirt he's wearing above. Ugh I am sure it costs a thousand dollars. Life's not fair!) No sooner had I hit publish on yesterday's collection of fine Theo James photographs for Mr. Porter magazine than did this other new photoshoot of the actor pop up for V Man magazine...

... but I decided I'd be patient! Save them for today so we could have Theo inside of us two days in a row. Meaning our eyes. You got that, right? I just meant Theo James was inside our eyes. Lovingly, slowly penetrating... our eyes. Yeah that's the ticket. Hit the jump for the shoot plus a dozen gifs I made from a video of the shoot...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

Now here is a sentence I am sure all of you have been dying to hear -- looks like Taylor Zakhar Perez is maaking a sneak attack from behind! I should just leave it there right? You've already fainted. But as you come back to here's my point -- when Red White and Royal Blue came out it felt like Taylor's co-star Nicholas Galitzine was getting most of the press, given he had roles in other buzzy projects (the gay princeling show with Julianne Moore, the wonderful comedy masterpiece that is Bottoms). Meanwhile Taylor hasn't even acted in another project? Which is obviously bullshit -- and forgive me if I side-eye his supposed (if not quite open) queerness as the cause of that nonsense. But that's thorny since he's been quiet on that front (especially given the rumor he's been married to a man for several years now), so I won't wade into that. 

But while Galitzine is off blowing himself up like a hot air balloon for the really doomed seeming He-Man movie, Taylor's spent the last several weeks showcasing his spectacular self for Lacoste underwear (see our previous post here) and I dunno about you but it's sure pushed him to the front of my mind, personally speaking. (And no I still haven't even watched RW&RB haha.) Not that it's a competition between these two actors. But if it were. Taylor's on top! That's all I'm saying! And this new batch of Lacoste photos (for Flaunt) is a firm underline of just that. Hit the jump for them...

Pic of the Day

While I run off to a screening here is a photo of Meryl Streep and Jason Momoa cutting a rug at SNL's 50th soiree this past weekend that needs to be immediately iconic. May we all try to find and hold onto just a fraction of this joy in these dark times!

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... experiencing nature au naturel with Justin Chatwin.

I had to check his IMDb to see if Shameless and War of the Worlds actor Justin Chatwin is still acting -- sorry Justin! -- and he is! He was in that Reagan movie last year, and he does lots of random T.V. episodes. I just haven't seen any of them. The only times I ever see him is when he gets naked in outdoor settings on his Instagram, which he does often enough to keep me happy and to keep MNPP stocked with a post or two showcasing his prized fuzzy excellence every year.  And if I can't be personally invited to tag along on one of these naturist adventures I am good with this arrangement too. He posted this video over the weekend and immediately brightened my mood -- hit the jump and I chopped that gif above into several pieces each with a more precise focus, ahem...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Theo James Fourteen Times

The new horror film from Longlegs director Oz Perkins is out Friday -- The Monkey starring Theo James -- and so we've been gifted thanks to Mr Porter magazine with a new Theo photoshoot today, which is always a good thing. (The fact that it's hitting just as a new season of The White Lotus lands is of course making me recall that time Theo was on that show -- also a good thing.)

I keep hoping they'll drop the photoshoot and or commercial for Dolce & Gabbana that we saw Theo shoot last summer in a barely there white speedo and feel like this would be an excellent week for that -- he's got a movie out, it's cold and we want to think about things that make us hot, et cetera. But not yet -- believe me you'll hear from me when they do! I might also have some things about The Monkey to say later this week. But for now we simply stare at Theo, an excellent way to spend one's time, after the jump...

Good Morning, World

I was going to wish everyone a happy Monday, but it's Tuesday? Okay, sure. Happy Tuesday from me and from the fun-time brother duo of Patrick Schwarzenegger and Sam Nivola on the season premiere of the third season of Mike White's hit series The White Lotus, which aired on... Sunday? Yes Sunday. Speaking as an only child sibling relationships have always been a mystery (and a fascination) to me, but I think that maybe this whole conversation about what kind of porn your brother likes was meant to feel off? In my days on this earth I have yes watched a lot of let's say fictional recreations of this exact scenario. But I don't think that's what real life between siblings is usually like. But what do I know. As I said on Sunday...

I'm going to have to spend a lot of this season of THE WHITE LOTUS reminding myself that Patrick Schwarzenegger and Sam Nivola are NOT related, they are ACTORS playing ROLES, and the feelings I am feeling are OKAY, aren't I?? Damn you, Mike White! (I love you, Mike White.) #thewhitelotus

[image or embed]

— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) February 17, 2025 at 12:35 AM

... I'm just thankful I can keep repeating to myself that these are two very attractive actors that Mike White has engaged in a fictionalized scenario for me, and not wrestle with it beyond that. Pretty naked people being freaks -- yes please! What did y'all think of the premiere? I refrained from asking for screeners so I could watch it weekly with everybody and not binge it all weeks ahead of time because that's an isolating way of watching the show and I don't need to review it. This is for me to have fun with! As is Patrick Schwarzenegger's bum, of which his father speaks very highly. (Speaking of weird family vibes.) As well he should! It's a great bum. And you can see plenty of it after the jump...

Stay Sexy & Fuck Along

Valentines Day is my second to least favorite holiday so really I say fuck this nonsense, but I do want to spread a good bit of love and filth to you readers, who are each and every one of you my favorite hot sluts in the world. The world is a flaming piece of shit but we can cling each other as it burns, at least -- and hopefully we'll rip the throats out of some Republicans along the way. That's romance, baby! Y'all have a great weekend and a warning (yes now a warning) -- I have Monday, aka President's Day, off, because we are all in mourning of the concept of "a legitimate President." So I'll be back Tuesday. If we survive til then anyway! Bye, loves!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from: 

Brief Encounter (1945) 

Laura: Fred, dear Fred. There's so much that I want to say to you. You're the only one in the world with enough wisdom and gentleness to understand. If only it was somebody else's story and not mine. As it is, you're the only one in the world that I can never tell. Never never. Because even if I waited until we were old, old people and told you then, you'd be bound to look back over the years and be hurt. And my dear, I don't want you to be hurt. You see, we're a happily married couple and let's never forget that. This is my home. You're my husband. And my children are upstairs in bed. I'm a happily married woman - or I was, rather, until a few weeks ago. This is my whole world, and it's enough, or rather, it was until a few weeks ago. But, oh, Fred, I've been so foolish. I've fallen in love. I'm an ordinary woman. I didn't think such violent things could happen to ordinary people.