Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Today I'd rather be...

... man-spreading with Paul Mescal.

I've pointed out before that W Magazine seems to alternate their "Performances of the Year" photoshoots by the year between classy boring images and then really psychotic garbage -- well we're in a classy year as the above photo of Paul proves... not that he isn't giving me dirty thoughts all the same. Such is his power! I do find it weird that all of the men are over-dressed in full suits while 95% of the women are in their underwear though. And this is coming from a gay photographer! WTF Judas. Anyway a good place to find links to all their shoots for this issue is this link via their Instagram -- I gathered up the classy ass images of Paul, Daniel Craig, and Colman Domingo though, as those ones naturally interested me the most. So hit the jump for those...

Robert Pattinson Eleven Times

Old photos, practically ancient -- all the way back to the start of December! A month ago! But somehow I totally 100% missed this profile of Robert Pattinson in the New York Times Style Magazine -- but since our Bat-boy is wearing leather pants no matter how many of you have already caressed these photos with your eyeballs they gotta get themselves posted. I imagine this slab o' press was pre-scheduled for when Rob's movie with Bong Joon-ho Mickey17 was meant to come out in January, but then the damned movie moved on the calendar yet again -- now it's coming out in March. Or so they say! They keep Lucy-with-the-football'ing it down the road. Well if the studio has to be a dick about it at least we've got these photos to comfort (and re-comfort) ourselves. Hit the jump for them all...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

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Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Good Morning, Jack & Friends

Actor Jack O'Connell seems to be one of those actors who has it written into his contract that he has to get naked in everything he does -- that, plus his acting talent, are why we love him! The latest round of the laddy's exhibitionism's taken place on his BBC series Rogue Heroes (from writer Steven Knight, the same man who gave us Tom Hardy naked in Taboo and Viggo Mortensen naked in Eastern Promises - never forget!) and it's not just Jack -- it's an entire pack of (to namecheck yet another Knight opus) Dirty Pretty Things in their altogethers. I made my gifs focus in on Jack mainly so go watch the show if you want the full widescreen spectacle -- but for now hit the jump for a dozen more of said gifs... 

You Know I Love Surprises!

The lovely folks over at Vinegar Syndrome have been making this transition towards the 2025 hellscape land softer than it ought to thanks to their dropping OF some truly substantial physical medias upon us -- last month they brought us the forever unreleased Diane Keaton. masterpiece Looking For Mr Goodbar in 4K, and this month they're gifting us with Gregg Araki's stoner comedy Smiley Face starring Anna Faris! If you've been around here at MNPP HQ for awhile then surely you've heard me going off about my love for this movie more than once -- I'm not a "Stoner Comedy" person in the slightest but I adore this one and the shitty DVD has been out-of-print for ages. Pre-order it at this link! It's the little things that will hopefully get us through these difficult times and if I have to devour an entire plate of pot cupcakes to do it then so be it.  

Seb Sees Rainbows

I don't know what's more exciting -- the news I'm about to share or the fact that Sebastian Stan finally cut his hair off! (I am of the mind that he looks much hotter with shorter hair.) Let's tell the news and then you can decide for yourselves -- Sebastian is going to star in the new movie from Snowtown / Macbeth / True History of the Kelly Gang director Justin Kurzel! (And I know Kurzel is married to the great Essie Davis but the man has a very bisexual eye when it comes to making his leading men look sizzling hot.) Based on the true story told in the book called Burning Rainbow Farm (and that will be the film's title) it tells the tale of two gay men...

... named Tom Crosslin and Rollie Rohm who built a hippie stoner utopia in Mighigan, only to go to war with the government over it. I guess it was a big story that got obscured by 9/11 but I have never heard about it -- have you? Anyway Gay Sebastian! Who do we think will play his boyfriend? I'm not sure who's who in that picture above but I have to assume Seb will be the stoner on the right. Oh and further Seb news -- in that same link he says he's also going to star in the next movies from Romanian master Cristian Mungiu (probably best known for the movie 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days but I love love loved his last film R.M.N.) as well as Danish superstar Christian Tafdrup (who made the original Speak No Evil). The man has taste!

Blond Dirtbag Josh Hartnett Continued

A few weeks ago I shared a couple of photos with you of Blond Dirtbag Josh Hartnett in the forthcoming action film Fight or Flight -- well now there's a trailer! I am going to send you over to Pajiba to watch it since they're the ones who alerted me to this news. They also say we don't have a release date for this yet -- BOO! Get on Blond Dirtbag Josh Hartnett, U.S. Studios! Or I will do it for you! (Okay let me do it for you. I want to do it for you.) 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?

Today's Mood

Thank you for summing it up, Jim Cummings.

Robert Eggers' "Fresh Hell"

Oh! One other cool thing happened over the holiday that I'd totally forgotten -- it happened after all on the 23rd, right at the start of my time off, so I can be excused. And yes this is some self-love (nee obsession) but so be it -- I got quoted in a Nosferatu trailer! It's a millisecond quote in a Facebook trailer but whatever -- and I know some people think it's gauche to care about blurb-whoring but I hope I never lose this thrill I feel about it. It always makes me feel like I'm patting Lil' Me on the head and saying, "Hey kid, you obsession with movies in place of 'having friends' will one day reap some okay benefits." And I never write my reviews -- read my Nosferatu review here -- with blurbs in mind, peppering adjectives about like M&Ms for the P.R. E.T.s to follow. I am always shocked when they're able to pull something from my rambling twaddle. But I really wanted to get into a Nosferatu trailer since it's my beloved Robert Eggers and I loved this movie so much. This one made me super giddy. Here's the clip (forewarning it's terrible quality since I had to record it off of Facebook):

The Year In Queer

I did very little work over my break -- we're talking very, very little -- but I did accomplish one thing of which I am very proud! Click on over to Pajiba to read my list of The 10 Hottest Queerest Scenes in 2024's Movies. I got to go deep -- well ankle-deep anyway, as they're blurbs -- on some moments in my favorite movies of the year that I haven't heard much discussion of. I was especially happy how I managed to get the year's most hetero movie Babygirl onto the list! 

Tom Holland Eighteen Times

Tom Holland! Ringing in the New Year like a mofo! This photoshoot from Men's Health had been teased all holiday weekend (week? I don't know what day it is) with grainy quality copies popping up on social media but now we've got the real hi-res deal and that little bout of edging was worth it -- click these individual photos and hoo boy do they embiggen. It's like you can lick each ab (and why wouldn't you want to?) Someone said they thought this new shredded body is probably for his role in Christopher Nolan's next movie -- his over-the-break announced adaptation of The Odyssey -- and that makes sense to me...

... although I did say in reply that every actor is expected to have a ridiculous body like this right now, so it's probably also (and mainly) that. Not that I am complaining! I am well passed the point of personally murdering myself for unreasonable body expectations so I can just happily look on. Be healthy, kids! Et cetera. Tom's got fifty people sculpting those abdominals for him. For us! (And being Zendaya's arm candy isn't a part-time job either.) Okay I have done my New Years responsible person due diligence -- now let's hit the jump for the entire shoot (photographed by our fave queer horror director Carter Smith no less)...

Good Morning, 2025

Happy New Year to one and all -- New Years being my least favorite holiday of them all so consider there a little bit of a Grinch-esque grumble inflection at the end. Still if actor Dino Fetscher wants to ring 2025 in by doinbg a wild man dance in a speedo in the rain I am not gonna grumble too bad. In all seriousness -- hello! This year ahead (and the three that follow it) terrifies me but let's try to get through it together.

Merry Whatever

Hope your halls are getting decked good this season!

Well that's that for 2024! A terrifying statement to make for anybody who can see what 2025 will likely hold, given the political situation here and plenty of places abroad. But since I unfortunately cannot self-immolate at will, we'll just have to ride the waves as they come, I'm afraid. It's hard to be optimistic! But we've got the safe space of MNPP, we've got gifs of Keanu Reeves being queeny -- I'm doing my part. In all seriousness I'm going to continue to try to focus on putting some goofiness and beefcake out into the world -- if some fatalism creeps in so be it, but we'll play with our instruments as the ship sinks dammit. This is our prerogative. Flutes for everybody.

If y'all are feeling generous in return, feel free to unload a donation to MNPP here or over in the right-hand column -- note I have added a subscription button so you can donate some bucks monthly if you see fit! And I know we're boycotting Amazon right now because Jeff Bezos (like every billionaire alive) is a fuckwit piece of shit, but here is our Amazon Associates link since it's one of the few options I have to make money off this site since Google removed advertising because they didn't like all the beautiful bums I was sharing with you. HOW DARE THEY. Anyway I pledge to use those Amazon pennies to help bring down the billionaires in the forthcoming class war or whatever. One bare bum at a time, if that's what it takes! Oh and also I'll remind you that you can also buy my awesome shit on eBay! I have heaps of movie stuff listed over there -- blu-rays, vinyl, etc -- and I'll probably spend a chunk of my vacation time listing more. 

Okay enough with the clanging of the begging bells. Follow me on my socials if you don't already and y'all have a great rest-of-2024 -- we'll see you next year. (January 2nd to be precise.) 

Happy Nosferatu Day!

Robert Eggers' Nosferatu is out in theaters today! Go see it -- here is my review! It's an icy gothic treat -- I've seen it four times now and I personally love it more with every watch. They saved this story in their PR push for right up to the end but above you'll see a photo of Nicholas Hoult with a framed Nosferatu prosthetic penis (with a closer shot of the rotted junk below) -- read the backstory over here. It's the perfect note to end this perverted movie's press on and riddle with your holiday with syphilitic cheer! Merry merry!

The 2024 Movies Says Pajiba

My own personal list is still awhile off but today the team over at Pajiba (which yes includes me) revealed our communal Top 10 Movies of 2024 list -- click here to read them! Several of the entries are movies I reviewed so there are links to my reviews therein. A couple of the movies will also be making my own list I think, nut I haven't finalized that quite yet -- even better there's only one entry on the list I'm not a fan of. Anybody got a guess? I haven't been coy about it but nobody can pay attention to all of my bullshit. And I bet you Nosferatu -- which happily did make the list -- would've made it even higher on it if our entire team had been able to see it. Its Christmas release cut it off from a lot of folks voting. Anyway we did good, we rock, et cetera.

W&G: Vengeance Most Fowl in 150 Words

Unqualified utter perfection. I could leave this review right there, honestly. Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl is another jewel in the Aardman Animation crown. As good as any of the four previous W&G shorts or the one previous W&G movie The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (aka "The Complete Cracking Collection" as they call it) -- I'd say I wished I was a kid so these movies could be formative but they make me feel like a kid and reform me in their image anyway. If you spend the entire holiday break watching this new movie over and over again on Netflix I would not, could not, blame you. It's absolute and total buck-tooth-to-stub-toe delight start to finish. The only complaint is obviously we all wish Nick Park could churn these perfections out faster, but I'll take the slow turnover rate when these illustrious homeruns are knocked out every time. Cinema!

Steven Yeun Twenty Times

These GQ "Men of the Year" lists have been a real godsend -- it seems like every edition of GQ around the world has been doing their own lists and so we've gotten big photoshoots of several actors we're always here for big photoshoots of over the past few weeks. Harris Dickinson for the UK last week, and just yesterday there was The Sympathizer star Hoa Xuande for GQ Austrailia. But one I've had my eyes on for several days and finally managed to gather enough images up from is Steven Yeun, who's featured in GQ Korea's issue...

... and no I don't get why he can't cover our American edition either since he's American but I'll just put that out there and not dive into it too much lest I spoil our fun. Mostly I'm just annoyed because Korean magazines are really aggressive about their watermarks so I had to leave the big distracting GQ on several images below. But anyway I did finally manage to scrounge up a batch of photos from several different sources and I've got 'em after the jump... 

Five Frames From ?

What movie is this?