Y'all I love Tadanobu Asano so much.
See more photos over here.
Tuesday, November 19, 2024
2 Sissies 2 Gladiator
This isn't a review of Gladiator II -- I don't think I am writing one since somebody more enthusiastic about the property was assigned it at Pajiba. I could write a proper review of it here if I felt like it but take all of this blathering as proof that no, I do not feel like it. There's a lot of fun silliness to the movie to enjoy -- for one Denzel Washington is, as you've likely heard by now, having the time of his life. Every second he's on-screen is a blast. And the battle scene where they fill the Colosseum up with water, ships, and SHARKS -- that shit is bananas. Probably worth the price of admission alone.
But I left the movie in the most foul of moods despite that excessive goofiness (and Paul Mescal's thighs) because in Joseph Quinn's Emperor Geta and especially in Fred Hechinger's Emperor Caracalla the film trades in a nasty retrograde throwback to the sorts of vile queer villains we haven't seen since the simpering faggot prince in Mel Gibson's Braveheart. You can't even call Geta and Caracalla queer-coded since they've got a harem of made-up lady-boys in waiting. The boys are big ol' sissies. Sneering sissy stereotypes.
They're awful, pasty, deceitful, cruel, sickly, and most of all weak. Caracalla is going mad from syphilis and anoints his monkey to be his number one advisor. Brothers, they turn on each other in a split second. They are jokes meant to be laughed at, and we're meant to celebrate their downfalls brought on by their lascivious queerness. It's crowds cheering on Mel Gibson killing the perfumed fag all over again.
I suppose that, in the interest of widening the queer window, Denzel Washington's Macrinus is meant to be bisexual since in the final film he has a throwaway line about being with men. But it could be read in a couple of ways -- he could be saying women are a lot of bother, and not that he's actually been with any men. And of course Denzel made headlines this week when he said he'd had a kiss with a male actor that got cut out of the film -- this seemed to me to be an early strike out because they knew they were going to get headlines on this subject. (I personally told the PR people I was offended by the movie's throwback queer representation, and I spoke to several other critics who felt the same way.)
But Macrinus, as much fun as Denzel is having playing him, is still a villain. And his comeuppance is the film's biggest cheer moment of all. But since he's a much more rounded-out character if it had been just him as the queer villain I would've been fine with it. I don't hate a queer villain when done right!
Honestly -- and this bit is probably crucial in my read of the movie -- I also just don't think Ridley Scott has earned the benefit of the doubt in his career on this subject. What has he done for us? Michael Fassbender making out with his clone-twin in Covenant? My point exactly. More of the same. Ryan Phillippe in soaking wet tighty-whities in White Squall? Okay, well I will give him that one.
I know the argument exists that there's "historical accuracy" to some of these characterizations. (As if this movie feels much fealty to history!) That doesn't take into mind the fact that history has been written by the homophobes for centuries. We have been cast as the villains for as long as storytelling has existed. The stray cards that will knock the whole hetero family unit down for good, et cetera.
And given what just happened in this country election-wise, I do feel it's especially important right now to point this shit out. But I'll be curious to hear what y'all think when you see the movie -- if you're offended or if you think I'd read too much into it. So come back and comment down below once you have.
For the record (name and shame) the movies were in order Gladiator II, the slasher film Director’s Cut, Heretic obviously, and of course Anora (which I’ve made my discomfort re: its use of the f slur known already)
— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) November 8, 2024
Jeremy Allen White Comes Between Our Calvins
Again! I guess Calvin Klein must be really happy with their Jeremy Allen White campaign because they've kept him front and center for I think three rounds now? They're usually not this loyal. (I don't have a direct link to every bit of them I've previously posted but click here and it'll vaguely do the trick.) Anyway I am sure I'll have to update this as the day / week goes on because they always drop more more more but as of this morning let's enjoy the fresh sexy JAW bounty for Winter 2024 and hit the jump (psst there are videos!)...
Good Morning, World
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You could do worse than kicking off your Tuesday with Viggo Mortensen's perky behind, I'd wager. This shot is from a 1995 Spanish movie called Gimlet that is streaming for free on Plex -- he plays a creepy stalker, which seemed to be his M.O. before the Lord of the Rings movies made him into a hero. Of course that pendulum swung back around again once he started working with Cronenberg. Anyway, point being -- butt. It's early and that's enough.
Monday, November 18, 2024
Punch-Drunk Druggies Cross Delancey
Criterion Announcement Day sneaked up on us again -- and it was technically three days ago! They're late even and I didn't notice. Gosh it's almost like there are distracting things happening in the world? Well let's not focus on those, and instead focus on the movies that Criterion is releasing onto 4K blu-ray this upcoming February of the year 2025... yeah we're especially going to need some distractions right then I wager. Argh. Anyway! Criterion! First up is Gus Van Sant's 1989 druggie drama Drugstore Cowboy starring a very pretty Matt Dillon alongside Kelly Lynch, Heather Graham, and James Le Gros. Oh and William S. Burroughs! He's in this too. I haven't seen this movie in a very very long time (like at least twenty years) so it's definitely due a revisit -- I have a feeling I'll have grown to appreciate it more because I was never that much of a fan but it feels like a movie I'll get more now than I did when I was younger.
Next up we have a pair of movies I've never seen -- Jean-Luc Godard's King Lear from 1987 starring Peter Sellers and Molly Ringwald (wtf) and Joan Macklin Silver's 1988 romance Crossing Delancey with Amy Irving torn between two fellas in late-80s Manhattan. The Godard sounds bonkers; the JMS sounds sweet and perfect for a Saturday afternoon, and I am excited to watch them both.
Big Things For Our Boy
God's Own Country and Challengers actor Josh O'Connor is set to star in Steven Spielberg's next movie! I had to google it to make sure he wasn't in War Hose because doesn't it feel like he could've been in War Horse? (Full disclosure - I have never seen War Horse. It's one of I think three Spielberg movies I haven't seen.) Anyway this will be Josh's first movie with the biggest man in Hollywood history -- we don't know much about this movie yet except it's a science-fiction "event film" so this will be Spielberg in blockbuster mode. Four other people also joined the cast -- Emily Blunt, Eve Hewson (aka Bono's daughter who co-starred in The Knick!), Colin Firth, and Colman f'ing Domingo! Yes Colman too! Save Colman this is a very British cast though so I am assuming this will be a British-set science0-fiction picture. Wouldn't it be kind of cool if he made a new Day of the Triffids? I love Day of the Triffids. Those killer plants freak me the fuck out. And it's a timely ecological angle. If it gets announced that this is a Day of the Triffids movie I want my flowers dammit cuz I called it!
Come Out Come Out Where Ever You Are
I am one of those weirdos who think that Martin Scorsese's 1991 Cape Fear remake is one of his best movies -- it's so purple and overheated and operatic and Jessica Lange is fluttering her hands all around and Juliette Lewis is biting her braces and I love it, I love it, I just love it. Nevertheless I am excited about today's news that Javier Bardem is going to star in a 10-episode series remake that has been greenlit of the property -- it doesn't hurt that Scorsese himself (with a little nobody named Steven Spielberg) are the producers behind it. But Bardem is a great choice -- assuming he's playing the maniac Max Cady character. I think he'd be wasted as the Nick Nolte in this situation. Not that they shouldn't make that character interesting too. It's just we haven't gotten Javier playing a big villain in awhile, I feel like, at least not that I've seen, and he's so very good at it. No other casting has been announced but the actual show-runner has been and it's also terrific news -- Nick Antosca, the pervert behind the Channel Zero horror anthology series (as well as Brand New Cherry Flavor, also good), will be doing the actual work. I am a huge Channel Zero head. Pretzel Jack! Ahhh just saying his name makes me shudder. One of the great under-sung horror villains of our times. If Antosca can tap into some of this chaotic energy...
Who Wore It Best?
Timothée Chalamet is on the cover of Rolling Stone this month as he gears up to push his Bob Dylan bio-pic A Complete Unknown (out at Christmas) -- there are a couple of nice photos, including the two posted here, so click over if you want them.
Today's Fanboy Delusion
Today I'd rather be...
... the wet fag between Paul Mescal's lips.
(via) First off I hope nobody's too irritable about my use of the f-slur lately -- I've dropped it a few times in print over the past several weeks because I've been working through a little bit of a personal reclamation of it and seeing a member of the British Isles smoking a cigarette always gives me an easy out. I am aware obviously (uhh obviously) that it's a loaded term on this continent; it's a word I've mostly avoided using personally, but I don't feel like giving it any power over myself anymore. Clearly a process I should've dealt with earlier in life, but I think we're all feeling ourselves spinning into weird directions that we cannot aniticipate these days and this just happens to be one of mine. Anyway that aside this is a new photo of Paul taken from this set posted last week -- and I think it's safe to say this photo will probably be topping next year's "I Quit Smoking" post, right? I dare the photographers to come up with a better one in the next six months but this is gonna clearly be up there! In summation here is a photo of Paul with Barry Keoghan at the Governors Awards this past weekend:
Good Morning, World
On Friday afternoon I shared with y'all a moment of bulge involving Aldis Hodge on his new series Cross -- well I also had this scene on my person at the time and it took me a lot of wherewithal not to shoot that entire load all at once, believe you me. But I edged us through the entire weekend (I feel as if I should stop this metaphor) and now, Monday morning, kapow. You're welcome. Was it as good for you as it was for me? In all seriousness happy Monday -- I hope everybody managed to make it through their weekends unscathed. But if you needed some alone time to slide down the shower wall like Aldis here, well nobody could blame you. These are "slide down your shower wall" kinda times.
Friday, November 15, 2024
Twist On This
I was hoping if I went digging I'd find that Vanity Fair had already gifted us with an out-take from their shoot of Glen Powell this week, but no such luck -- just the two very hot shots I posted Wednesday so far. But I have never posted this photo before so let's post that photo whilst I direct you to my ol' Pajiba review of Twisters, his blockbuster sequel that came out earlier this summer and which has today, this very day, landed on streaming thanks to Peacock. I found the movie kind of disappointing -- as much as I can ever be disappointed by a Disaster Movie, since I will watch and re-watch even the worst of them a million times over, anyway. But hey it gave us Glen in a wet white t-shirt so s'all not a negative!
Today's Fanboy Delusion
Today I'd rather be...
... interrogated by Aldis Hodge.
That is a scene from Aldis' new series Cross which was 100% not on my radar until this video crossed my social media path (via) and uhh I think I might be watching this show now.
Paul Mescal Two Times
Oh goodness! Paul, you utter scamp. These pictures are for something called Hollywood Authentic magazine which I've never heard of until now but I'll be gosh-darned if these photos didn't get me bookmarking them immediately! There are a slew more photos at the link along with an interview -- I'm just sharing the two most important-to-me photos but if Paul mounting a big beautiful filly is your cuppa you'll wanna be clicking over.
ETA oh wait we have gifs! Hit the jump...
Heading Toward Bluer Skies
Grégoire Colin in Beau Travail should become the official beefcake pin-up for the social media network Bluesky don't you think? When I picture a blue sky I picture this shot of him from that movie, anyway. Just me? Anyway I just wanted to take this moment of buzz for Bluesky to remind y'all that I am on there too -- you can follow me right here. There's been a huge influx of people escaping Twitter this week which is super understandable given Elon Musk being a fascist piece of shit who helped steal the U.S. election for a Nazi. I've long been a Twitter addict and I've got years and years worth of nonsense compiled on there so I don't know that I'll ever delete my account fully but I have been posting on Bluesky much much more since the election and can foresee myself migrating over there for the most part eventually, especially now that there are more people popping up to talk to. So if you're looking for a non-toxic alternative, get it while it's hot! I don't know how long they can keep the good vibes going but right now it's a little wonderland. And as usual you can find all of my social media accounts and other spots where I be writing in the right-hand comlumn or on Linktree.
Good Morning, World
Earlier this week when my tweet about People's Sexiest Man Alive pick getting usurped by the men of Vanity Fair's Hollywood Issue went viral the most common source of outrage was the lack of Manny Jacinto anywhere, which yeah, duh! So here is some fresh Manny to sate our thirsts until everybody gets their shit together and starts giving this many the proper sexy respect he deserves. These are from some movie called Balestra -- you can watch the trailer right here -- but I must admit I honestly have no idea where or how you can watch this. I swiped these gifs off of Tumblr. But maybe Paramount+? I don't have that streamer so I can't say for sure. But anyway -- Manny? Manny for all the prizes.
Wednesday, November 13, 2024
Which is Hotter?
John Krasinski was named People's "Sexiest Man Alive" today and actual real live people seemed to be like, "... Huh?" Myself included. While I think the man has had his moments over the years I've soured on him since his shitty overrated and deeply conservative Quiet Place movies came out and, in their wake, so too did some stories about him being a shitty egomaniac. Anyway I now have a hit tweet...
Vanity Fair coming out the same day and making an absolute mockery of People's always terrible Sexiest Man Alive game pic.twitter.com/vkQkQ4ibDj
— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) November 13, 2024
... pointing out that Vanity Fair totally stole People's thunder today with their incredibly hot batch of menfolk prancing about for the annual "Hollywood Issue" and so a path forward seem to've presented itself! There are actually rumors going around that one of those VF men, the probable most likely alternative choice, Mr. Glen Powell of the film Twisters, smartly turned People's title down. So let's slap the two of them in the face with our big poll and see who comes on top, then!
Slip a Little Something in Our Coinslot
This post is going to be real orphan clanging his empty food bowl on the cement as he coughs a necrotic rattle so I will temper that with a wee flavor of Paul Mescal's All of Us Strangers sexiness -- just last week I told y'all I would be piling a bunch of shit onto eBay over the weekend. Well I did. It just took me into Monday to get it done so I am re-reminding. Click here to see what I've got for sale -- it really does include some proper fantasticos (like All of Us Strangers for one -- see, it all comes together) and you should buy some stuff from me. On that same note (of beggary) if you look over into the right-hand column in the "Support MNPP" section near the top I have added a blue "Paypal Subscribe" button, which will allow you to donate five bucks to the site monthly. I didn't whip this up on my own -- a generous reader wanted a way to do this so I made it possible. As always there's the other Donate button too, which allows for whatever coinage you can spare. Or just read for free! I'm not making anybody feel guilty for that -- I don't know you or your situation. I just want to continue doing my monkey dance to entertain y'all and so I shall, but any donations are always greatly and profoundly appreciated.
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