Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Beach Rats (2017)

Simone: Aren't they beautiful?

Frankie: They kind of look the same 

as they did last week, and the week before last, 

and pretty much the same thing every fucking summer.

Simone: Hater.

Frankie: You know, this exact firework show 

happens every Friday at 9:30 p.m.

Simone: I think they're romantic.

Frankie: Fireworks are the opposite of romantic.

I don't pay a heap of attention to Bond casting rumors but I just saw Harris Dickinson's name among the rumored candidates in this article saying that the "next round of auditions" for our next 007 will be happening in August and weirdly I don't think I'd thought of Harris in the role before? And now that I have I think he might be great at it? He'd be different from any Bond before anyway and what other reason is there to keep this shit going if not for that? He's got a reserved quality, an amused intelligence, that would be interesting I think. I'm not saying he'd be my pick -- I'm probably still Team Henry Golding or Dev Patel -- but I wouldn't be angry at Harris being chosen. I mean...

Anyway all that's very much not the reason we're here -- we're here because today is Mr. Dickinson's 30th birthday and we wanna wish him a happy one, where ever he is right now... which is presumably wearing John Lennon drag for Sam Mendes. Going right from John Lennon to James Bond would be quite the story, though! I believe that Harris has got all of that in him. In the parlance of my "The Moment I Fell For..." series of posts I knew the minute I saw him in Beach Rats here that he was destined for big things and he has yet to prove me incorrect.

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, World

I don't think I know a single Benson Boone song but nevertheless I have watched a whole lot of footage of him doing flips and prancing around in nothing but really tight pants in the brief part of my lifetime where I have known his name and he's been around -- it is what it is. Anyway no idea of what the context is for this video I stumbled across yesterday, don't care to have said context toold to me either, but I will watch it several times all the same. It is what it is, baby. Just let it be. Let the Boone wash over you, guilt-free.

Fabien Frankel Five Times

When I watched the third season premiere of House of the Dragon two nights ago I heard a little whisper coming from my heart (I think it was my heart) saying, "There will be Fabien Frankel photoshoots soon." And sure enough! The whisper never lies. And it's thanks to our favorite people over at Behind the Blinds magazine again (via) -- god they get it. That said I hope I'm being impatient and more photos show up (as they tend to with BTB) because these ones released so far? Not the most exciting photoshoot I've ever seen.  Especially since we know Fabien is capabkle of better. So fingers crossed this is just the start. Oh and I suppose I should ask -- what did y'all think of HotD's premiere? I thought once it got going it got GOING -- obviously that battle sequence was one for the ages. And they managed to land more than one of those patented GoT-esque "Holy shit I can't believe they did that" emotional wallops as well. Good on 'em! And now hit the jump for the photos...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Desperate Living (1977)

Peggy: No, please not a kiss, I swear I'll gag!

Mount me if you must but not a kiss!

Mink Stole's every line delivery in this movie is ICONIC. Anyway Criterion really going above and beyond this Pride Month, dropping not just one but two John Waters movies onto 4K today -- both the above 1977 classic as well as his 11-years-later masterpiece Hairspray. Just realized there's a weird semi-factoid connecting these two films -- Desperate Living was Waters' first film without Divine in it, while Hairspray would be their last film together (since Divine died just eight days after that film premiered). I don't suppose that's why they're being released side by side liike this as that's a bit morbid, but it's there! 

Anyway besides having these two films on glorious 4K now there's one other reason we need to be celebrating -- this brings us two steps closer to John Waters getting a big beautiful box-set like the one that Criterion announced for Stanley Kubrick yesterday. With these two movies Criterion has now released six of eleven features -- we're over the halfway hump! I'm jonesing for Serial Mom the most out of what's left, but it strikes me that this makes for a good poll:

online polls

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Fuck the Homo-Traitor Sam Altman

Did y'all see the news that broke over the weekend that Amazon, freshly in bed with homo-traitor Sam Altman's Open A.I. company to the tune of billions of dollars, has dropped Luca Guadagnino's movie about Altman called Artificial? The film stars Andrew Garfield as the tech charlatan and according to people who've read the script it doesn't skimp on showing Altman for the fucking phony he, and his bullshit product, is -- unfortunately we live in a society (I hate how that phrase has been ruined) where these ruinous corporations can toss around billions of dollars to kill anything that criticizes them now. Not that this is a new thing (film has always been polluted by its business side) but it feels particularly naked and brazen these days, what with a psychotic con-man currently smearing shit across our White Hosue walls. Anyway the latest news seems to be that Netflix and A24 (who just announced their own bullshit A.I. deal this week), WB's new label Clockwork, and Focus Features have all also passed on picking up the film, which I do believe isn't even quite finished filming yet. Bunch of chickenshit corporate cucks. Supposedly Mubi and Neon have both shown interest so all is not lost and fingers crossed -- use some of that Obsession money for good, Neon! Neon did just release Boots Riley's anti-capitalist delight I Love Boosters -- which P.S. hit VOD today, go watch it! -- so it seems like somebody over there has some decent politics. Whatever happens, however this movie gets out, we gotta support the shit out of it when the time comes. 

Good Morning, World

Well well well Mason Gooding half-naked three first posts of the day in a row? I will allow it. (Here is yesterday's and here's last Thursday's icymi.) Anyway normally I would flip these pictures around since the second one is more of a close-up and those are better to lead with and normally I would crop out the type as well, but there's a silly little progression to his captions (via) so whatever's getting him to exploit himself for our benefit, I'll accept it. I'll allow it, I'll accept it -- I'm in a very giving mood this morning. Should I say that twice to make sure Mason Gooding really hears me? He heard me. You heard me, Mason.

Leo Woodall Sixteen Times

When I was out of the city this past weekend there was a little movie theater we stumbled on and one of the movies they were showing was Tuner, which I haven't seen yet -- we didn't have time to go but I really thought about smashing up our plans to do it, all thanks to Leo Woodall's leading man role therein. Have any of you seen it yet? I do think it's kind of funny that like his series Prime Target it's another role that insists he's got heightened mental abilities that are always getting him into trouble...

... since I will admit that personally find it a little bit more believable that it's Leo's hot ass getting him in constant trouble like in The White Lotus, but what do I know? I don't have super-hearing or super-math on my side like some people. Anyway it's his hot ass that is out (not literally unfortunately) in force again for this new spread in Esquire Portugal so let's enjoy that after the jump...

Physical Media Ultraviolence

By now I'm sure you've heard that Criterion just dropped a bomb on us that only Slim Pickens could ride -- a massive box-set of every Stanley Kubrick movie on 4K, plus some shorts, plus all of those special features they're known for, will be landing on our heads come October 20th. You can pre-order it here if you're a person for whom money is no object (in which case hey there why don't you scooch a lil' closer, new best friend) although obviously I recommend you wait for one of the big 50% off sales that land in the fall at Criterion's own site or at Barnes & Noble. Because the price right now is four hundred and eighty bucks and goodness me that's a lot of money. Especially if you're a collector like me who already owns most of these movies in some format or another. (I suppose y'all who don't need or want 4K should be keeping your eyes on my eBay though because I will be buying this set so I will be selling off those discs at some point in the next few months.) But even if you're waiting to buy the set check the long long long list of specifics at the link -- this is really a staggering set; Criterion proving they're the gold standard yet again. And here's their trailer:

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... taking out Glen Powell's ballgame.

A Mann For All Beattys

It's just me doing my "me thing" using a picture of actor Nate Mann to go along with this post sharing my review of the Tribeca movie Act One -- Mr. Mann's role in the film isn't huge but he is very sexy in it so... it's me doing the "me thing" basically. The real stars of the movie are Ella Beatty (yes the daughter of Warren & Annette aww all growed up) and our beloved Ari Graynor, who play an acting student and teacher whose relationship is toxic as fuck. Nate Mann (previously seen in the Masters of the Air  miniseries and apparently he was in Licorice Pizza?) plays another student in the class who plays a crucial, sexy role in said toxicity. Anyway besides all of that the movie is a real return to form for Always Shine writer-director Sophia Takal, who went and made the real bad Black Christmas remake in between the phenomonal Always Shine and this -- read my Tribeca review right here at Pajiba. Love Always Shine! Really liked this movie. Best to forget that Black Christmas happened, though. 

Climbing Up the Walls

Hey! 'Scuse my tardiness -- forgot to mention last week that I had a lil' movie screening this morning that was delaying my return from the extended summer weekend. But much like Mason Gooding there, only without being at all in any way shape or form like Mason Gooding, I have now crawled out of my hole and voila, it's me. In all my resplendant glory. Which, a reminder, is not a whiff like Mason Gooding's resplandant glory. But it's what I got to work with! Anyway happy Monday. Let's try to be people again. We'll see how that goes. The life long project, that.

The Damned Do Dance

Well it's somehow that time again -- the place where Thursday evening meets Monday morning since I have every Friday in the summer off. So that's that for the week! And good riddance, I say -- not that this week was particularly more awful than any of the other ones these days; 2026 is all just a steady hum of awfulness really. But because... hey, a good thing? I'm going out of town for the three-day weekend! I am headed north-ward into the woods to levitate naked around a fire-pit while cursing the patriarchy et cetera, whatever it is that one does in the woods. Breathe air, I suppose? Anyway this city can suck it, I deserve a break for at least three damn days. But no worries -- I will be back Monday. (Actually if you pay attention to Pajiba I'll have another Tribeca review going up at some point in the next day or so, so it'll be like I'm here anyway! What a thrill!) 

All of that said the most important thing about this weekend though has absolutely nothing to do with me scribbling my name in blood into Black Phillip's big black book of delicious living -- the most important thing is that the queer horror movie Leviticus is coming out tomorrow and you need to go throw your money at it guldurnit. The three pictures seen here (via) are of one of the film's young leading fellas, Stacy Clausen (I recently posted some more of him here) -- once you've gone and seen the film then go read my review at Pajiba. Or read my review first. Do what you want really, who the hell am I to tell you? Well except for the part about going to see the movie -- you really should do that so a really good movie about gay people has a sliver of success in this shitty world. Then we'll have two good things! My trip and a successful gay movie. Next stop the world! Have a good one, everybody.

Pic of the Day

The fine folks over at Neon just shared this image of a shirtless, bloodied Charles Melton on their Instagram to celebrate Nicolas Winding Refn's Her Private Hell getting a R-rating for "STRONG / BLOODY VIOLENCE, SEXUAL CONTENT, AND LANGUAGE" aka all of my favorite things. Seriously if I were to re-write that song from The Sound of Music it'd be like "Blood drops on big pecs and whipping sex kittens" and so on (sorry I am not re-writing that entire song right now, that's all you're gonna get from me). Anyway point being gimme this movie! The baffled and hostile reactions at Cannes only made me more excited than I was before. I cannot wait. Click here if you missed the teaser trailer -- it's out on July 24th! (And yes I am really hoping there's a press screening nine nights before so it can be my birthday present.) 

The Poodle Breeder Horror Movie

Another Tribeca review from yours truly for y'all to consume this afternoon -- this time we're talking Breeder, the horror movie about a... poodle breeder? Yes, a poodle breeder. It sells itself really. That said I did overall like this movie while also having some issues with it that I get into -- read my review right here. I know I'm beginning to sound like a semi-hysteric on this front but there seems to be a lot of straight white men making horror movies right now where they think are dissecting this moment's straight-white-manhood when they are really just falling into tropes of othering people who are not straight white men. And I don't so much like this aspect of horror right now! Call me crazy but that bit's not so cool! Anyway IFC and Shudder snatched this movie as it premiered at Tribeca because "The Poodle Breeder Horror Movie" is the easiest fucking sell in the world, so you'll all get to see this movie this fall. Then you can decide if I am indeed a hysteric. (I am sure most of you already decided "yes" on that but whatever.)

RSVP Hell Yes

I don't know why I thought I was embargoed with regards to sharing my opinion on Olivia Wilde's upcoming comedy The Invite -- which stars her and Seth Rogen as a married couple who invite their neighbor couple, played by Ed Norton and Penelope Cruz, over for dinner and, uhh, it goes wild -- but I just realized now that I am not embargoed, and so I feel the need to immediately shout from the rooftops that this movie is the funniest movie I have seen in a movie theater (or not in a movie theater) in a very long time. I honestly haven't openly unreservedly guffawed inside a theater like this movie had me going in I don't know how long -- I honestly don't remember the last time. I'm not tasked with writing a review so I'll probably leave it this simple -- go see this movie, go make this movie a hit, so we can get more smart silly adult comedies in movie theaters please. Below is the first look at the film from A24 -- it's out in "select theaters" next Friday and then wide on July 10th. With this and Gregg Araki's I Want Your Sex coming later in July Olivia Wilde has officially completely flipped around that rough patch her career was going through circa the Harry Styles mess -- good for her.

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Gooding, Mason, World

This photo of Mason Gooding (via) is as close as I'm going to be getting to his upcoming comedy 72 Hours since I'm a deeply anxious person and Kevin Hart's constant screaming in all of his movies makes me have to run for the exit. But I am happy to have this photo of Mason! Hopefully there will be more and I can eventually see all of those online, silently, removed from all of their context. I admit I'm feeling particularly high-strung this morning -- I figured I'd be fine, coming in to work this morning, since the Knicks Parade that's happening downtown literally ends fifteen blocks from where my office is. Reader, I was mistaken. My subway was slow, crowded, and getting off was even worse -- trying to just get my coffee and get to my building's front door was some "Nam shit. I am shook. I mean listen, as much as I loathe sports I've been generous with this basketball stuff in NYC for the past few weeks -- I liked seeing my city celebrating and excited. But those were night-time things! Don't come between me and my Dunkin at 8:30 in the morning, yo.