Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... shocking my system with Austin Nichols.

I took Austin's gratuitous bait last week, I might as well take it this week too -- especially since this time's even more gratuitous. Plus (more importantly) it's a Monday and I am feeling even more lazy. Tired? Lazy. Whatever. Austin Nichols took his clothes off for us and posted a video of it online and we're nowhere close to being above cheaply bought off in such a manner. If only all actors were as easy as I am. We am. We are. I need to go stare at the sea y'all.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Road House (2024)

Ben Brandt: You, tell me about this bouncer.

Moe: Oh, uh, yeah I dunno, man. 

He's kinda strange, you know?

Ben Brandt: What do you mean, strange?

Moe: Yeah.. You know, he acts all nice and shit 

like he's Mr. Rogers or something. But then, man, 

he hauls off. He hauls off! He beats the living shit 

outta you! So, really interesting guy, overall. 

Ben Brandt: That was a brilliant analysis. 

Sam, throw these dum-dums overboard.

You know I chose this passage of dialogue from the Road House remake just to post these gifs of Billy Magnusson in a speedo -- you know it, I know it, Billy knows it, the aliens a billion light years from Earth know it, so let's just move on. Because it's Billy's birthday! Our beautiful blond Billy boy is turning 41 today and we wish him a great one. I imagine he is having one of those anyway since well he's Billy Magnussen, look at him. But also his new series The Audacity has, from what I can tell, gotten very good notices -- I haven't started it yet but it's very much on the list. Any of you watch it yet? 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

When I saw Our Hero, Balthazar at Tribeca last year I was kinda annoyed that Noah Centineo kept that shirt on during the scene pictured above -- it really got in the way of the things I wanted to see, Noah! That said when this set photo presented itself a few days ago (thx Mac) I felt much more forgiving. And here we are. OHB hit theaters a few weeks ago and I believe it's still playing in some and not out on VOD yet -- I honestly wasn't all that crazy about it when I saw it but perhaps you'll dig it. Who knows? Opinions are like Noah Centineo's asshole -- if you wear a long shirt over them nobody will get to see them! Anyway even if the movie's not out on VOD you can find this scene on the internet, in places (ahem) -- I am going to wait until it hits VOD officially to make gifs. Blah blah blah happy Monday. Another fucking week to get through. Let's get to it, then.

Make Like Jamie Dornan...

... and stick something tasty in your mouth hole 

this weekend. Goodbye until Monday!

 

Three More Meltons!

How dumb am I (full stop) to've thought that we'd seen the last of the Charles Melton in Men's Health photos after I'd spent half the past week posting, you know, literally hundreds of them. When I posted that hot one yesterday I really thought that'd be that since Beef was now out on Netflix. (Have you watched any? Can we talk about the coyote scene yet???) Thankfully I am the stupidest peron who has ever lived or will ever live, and three more photos have come via MH's Instagram in the past day or so.  So now I'm gonna be smart and say this won't be it -- I'm gonna guesstimate that they're holding on to five thousand more photos to share, and that'll prove my smarts! I'll show you! Okay go watch Beef so we can talk about the coyote scene, the end. Oh and hit the jump for the rest of these pictures as well I suppose...

I Want My Mummy!

It's totally inexplicable how much not a Mummy movie this Mummy movie is. Lee Cronin's The Mummy (and I do think that's the official title in full, which... well that probably would've been a better choice had you been sure you'd made a great Mummy movie first, Mr. Cronin) is in fact, besides a couple of scenes set in Egypt and a sarcophogus, an Evil Dead movie. It's basically a remake of Lee Cronin's Evil Dead Rise (his last directorial effort) in fact, when it comes down to it. It's Evil Dead Rise with a bunch of CG sand flying around over everything every so often -- basically when Cronin remembers this is supposed to be a Mummy movie he makes some sand show up. Otherwise this is about a family who gets possessed one by one by a blasphemous demon, making little kids do the darndest things (or dare I even day, the damndest thing, gasp!), while ancient indecipherable artifacts get translated via obselete technology, and everything's extremely gross and obscene. 

The last bit is the best bit -- it's what I liked about Evil Dead Rise, too. Cronin is definitely not afraid to be extremely gross and extremely obscene. But as with EDR (which brought the Deadites to the city only to then keep them entirely contained to one building for the entire run-time, making it feel like a retread of everything we'd seen before in the franchise) the plot and the characterizations in this movie make so little sense from scene to scene; it's really just "gross and obscene" strung together by the thinnest of (admittedly sticky) threads. I didn't really hate my time watching this movie, but it's in no way "good" nor should anyone be applauded for how lazy it all is. Cronin made a terrific Irish Folk Horror movie in 2019 with The Hole in the Ground, but he's just been coasting on puke and pus and kids saying fuck ever since. Bad Mummy!

Today's Mood

Still can't believe how subversive the video for Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" remains here at 32 years old (!!!) -- a rock god presenting himself as both a fetishized sexual object and a submissive all at once? How often have we seen this in the years since? Bless you, Trent, you foundational pervert. Anyway! Today's a big day for NIN fans as their highly anticipated new record of remixes with Boys Noize, smartly titled Nine Inch Noize, has dropped -- I didn't get to see them on tour this past year where they've been playing these bangers so this is the closest I will get to them. No physical release of the album just yet but fingers and toes and leather whips all crossed in knots that'll happen eventually. (Says the man still waiting for Trent to drop the Bones and All vinyl, sigh.) But maybe it's for the best that this record didn't drop today as I just spent a grotesque amount of money on...

... a scorpion-filled version of the soundtrack for Lee Cronin's The Mummy movie over at Waxwork. (Seeing as how it's already sold out I have a feeling this will be a good investment though.) Oh and I also bought the below gorgeous poster for Steven Soderbergh's film The Christophers via Neon's store, because look at her! She's gorgeous. Oh and this movie P.S. is terrific -- it's a really low-key performance but I would love it if we could manage to maintain some Oscar buzz for Sir Ian until next spring since he's so fucking overdue and he's genuinely wonderful in this movie. I doubt it will happen since it's not a super showy role but I still really want him to be the first out gay actor to get one of those stupid statues. It just feels right. 

Matthias Schoenaerts Four Times

Until the Supergirl trailer dropped a couple of weeks ago I had totally spaced on the fact that our fave Belgian beefcake Matthias Schoenaerts had been cast as the bad guy in it (or at least one of them anyway) -- but there he was! Looking kind of goofy with a face popping with metal spikes, sure, but it made me excited for the movie anyway, even as I couldn't give a shit about it otherwise. So good work, James Gunn -- you gauranteed at least one extra ticket with that casting. That's like 20 bucks! (Unless I go to a press screening, in which case it's zero bucks.) And then a couple weeks before that we'd heard that Matty is going to star in a thriller opposite Halle Berry -- basically we're happy that he's popping up, metal spikes in his face or whatever, as it's felt like a little bit of a dry spell for those of us who adore him. And now (via) we've got a photoshoot to boot! Okay maybe it's not the most thrilling photoshoot but it's a photoshoot, hence me calling it "a photoshoot" in the previous sentence, and we'll take it. So hit the jump for the rest of the "photoshoot"... 

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... helping Austin Nichols with some yard work.

(We could plant some seed.)

I hadn't planned on sharing this photoshoot of Austin Nichols when he dropped it the other day because everything he shared at first was pretty boring -- not so the behind-the-scenes video though, as seen in the above gifs! Where are THOSE photos? Why would those photos disappear? I smell a plot! Anyway since we're here I'll go ahead and share the boring old clothed photos, hit the jump for them...

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

Forever Hunk William Holden was born 108 years ago today and hey somehow I managed to dig up these two beefcake-y photos of him I've never seen before -- a dive into our archives will show you we've pretty well drained this one dry (phrasing! And we wish!) but when you've been dead for 45 years that's bound to happen. Well I guess until recently -- I could go make some A.I. photos of Bill making out with Gregory Peck right now if I was an asshole. Thankfully I'm just an asshole of other sorts, and not that worst sort. Miss you, Bill! Maybe I'll watch Sunset Boulevard tonight for the billionth time...

Mount Taron

Taron Egerton has been so generous with us these past couple of years y'all. (Remember his shimmy in a g-string on that fireman show of his last year? Phew.) That slammin' still above is from his thriller Apex that sees him (sexily) terrorizing Charlize Theron, and which hits Netflix next Friday -- I shared the trailer right here. Anyway that photo (which P.S. gets extremely big if you click on it) seemed a nice place to leave us off for the day (or to "[something] us off" anyway) -- yes as forewarned earlier this week this is yet another day of a very busy week where I've got screenings to attend to. Two of them today actually, including some time with that Taron. The other one... well click here if you want to know the other movie I'm seeing today is. Just know that I usually can't manage afternoon screenings given my day-job but I'm so excited about this one that I'm taking time off for it. Anyway giddy show-offery aside I'll be back in full tomorrow, so you and Taron just stay here and wait for me then. I'm sure y'll can find something to do. Bye!

Pedro Pascal Four Times

This morning I shared the cover image of Pedro Pascal for Fantastic Man magazine, and here right just literally minutes before I'm set to run out the door to a screening these images from the magazine drop, planting a "good goddamn" on my lips as I go. I really don't have time to say any more, but y'all enjoy these! I plan on it. 

Cate Blanchett Living

Listen. Cate Blanchett remains wicked cool and I love her. But I can't pretend I've spent decades of my life jonesing for a biopic of Martha Stewart, which is the latest project that the actress has attached herself to. I mean Cate sure does love a bio-pic! I guess being nominated for Oscars for several of them -- playing everyone to Queen Elizabeth to Katharine Hepburn to Bob Dylan to the very real composer Lydia Tár -- will do that to you. All of that said I am excited about this project anyway because of who's directing it -- it's being directed by Janicza Bravo, the director of my beloved Zola. (Also my beloved but lesser-known Lemon.) Now THAT rockets this news straight from "yeah okay sure" to "put it inside of me" territory. I guess all we need to know next is -- who will play Snoop Dogg?

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

The Town Bicycle Seat

Hey look at Pedro Pascal looking adorbs on the cover of the new issue of Fantastic Man magazine (via). And lemme tell you -- trying to search "Pedro Pascal Fantastic Man" to see if any more pictures have been released was muy complicado since Pedro is also the star of the Fantastic Four movie series. But as far as I can tell there's just this photo released so far. But how could I resist this post's title... I could not. I'm sorry, Pedro. It was just (ahem) sitting right there, screaming to be seized upon. 

Good Morning, World

I literally posted nearly 200 images from Charles Melton's Men's Health photoshoot and video on Monday -- seriously, go see for yourself!!! -- and yet somehow I totally missed this fairly straightforward (yet no less sexy) image right there above? What a world, what a world indeed. Anyway it's a good thing because the second season of Beef is out on Netflix today and why wouldn't I post about that? For one I've been pretty relentlessly plugging it for months now because of its incredible cast. And for another I've actually already watched the whole damn thing! And it's good! I think it might be a little more unfocused than the first season, but all of the leads are excellent, with Mr. Melton and OF COURSE Carey Mulligan being the stand-outs from where I stand. For his part Melton is hysterically funny and surprisingly moving, proving that May December was no fluke; he's the real deal. As much talent as he's got abs! And as for Mulligan... 

Carey Mulligan is one of those notable few performers who, when I think about how much I love watching them perform, I literally well up. I feel immense gratitude every time she acts. I'm basically Team She Can Do No Wrong. What an immense talent she wields. A queen.

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— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) April 15, 2026 at 4:52 PM

... well as you see above I'm of the mind that Carey Mulligan is incapable of being anything less than absolutely 100% compelling on-screen, and every single time the camera focuses on her here she proves her exquisite skill yet again. I am in awe of her, really and truly -- I'm not quite ready to de-throne the dueling Frenchies of Binoche & Huppert as my picks for the Greatest Living Actresses, but every time I watch Carey Mulligan I question that. I do! She's just so spectacular. Anyway you should watch the new season, it's mostly terrific, and I won't spoil it but there is one moment involving Carey and a wild animal that will probably end up being the funniest thing I see all year. All that plus Charles Melton spends every episode half-naked, as highlighted in the below trailer? What are you even doing here? Get over to Netflix, you fools!

This is literally the only advertisement Netflix needed to make for Beef's second season

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— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) April 15, 2026 at 2:04 PM

All My Pretty Precioussses

I think I'm hardly alone in stating the cold hard dead truth that the three Hobbit movies kinda sorta broke my desire to watch Tolkein's Middle-Earth on the big screen anymore -- I couldn't even tell you anything that happened in them at this point; they went right in one eye and out the other. That said I started watching the Prime series, I think just because it landed in a lull in my schedule, and there's been some fun stuff in it. I will give it this -- it looks very expensive. (And given that Bezos shelled out like a billion dollars for the rights I should fucking hope so.) 

Anyway I wasn't really feeling much enthusiasm about Andy Serkis slipping into Peter Jackson's director's chair to make Lord of the Rings; The Hunt For Gollum, yet another big-screen adventure -- this one about the period in the story where Gollum (who else) had already found the ring but before Bilbo got to him and snatched away his Preciousssss -- even as names like Sir Ian and Elijah Wood and Lee Pace started circling a return to the franchise. To get to my belabored point, made even more belabored by the photo up top giving my game away, they've now announced that dreamboat Jamie Dornan will be replacing Viggo Mortensen as "Strider" aka the name his character went by before he embraced his princely panatloons and became the Aragorn we all came to know and love in the original trilogy. 

God this is so much nerd shit I am barfing right now! I need to go chop some wood or something stat. Anyway gorgeous Jamie is always a yes. I don't even care. I will now be watching this damn movie. And that's before we even get to the other two names that just got cast in it -- the queen herself Kate Winslet will apparently be the film's female lead, playing a character named "Marigol" (this site theorizes that she's Smeagol's grandmother), while our beautiful blond boy Leo Woodall will be playing a cohort of Strider's named Halvard. Does this mean this movie will have a lot of Jamie Dornan and Leo Woodall running around together, all bearded and dirty and huddling beside fires for warmth??? Because that's the movie I'm writing in my head, you best damn believe it. 

Pics of the Day

I sure can't say that I expected a picture of a shaggy blond be-stached and shirtless David Corenswet to pop up in front of me today, or ever, but that only exposes the lack of my imagination -- because here one is! This is the first look at our current Superman in Jonathan Levine's sports-biopic Mr. Irrelevant: The John Tuggle Story, which has David playing a football player... god I don't care about the details after typing out what I've written so far. David Corenswet LOOKS LIKE THAT, he will be wearing FOOTBALL GEAR, I don't need to know who this guy is or why this story is being told, I just need to watch this movie now please. It's out on Christmas Day. (And for the actual details of the story beyond my salivating salaciousness click here; thx Mac)