Kisses From Kumail

The movie Over Your Dead Body completely slipped by me when it got a brief release in April, which is a shame since I am one of the world's biggest Samara Weaving fans and I try to be a completeist when it comes to my under-appreciated gal-pal -- did any of you see it? Samara stars alongside Jason Segel as estranged spouses who head to a cabin in the woods (always a warning sign) to supposedly reconcile, but in actuality try to murder each other. Also in the cast is Timothy Olyphant and Kumail Nanjiani who, as seen here, is leaning back into his sex-god side again -- I was worried he'd give up this body after Eternals, the superhero franchise he built it for flopped, so seeing him show off again makes me smile. All over! I'm smiling in places that have never smiled before, I tells ya. (Can't wait to see him flaunting this bod on the French beaches of The White Lotus' fourth season soon enough!) Anyway obviously the existence of these gifs (which I swiped off Tumblr) mean this movie is out on VOD now, so I will try to catch it sometime when I have two free hours... something that's about to become a rather big ask as NewFest and Tribeca both kick off in the next week. Speaking of -- I'm leaving you now, right this minute, to go to a press screening for one of said fests. So this will be it for today. I'm sorry I have made our all-over smiles wilt so suddenly. Kumail will keep your warm for me, nestled in against his sturdy bosom in my absence. Hold tight til tomorrow!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

The Tomb of Ligeia (1964)

Verden Fell: Christopher, not ten minutes ago I... I tried to kill a stray cat with a cabbage, and all but made love to the Lady Rowena. I succeeded in squashing the cabbage and badly frightening the lady. If only I could lay open my own brain as easily as I did that vegetable, what rot would be freed from its grey leaves?

While in my house we annually celebrate the death of Vincent Price via a deliciously grisly feast cooked from the pages of his esteemed cookbooks, his birthday isn't given quite the same recognition -- no feasts, no costumes, no tummy-aches the next day from all the cream every single midcentury dish is absolutely drowned in. Celebrating the anniversary of his death, given his horror bonafides and the fact that it's so close to Halloween, just makes more logistical sense. But let us take a moment today to honor this icon on the 115th anniversary of his birth anyway. I've said this many a time over by now but my personal holy trinity consists of him, Paul Reubens, and John Waters. Viva Vincent!

Killer Queens

There's something about the poster for Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma -- the new movie from We're All Going To the World's Fair and I Saw the T.V. Glow director Jane Schoenbrun, and P.S. we really should be talking more about how fucking good Jane is at movie titles -- that's been bugging me since it dropped yesterday and I can't quite put my finger on it. I think I would like it more if the square image with our leading ladies in it was more rectangular and there was less empty space with the title and text in it at the bottom? You stretch the top half down so it's like 5/6ths of the full sheet and I think it's a great poster. Those blood-soaked queens should be bigger dammit! I also think the mix of fonts in the title is sloppy -- I love the Friday the 13th font being used of course, but the five words above "Camp Miasma" feel disconnected. Anyway all of this critique is said with love! I would buy this poster if it was the version I have in my head -- as is I'm not totally sold. That's only in regards to the poster though! Having seen this movie... well we'll save that opinion for another day. But yes I have already seen the movie and yes, you should be looking forward to it. It's out in theaters on August 7th (although it is playing this weekend at NewFest here in NYC and it's hitting several other fests around the country before then so keep yer eyes a'peeled) and here's the just -dropped trailer!

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

I'll admit that, since I have been running perenially behind on watching new episodes of Richard "Baby Reindeer" Gadd's latest televisual masterpiece Half Man, that I began this post this morning thinking that the final episode was on tonight -- then I double-checked and no, the sixth and final episode drops on Thursday night. Who knew? Probably everyone watching it, save me. Anyway I did finally catch up over the long weekend so I am ready, so so ready, to see how Mr. Gadd lands this extraordinary ship. As with his previous series it's a helluva tonal tighrope he's traversing (alliteration!) but I've found every second of it alive and fiery and dangerous-feeling -- I think it might be even better than the Baby Reindeer program? Gadd and Jamie Bell...

... are giving tremendous performances and I hope that this show proves as popular with the awards bodies as Reindeer did, although its hook of this tortured homo-erotic (homo-deranged?) friendship ("friendship"?) between two extremely damaged boys to men isn't as hooky as that earlier show's was for a wide audience, I don't think. Still it speaks very clearly to me, and I think a lot of queer men -- the self-hatred and abuse we're willing to not just accept but even eroticize... it's a show that's saying a lot very clearly and efficiently and with great humor and I hope that Gadd keeps dropping truth bombs every couple of years on us like this. What a talent. All that and I wanna climb right up and mount him there on that bench-press -- feeling fortunate and thankful for you, good Gadd sir. So what is everybody thinking of Half Man? 

A Call Me By Your Name Mystery

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This post's title has me imagining a series of CMYBN sequel books where Elio becomes a Jessica Fletcher type, solving mysteries around gorgeous rural Italy while fucking peaches on the side -- needless to say I would read the hell out of that series. But the actual 'Call Me By Your Name' Mystery is why the Sony Classics Instagram account posted the above video this afternoon with the caption "Tomorrow..." It's not any sort of CMBYN anniversary -- personally I'm thinking they might be announcing a standalone copy of the film in 4K. It's already gotten a 4K release inside of Sony's great big box-set alongside a pile of other amazing movies, but it is really overdue its own separate release. Maybe even one with a bunch of new special features! That would rule. It is crazy to realize that the movie is turning 10 in January, counting from its premiere at Sundance in January of 2017. A standalone 4K in time for that 10th anniversary makes a lot of sense. But who knows! Could be something else. I have no idea what that would be (a new vinyl of the soundtrack?) but I guess we'll find out tomorrow! I have long given up on a sequel ever happening. Although I did discover, while looking around just now, that a graphic novel of André Aciman's book IS coming out this August, which was news to me. I don't think that's what Sony is posting about but we'll see. Anyway that's out August 11th and you can pre-order it right here. The slutty anime cover-art is sending me lol: 

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Coffy (1973)

Coffy: You want to spit on me and make me crawl? 

I'm gonna piss on your grave tomorrow.

It's really the "tomorrow" that makes that line.

A very happy 77 to the legend the icon Pam Grier.

Rage on, perfect queen. 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

Hey it's Tuesday. And that's all I have to say about that. In better news a couple more photos of Josh Heuston dropped (via) from that photo-shoot for Artchive magazine I shared last week (see those here) -- and yeah I went and bought the magazine once I saw there were multiple photos of Josh Heuston in his underpants in it. Don't judge me. Okay, there's your good morning post. Let's get this three-day week over with; I'm done already. An excellent start, right? I thought so. Yay Tuesday.

Give This Piece a Chance

I'm trying to will the care-free mood seen in this photo of Charles Melton into my own existence today -- spoiler alert: it ain't working. I don't know if my partner was punching me in the side of the head all night long as I slept (no this is not a cry for help) but I woke up feeling like I didn't sleep a single second last night, and I be draggggggging my ass this Thursday. This is pointless information for anyone who isn't "me" I know but it's good that I remind myself that this site is just a stupid fucking blog sometimes and I don't have to feel bad about insubstantial content. Tis my prerogative! Is it weird that typing that word out always makes me want to eat pierogies? In summation -- aren't you glad you just wasted one minute of your life reading this post? You're welcome. Any time. 

ETA Just got word my office is closing tomorrow so I am officially giving up for the long weekend. Hands in air, Jason don't care. I'm headed to a screening in half an hour (Backrooms baby!) and then I'm off until Tuesday. I should add since we're doing Accounting Of My Time here that NewFest and Tribeca Fest stuff start plaguing / entertaining me next week so my schedule's about to get nuts again -- on the positive side Summer Fridays at my day-job also kick off... well tomorrow now, I guess. Which means four-day weeks through Labor Day. Yes I am rambling! Let me ramble! I have half an hour to kill and need to stop fussing over my Tribeca schedule, which is much of what I've been working on this week. Anyway stay tuned -- coverage of those fests and lots more to come! Probably including me choking to death on my own bile! Have a great holiday weekend! Think of me like this (if you think of me at all):

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... giving Charlie Cox healthy bones.

Milk does a body good, baby! It also does a Cox good. 

Okay enough slutty tomfoolery.

Here's the context, if you must.

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Lakeith Stanfield Nine Times

Hey people! Just got to my desk after having a screening this morning so I will make up for lost time now with these here photos of the ever handsome Lakeith Stanfield for Esquire magazine. You can read his interview here -- he's promoting Boots Riley's new movie I Love Boosters which hits theaters tomorrow (did you see I hit the pop-up in NYC yesterday afternoon for some movie merch?) Anyway having seen ILB I can say with genuine authority it's a blast and I thoroughly recommend -- not sure whether I'll be reviewing it or not but two movies in I'm big-time Team Boots; I adore his brand of chaotic nosnense. He was made for me! Also made for me -- Lakeith. Maybe news to Lakeith but it's true. So hit the jump for the new photos of my fella...

Turn My Frown Upside Down, Pedro Pascal

I'm really loath to be a sour bitch about the news of Park Chan-wook making another movie -- and a movie back here in the U.S. no less, his first since Stoker! (He has made two T.V. series in English since then -- The Little Drummer Girl in 2018 and The Sympathizer in 2024.) But much like the casting of Robert Downey Jr. in The Sympathizer the casting news today is making this news more bitter than sweet for me -- Variety is reporting that he's planning on making a Western called The Brigands of Rattlecreek next (fantastic title) that will star two people I like in Pedro Pascal and Tang Wei, and two people I very very much do not like in Matthew McConaughey and Austin Butler. To be fair McConaughey and Butler have both given performances I've liked in the past -- McConaughey in Magic Mike, Butler in The Bikeriders and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood -- but seeing their names generally fills me more with dread than it does anticipation. I find the hype around Butler particularly inexplicable. (He is terrible in Dune 2. TERRIBLE.) And since The Sympathizer remains the only project of Park's that I have very little desire to revisit thanks to RDJ stinking that thing up, lisping around like a gross caricaiture, the still sore burn of recent bias eats away at me, reading this news. SIGH. I will attempt to be a bigger man, dig up some tatters of optimism from deep, deep within. Here is how they describe the story:

"The Brigands of Rattlecreek is described as 'an iconic tale of vengeance and retribution set in the American West.' A synopsis of the project explains: 'A capstone of the themes Park Chan-wook has plumbed across his entire body of work to date, the film is an emotionally explosive and visually stunning meditation on the consequences of violence, the value of family, the power of memory, and the true cost of life.'"

Tyriq Withers Fourteen Times

Did y'all see the rumor (nevermind, they confirmed it) that the stunning Tyriq Withers here of Him and Reminder of Him (him fetish much), as well as the I Know What You Did Last Summer reboot's memorable sauna scene, is dating Best Picture winner One Battle After Another breakout star Chase Infiniti? I think they make a pretty, pretty, pretty couple but this definitely throws a wrench in my "Tyriq is one of us" pet theory. (Did y'all SEE the video of him talking about Heated Rivalry?) I suppose he could just be bi, like all actors. (Every. Single. One.) Whatever -- this doesn't deflate my imagination of our whirlwind romance and short-lived marriage. (We would just be too passionate to stay together...

... but we'd both cherish the memories forever, and there would be several reunions over the decades that left many a hotel room smashed to bits.) Anyway our future ex-Mr. Adams-Withers  is one of the cover stars of the new issue of Numero Netherlands doing his whole dreamboat thing that he does so well -- there's a conversation with him at this link that I am saving to read over my lunch-break but y'all should feel free to go ahead and read it now. Don't wait for me by any means! Or you could just hit the jump where I've gathered up all of the hot man's new photos of him (him again!) being hot...

 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

She Is Ann Lee, Hear Her Roar

One of last year's most slept on upon great movies was Mona Fastvold's The Testament of Ann Lee, a rapturous musical  starring Amanda Seyfried as the Shaker founder -- the film was weird and unexpected and in the words of Anya Jenkins "never going to become a breakaway pop hit." Still it made my top ten of the year and what are we doing here if we're not believing what I say??? But since the movie didn't do well at the box office or the awards bodies it seemed as if getting a physical media release of the thing was D.O.A. -- I still don't know if we'll ever get a blu-ray (there were headlines when it hit VOD that it indeed wouldn't be getting this) but thankfully one barrier's now been smashed down as Milan Records has announced the soundtrack from the great Daniel Blumberg IS getting a vinyl release, and you can pre-order it right here. Hooray! This score is absolutely gorgeous -- being a non-musical person this is exactly what I want from my "musicals" honestly. Real music! That lands in September -- and hey maybe if the thing sells well they'll give us a goddamned blu-ray of the movie itself. Sorry, Ann Lee -- a "gosh-darned" blu-ray, I meant to say. Anyway I guess THE MAN Daniel Blumberg has enough sway to get his shit released, as HE did with THE MAN Brady Corbet's The Brutalist -- THE WOMAN writer-director and WIFE of Brady Corbet Mona Fastvold should try being more of a MAN I guess. (Sexism comes in all forms, y'all.)

Good Morning, World

It doesn't seem right that I've brought up the hot hockey show Off Campus a couple of times now thanks to actor Josh Heuston -- who's on it but doesn't even play a hot hockey player -- without mentioning actor Belmont Cameli, who's on the show and very much plays a hot hockey player. Indeed he even gives us a soapy gratuitous shower scene for the ages therein. (I only know this because I frequent the internet places where such gifs are freely available -- I have not watched the show.) And what with it being Hump Day it only feels even more appropriate to share these gifs -- and a sidenote: I imagine we'll revisit Belmont down the road as even without having seen the boy in anything I've already got a folder fulla goodies, but for now we'll rein ourself in to the subject at hand. Hit the jump for the hot humpy hockey boy gifs...

Pillion Reaching Completion

It's been a long hard ride for Pillion and the people who love it -- the dom-com starring Alexander Skarsgård and Harry Melling edged us all fall awards season long (I saw and reviewed it at NYFF in October) only to wait until February to give us a U.S. theatrical release proper. The Oscars ignored it (because of course they did, they're lame) and I put it in my top five movies of the year, and now after all this time, it's finally coming... out on blu-ray! A24 dropped the pre-order earlier today -- grab it at this link. I don't really understand why it's not 4K but at least they're promising the "unrated  theatrical cut" which... I have no idea what that means to be honest. I saw it like three times but they were all in the fall during festival and awards screenings -- I never could really suss out what cut was what after that. I guess I'll know when I sit down and watch this after it ships out in July. Just in time for my birthday! Bend me over a picnic table and give me my present, Alex! 

Where There's a Will...

I have a screening this afternoon. The movie may or may not have this fellow in it. I'm not saying! But I am going to put him in front of you until I'm back in a couple of hours anyway. Bye til then.