Dev Against the Knights

I liked Dev Patel's directorial debut Monkey Man a lot so I think it's worth mentioning he's working on his next movie -- THR hat the deets and... it sounds awfully similar to that earlier movie? It's called The Peasant and it's another "underestimated dude gets violent revenge on the people who underestimated him" flick. Only this time it's set in the 1300s and he'll be duking it out with knights. I doubt it'll be as weird-sexy as the last time Dev was around knights where he made out with Joel Edgerton and spooged on himself but then that's a big ask! But then again Dev made himself look sexy as hell in Monkey Man so maybe we shouldn't doubt him. 

Garrett Wareing Two Times

After breaking our Garrett Wareing cherry last week with a great big gratuitous post for the Ransom Canyon actor we were very happy he shared a couple of new gratuitous snaps on his Insta over the weekend so we didn't have to go too long without some fresh flesh from him to ogle. Yeehaw!

Horses Be Swifting

I so rarely post on the weekend that some of you might've missed this down below and that'd be a shame -- my review of the "Jacob Elordi and Diego Calva go gay for each other" flick On Swift Horses dropped over at Pajiba yesterday, read it here. And here is the trailer if you missed that. The movie is okay but I do have some issues with it, unfortunately -- I wouldn't say it's not worth seeing, but that might just be Will Poulter's perfect ass making me say that. It's holding a gun to my head! (I wish.) And did I actually write this entire post just so I could post the below gif of said perfect ass today? Hmm we'll never know, I guess!

Who Wore It Best?

I really didn't expect to still be bringing up Warfare two weeks after its theatrical release (especially since I saw Sinners this weekend and holy shit what a movie!) but A24 dropped a new batch of Warfare set photos of the Warfare boys on their Instagram yesterday and I saw the photos right before going to bed last night, which led to me having a truly terrible nightmare:

How cruel is that? My brain hates my guts. And I can't say it's wrong to. Anyway since I'm thinking about it now, pained as it is, I figure that photo up top demands a poll:

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Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

A happy 58th birthday to Danish actor and one-time Dracula Claes Bang today -- these gifs (via) are from a 2003 sex comedy called Rule No. 1 meaning he was a wee 36 here -- I almost called him "twinky" until I did the math. But compared to how we're used to seeing him post-The-Square as a grown adult man, he does seem like a wee babe here right? It's always funny when somebody becomes famous later in life after a full life of work to go back and discover this sort of thing. Anybody in the know have any recs from before The Square, Claes-wise?

Diego Calva Gives Good Attitude

As mentioned on Friday morning in our Jacob Elordi post and Friday afternoon in our Will Poulter post the queer melodrama On Swift Horses is in theaters this weekend and I have reviewed the movie -- click on over to Pajiba and read my (mixed) thoughts! Less mixed are my thoughts on this sexy ass photoshoot of Elordi's co-star Diego Calva for Attitutde magazine, though -- these are getting the job done just the way I want the job done to me. Hit the jump if you'd like to see them all... 

Eyes Up Here!

I'm sure several of you brainiacs have long been familiar with the 1956 Japanese science-fiction film Warning From Space but I only found out about it this week and watched it on Prime last night and here we are, interupting our regularly scheduled beefcake parade to recommend this wild and wackadoo piece of vintage WTF-ery. The copy that's on Prime is good, a perfectly fine way to first experience the film, but I have to wager the blu-ray that Arrow put out in 2020 is probably even better and you can buy that right here if you're a maniac like me (which yes translates to "I bought this blu ray halfway through watching it on streaming because it was rocking me so hard.") Anyway -- just what the hell is this movie? 

Glad you asked. It's about a race of starfish aliens with one big eye in their centers who beam down to Earth, immediately realize they're hideously ugly and so they then morph into a cabaret singer (I mean obviously) so they can deliver their message of imminent doom to humanity. From there it all gets a little bit Melancholia, a little bit Threads, and yes I am indeed naming some of the darkest movies you can imagine because it really gets that dark at times. But I'd also include Tin Burton's Mars Attacks! to the mix -- hell even David Lynch seems like he might've been influenced by this movie. It's super weird while also absolutely gorgeous to look at in that midcentury sci-fi kinda way.  Point being I'm 100% obsessed with it now and I am here recommending y'all take the trip yourselves if you haven't already. And if you have tell me you're obsessed too in the comments so we can bond over it please!  

Will Poulter Four Times

I guess today is all about the On Swift Horses boys! And why shouldn't it be? This morning we gave Jacob Elordi's bulge a spin and later on (ooh a preview of coming... attractions!) we'll have some Diego Calva to share. But right this minute let us toss ourselves onto Will Poulter's lap and give it a shake and a shimmy. Will was photographed for Interview Magazine, where he's interviewed by his Warfare co-star Kit Connor -- unfortunately the two of them don't discuss Kit grabbing Will's ass for all of us to enjoy; neither do they mention the shot of Will's incredible ass that's in On Swift Horses and which is one of the movie's greatest highlights. (Burned onto my brain, it is.) But then I don't mention Will's ass in my forthcoming Pajiba review of the movie either because hey -- we're professionals here! Except for here here, as in on MNPP, where I'll let my ass-ogling freak-flag fly freely. Thank goodness for safe (ass) spaces y'all. Hit the jump for the rest o' Will...

 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, Jacob

I should just post this picture of the six-foot-five special-effect that calls itself Jacob Elordi modeling for Calvin Klein every Friday that there's a new Jacob Elordi movie out in theaters -- that would be a lovely tradition, don't you think? Anyway today's Jacob Elordi movie is On Swift Horses -- yes the one where he's having gay sex! We take the pleasures we can in 2025 and this is clearly one of them. See all of my previous posts on this movie right here -- oh and my review of it will be up soon-ish at Pajiba. 

Andrew Liner Nine Times

Do any of you watch a Netflix series called Ransom Canyon? I hadn't even heard of it until I posted my great big gratuitous post yesterday morning on actor Garrett Wareing -- I didn't mention that show then because I didn't know anything about it, but a reader commented that I should also look up Garrett's co-star on that series, the one and only Andrew Liner who you see co-playing as a Jean Cocteau sketch in these photos I'm posting (via) now. And obviously now I find myself interested enough to find out about Ransom Canyon. It's a western (blah) a la Yellowstone (blah blah) which gives me pause, but it also stars Josh Duhamel, so...? Any opinions? At least we can appreciate it's gorgeous cast without having to decide immediately, which brings me back to these photos of Mr. Liner. Ahoy, pretty boy! Hit the jump for them all (plus a bonus video from the shoot)...

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Who Wore It Best?

(click to embiggen) Not perfectly identical outfits (it's not like they're wearing that mesh shirt everybody's been wearing recently) but close enough -- the fact that it's the 33rd birthday for both Joe Keery and Jack Quiad today is what really sealed the deal. See-thru shirts showing off the chest fur are always welcome after all...

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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Steel Magnolias (1989)

Ouiser: I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries.

A happy 91st birthday to the legend Shirley MacLaine!

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

If you'll excuse me I'm gonna crawl back into the backseat with Josh O'Connor for a bit, I could use a few more Zzzs... or whatever else one might get up to in the backseat with Josh O'Connor. Whatever. (We really don't talk about these blue shorts he wears in Challengers enough. Right? Right.) When Josh and I do finally get up though don't be surprised if I stare at it until you let me eat your breakfast sandwich. (Not a euphemism.) 

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Pic of the Day

I've got a screening to run to this afternoon -- I'll be back in a couple of hours and might even blog then too! But to hold you tight in its arms and keep you safe and happy here is a new photo of Jai Courtney playing a shark-wielding maniac in Dangerous Animals, one of my most anticipated movies of 2025. I posted the trailer here a few weeks ago -- the movie is premiering in the "Director's Fortnight" section of Cannes next month so I imagine those lucky assholes who go to Cannes will be blah-blah-blah-ing about this shortly. This movie was directed by Sean Byrne, the director of the exquisitely deranged 2009 horror film The Loved Ones, thus making a movie I'd already want to see -- see the aforementioned "Jai Courtney playing a shark-wielding maniac" thing -- a movie I'd throw myself into shark-infested waters to see. Down below is the uncropped image which annoyingly includes the Cannes logo, but maybe one of you freaks needs to see Jai's ankles. No judgement!

Jock Horror

As I've said numerous times here on this very website I've stopped watching movie trailers if I can help it, and most especially horror trailers because they're the worst offenders at giving away too much. With that said I've seen this image from the Jordan Peele produced football horror movie Him going around since that movie's teaser dropped a couple of days ago and how could I resist? I couldn't obviously. That's why we're here. I mean I still haven't watched the teaser and I won't as long as I can avoid it, but I will most certainly share that image of the film's star, footballer turned actor Tyriq Withers, half-naked and covered in blood. And y'all can make your own decisions from there. Him also stars Marlon Wayans, Julia Fox, and Tim Heidecker, and it's out on September 19th. Punt it into my end-zone or whatever!